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@MrsMccarthy: The biggest difference probably was that I got a lot more involved with parenting, just because there was so much to do!

As far as the kids go, I don't think Charlie noticed a difference... he was just thrilled to have a baby sister. I think if he was older, it might've been harder!

@MrsMccarthy: follfollowing. I worry about this all the time. I also worry I won't bond with lo2 because I will spend so much time with lo1 as well and also the a whole opposite gender thing.

I think a lot of this depends on the age gap - mine are a year and a half apart, and honestly I don't think it's changed too much for my older son. Right now you're obsessing over your guilt for him, but I found that the guilt flipped after having the baby - once you fall in love with the new little one, then you feel bad that big brother/sister had all this personal one on one time and constant attention as a newborn, and that's just not possible the second time around.

L had been mad that I'm not allowed to pick him up because I'm recovering from a c-section. But other than that, it hasn't been a huge change - like all newborns, D naps a ton, so L still gets one on one time then. And when he wakes up from his naps L is super excited to see him and starts screeching hi while waving, it's pretty adorable. And once D stops taking so many naps and starts needing more attention, that means he's getting to the age where they can be buddies and play together!

But honestly, once you're living it, it's much harder to give individual attention to the newborn than it is with your older child, so don't stress so much about it! The one tip I have is to buy a couple of cool special toys that you only bring out when you're busy with the new baby - L has a couple new toy cars that light up and make sound, and I only bust them out when I'm pumping or nursing.

I agree DH has stepped up a ton!!

I do miss our one on one time but we still get it on occasion.

I do feel sad that I snap or get frustrated with her much easier.

Honestly, I didn't get to spend much time with DD at all those first 6 months when the baby had a lot of needs (but that's really a small blip in time that they'll never remember!). A lot of the worries I had while pregnant about not getting 1:1 didn't get too me too much because I saw the deep relationship DD and DH began to form. DD had always been SUCH a mama's girl and always only wanted me, so it was really cool to see her bond with DH in a new way.

Once we hit 6 months and there was consistency in DS's schedule (like set naps, and he went to bed every night by 6:30 pm), I found that I still got a lot of 1:1 time with DD because as she grew older, her bedtime got pushed later. She was sleeping at 8:30 pm so I got that 1:1 time with her after DS was put to bed (these days she's actually sleeping at 9-9:30!!). He also needed more naps than she did, so I got time with her during those times too.

Like pp's mentioned, I was feeling more guilt about not getting more dedicated alone time with the baby than I was with my toddler. But it's nice that they really don't know any differently since they were born into the world with a sibling!

We also make dedicated 1:1 time with each of our kids now that they're both out of the baby stage and older. DH will take one while I spend time with the other, and vice versa! It's all worked itself out pretty well...

I have much less patience for older DD, often they both cry for me and I feel torn, and now, not only is older DD jealous, but younger DD gets jealous, too. I miss being able to focus on being present and in the moment with my oldest. And, I feel sad that my baby doesn't get held as much because her older sister is so demanding. It doesn't help that my youngest doesn't nap much, because I would love an hour or 2 with oldest DD, and I think that would help her feel less jealous and more secure. Mine are 22 months apart, youngest is now 9 months, and I'm not going to sugarcoat it- it's gotten easier, but it's hard.