...just not fun because I don't know them well, so it's like an awkward first date year after year.
What are yours like?
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Fine. Not the same as with my family, but they do treat me like family. Last year I was in the first trimester and feeling terrible so I totally just sat around
The worst part is Dh and his brothers just want to golf a lot leaving me with his mom- who I really love, but if I was going to spend time alone with a mom I'd rather it be mine. Our parents are across the country from each other so it's one or the other.
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Fun because we're all booze bags!
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Awkward. Well, I should be honest here, we have only ever spent ONE holiday with his parents and it was Easter which was super fun because I made it fun.
I think Christmas would be really tough for me. They just don't celebrate it like my family does.
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@keiki_mama: Hahahahaha - awesome! My ILs are pretty good drinkers too
Holidays are great. I see my ILs very often - at least twice a week - so it's comfortable enough. Plus, there's lots of kids to entertain if I ever feel overwhelmed or like I'm missing my own family
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much more formal than with my side of the family!
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Fine. With my FIL's family we always go to this lodge that his grandparents rent for an entire weekend for the entire family. I don't really like going because it is far away (like 4 hrs, boo) and it's really uncomfortable (you have to take air mattresses and sleep on a concrete floor) and I don't really feel like I know his family that well or like they have a huge interest in getting to know me. But it's one of those obligation things, so we do it.
We've only spent Christmas with my MIL once and it was also fine. I like my MIL and my SIL and nephew but again its far away (a flight or a 6 hour train ride) and uncomfortable (again with the air mattress on the floor) and their house is just really tiny so there is no privacy AT ALL EVER. Which sort of gets to me after a while (and we went for a full week since it is so far away).
I'm excited to spend the holidays with my family this year. Not only is it my own traditions and family and home, but it's not nearly so inconvenient because they are only 2 hours away and we have a whole floor to ourself with our own bedroom/bathroom/sitting area in my parents' home so we have plenty of space and privacy.
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It's fine. Holidays are actually more stressful with my own parents, because my mom likes everything to be "just so" and gets upset when things don't go as nicely as she'd like. My MIL is way more laid back about that stuff.
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about as much fun as shooting yourself in the foot? haha really they are just exhausting. They are 100 miles an hour, full speed ahead kind of people. I come from a relaxed crowd.
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Are wonderful, I honestly feel like his family is my family and love to see LO with her cousin. This year is even more special because they built a new edition (family room) specifically to fit all of us better
Grandma wants us to fill that room up with more grandkids! haha
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Fine. Not the same as Christmas with my family, but not bad.
His family Christmas is very small. Just mom, dad, us, his sister and her husband, and now our LO I guess, and they don't really do anything besides eat dinner. And his sister only likes to receive cash, and his parents only ever give gift cards, so the gift exchange is a quick and boring envelope exchange.
My family comes from far and wide (like my cousins that I grew up with more like siblings come home from Europe), and our dinner is about 25 people. We draw names on Labour day to decide who you have to make a homemade gift for, and exchange them on Christmas and it's always awesome, hillarious and highly anticipated, and then we get a little drunk and go caroling or play games.
So, as much as I like DH's family I'm sometimes like... we could have a quiet dinner with the immediate family any day of the year so I want to be at the spectacle and see family that's only home at Christmas.
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Fine. Nothing awful not not fun. They don't have any traditions. Crap shoot as to what we will have for dinner. I also HATE that they give everyone their gifts and all open at the same time. I can't see what anyone got or if they liked what we got. Nephews don't say Thank you. Sometimes FIL and SMIL do, but SIL and BIL don't either. Just so different then my family.
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Lame. Its just MIL and FIL, usually. FIL lays in bed and watches Westerns while MIL sits in the dining room and nervously tries to entertain us. She doesn't cook so she usually gets something like KFC. DH said they have always been this way. Its so foreign to me! I like to actually celebrate!
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hell. i'm pretty sure that if there is a hell, it is exactly like spending time with my ILs.
