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I'm with @illumina: . It's strange that we both chose this option because it's very rare for people to build their own homes here!!! Maybe we're both just dreaming....!!

The thing is, this house is going to be your forever house, right? It's not a starter home with a view to getting a house you love later down the line. This is the house your hubby will retire in - this is THE house. So don't settle for one you don't love or isn't in the area you want to live, for goodness sake!

My BFF and her DH bought a house they didn't love with a view to making a bit of profit on it and then trading up. Well the bottom fell out of the market over here and they're now in negative equity. The schools around there are awful, the area is degenerating and they're stuck there indefinitely. My DH and I, however, waited. We picked a house not just in the area but in the street we had our hearts set on and we're happy to be stuck here! The house is a little small for my liking but we didn't have a build-your-own option.

Do it! Build your dream house!! Squee!

@Cherrybee: ugh, I know. I would love to build a house. Is it because the cost of the materials are so expensive here or is it land? Actually I don't have a huge imagination so I would probably be better buying something already standing! One of my friends is in the same situation as yours after they bought in 2007 right before the prices crashed. We still haven't bought because we have been unable to decide on where we want to live...and even if we did it might take us years to find something that was just right!

I think there are things you can compromise on like maybe the yard, but not having enough bedrooms will really frustrate you, possibly to the point that in a few years you'll be wanting to move again. It happens! So I might suggest waiting for something else or looking into building. Or you never know, that other offer might not work out! And in the meantime it could help to get prequalified so you'll be ready to put in an offer. In the end I know you'll find your dream house even though this part is stressful!

@illumina: I asked DH (because he is in the industry) and he thinks it's down to a number of reasons.

- Cost of land. We have less available land here than in some parts of America (obv not NYC etc) so land is very expensive.

- He thinks the planning laws are a lot stricter here.

- Materials. If you watch Extreme Home Makeover or look online for homes in USA, it seems like a lot of the (OMG so gorgeous) homes there are made from timber. We build out of brick here - whether that's because of our weather or just tradition, you don't see many wooden houses here so it would be more expensive in terms of labour and materials.

- Tradition. It's just not the done thing here in the way it is in the USA.

I'd LOVE to build my own house. Actually, I'd love to emigrate. Oh my word, I've seen some amazing 5 bed 5 bath houses in Maine etc that are cheaper than my teeny tiny 3 bedroom house!! I neeeeed one!!!

@Cherrybee: I know! Houses elsewhere in the World seem so much cheaper than the U.K.! Don't think it would convince me enough to emigrate though...the weather on the other hand might

@marionberry Don't give up if this is IT. Find out what you need to do and give a competing bid. Things fall through (for bidders) for all kinds of reasons. If you are offering the same price, you could write a personal letter to the owners (delivered by your realtor) to give you an edge. That's what we did and got it.
I voted WAIT because another dream house will eventually turn up....but given your time and movement limitations, it might be difficult.

@marionberry: I would talk to them about it and see how long you can continue to stay there.

@marionberry: It sounds like the 3+bonus room house could work in either scenario if you like it enough. You could use the bonus room as a bedroom/guest room for a few years and then whatever else after that. Do you feel like it has enough space for 2-3 kids and does the layout work for 2-3 kids, especially with one much older?

If you don't go with either house, maybe you could figure out what you loved most about the "perfect house" and use that to guide your search.