DS is six weeks old. I want to limit guests to three hours. Sometimes when we have guests, especially for longer periods of time, DS just cries and cries. I feel like this reflects poorly on him (and me) as being a fussy baby. I think what's happening is that there is too much noise and too much expectation for him to look at our guests, and he is getting overstimulated. (Things that have been said while I'm holding him and he is asleep: "Baby, wake up!" "Baby, open your eyes.") In a perfect world, I'd like to have him sleep in his crib when he falls asleep instead of in someone's arms. How do you tell someone who has come over to see your baby that he's sleeping in his crib and you can't disturb him? Do I just have to deal with it?
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I nursed on demand for at least the first month. This helped me get away from visitors who overstayed their welcome to nurse the baby. I also didn't want people holding him while he was sleeping because I was getting little sleep as it was and I needed him to sleep.
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I don't think it is in any way out of line to say he's sleeping so no we wont wake him. I would never in a million years want a newborn woken up so I could see him (plus a sleeping baby is cuter and more enjoyable than a tired cranky crying baby!). I guess there are people who will think you are an over anxious mother or something if you lay out ground rules, like, only x hours long, won't wake him, he has to sleep in the crib, or whatever, but he is your baby and you are the one that deals with it when he doesn't sleep! Stay strong!
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Ugh! I feel for you. My MIL is like that. We had lots of feeding issues in the beginning which resulting in a very fussy DD. The first time my MIL came over after the initial just born visits DH had just gotten DD to sleep (took almost an hr), she walked right over to her & woke her up.
Sad thing is it actually got even worse when I told MIL it was time for me to nurse her & she pretty much refused to hand her over trying to shush DD until she was screaming.Needless to say I can count on 1 hand how many visits we've allowed her over for & DD is 7 mths.
If people aren't going to respect what you feel is best for your lo then don't allow them over. As much as it stinks that people really do disregard those things the solution really is that simple.
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No, you do not just have to deal with it!! This is your baby and your home, so your rules go. Don't wake a sleeping baby for guests, or let them wake baby. Others need to respect baby's sleep schedule. I would keep visits short or give LO a break from visitors when you feed him or change him.
My MIL wake DS up when he was just a few days old and I didn't do anything the , as I was already in years that I had to hand him over to her in the first place, but since then I listen to my mama bear instincts.
Sad thing is it actually got even worse when I told MIL it was time for me to nurse her & she pretty much refused to hand her over trying to shush DD until she was screaming.Reply
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4 comments