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are stressful. It's exhausting maintaining a happy face and being on guard all of the time in case my MIL is looking for drama. I usually come back needing a few days to reorient myself after it. I also feel bad for his grandma since she has to cook for everyone in the family during holidays or almost every other gathering. None of the other family members really step up to do the cooking and hosting. It's tough to watch.
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@mrs. bird: I consider inlaw visits a ring of hell, onto itself.
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awkward - although my BIL/SIL only live about 15 min from us we really only see them at Thanksgiving and Christmas (their choice) and we really only see them them because FIL stays at their house.
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Awesome. My ILs are great. We spend more of our holidays with them than my family because they are so much closer. I do feel guilty about that.
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Busy. I feel like we're always all over the place and never get any time for just me, DH and DD.
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@cascademom: seriously. we need an ILs from hell support group.
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Not bad. We eat and chat for a bit. Nothing too exciting, but I like spending time with them.
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Not too shabby. This will be my 8th Christmas celebrating with them. I love spending time with his extended family, and everyone has always welcomed me. The hardest year was LO's first when everyone was very critical.
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My in laws lived very close to us when we were in college and I used to hate going there for holidays. They didn't do anything to celebrate and we didn't even eat at the table - just sat in front of the tv.
A few years ago they moved back across the country to where their families live. Now it's a trek for us but they actually celebrate holidays. Family dinners, decorations, guests. I still miss my family but at least I don't feel like I missed the holiday.
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Awesome. We spend all holidays with his family. I look forward to it!
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Fine but awkward? We spend Christmas Eve day at my MIL and SFIL's house. They're perfectly fine people, but my MIL is always apologizing for everything and is very insecure. My SIL is consistently negative and unhappy, also insecure, judgmental and greedy. She's a treat all year round. The extended family comes over around 5:30 and they're a ton of fun, but we always have to leave shortly after they come to get to my parents' house, so I always feel we're short changed at both places.
Christmas at my FIL and SMIL's house is pretty fun and much more relaxed, but usually short. Honestly, nothing compares to Christmas at my parents' house, and I'd always rather be there. I feel kind of bad about it, but really, my husband prefers my family to his, too.
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nervewracking. They get on my nerves, especially MIL. UGH!
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Ok. I love my ILs but I wish they would spend less money on Christmas presents and just focus on quality time with each other.
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Fun, but almost always drama-inducing.
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Usually lovely but stressful because I feel guilty for not being with my family. My mom usually has high expectations for holidays and the fact that they are impossible to meet makes me feel guilty...
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lots of fun, as long as MIL lets me do the cooking
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Rowdy, but fine. They're a huge family, and I grew up used to more intimate, cozy holidays. Sometimes, it gets overwhelming, and I look forward to leaving for my parents.
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@Grizz Your in-laws remind me of mine! Except my MIL would get a Stouffers lasagna or something.
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Non existent, they live in S. America
But we did visit them for the Jewish holidays this year, but it wasn't a big deal.
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Rare, for good reason. And there's never enough food.
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My MIL has her moments - all is well as long as we play along, if we don't...
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Anxiety-inducing. I like to keep myself busy by cooking -- I'd much rather host than go over to their house and just sit. Also quite alcohol-filled with helps with the anxiety.
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Great fun! It starts with a champagne/brandy cocktail and then the wine starts flowing.... then the after dinner Gin and Tonics.... then more wine..... it's pretty awesome!!
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Boring with gross food. It's always like they're just doing everything for the sake of obligation but there's no joy. So happy we don't have to go this year.
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@JerricaBenton: You know, I have a hard time explaining what Christmas is like at my IL's but I think you put your finger right on it. Almost like everybody's just there because they don't want to be the family that doesn't get together at Christmas. My MIL makes a larger turkey at Thanksgiving (that's October in Canada), and freezes it, and pulls it out and microwaves it at Christmas. And SIL sends us an email mid November explaining that they already have enough junk and would really appreciate cash for Christmas, so we do that (we give her and her husband the same $100ish each that we spend on my family and she usually gives us Avon samples since she's sells it) but it's all just kinda... soul-less and obligatory.
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