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I had two under two for a bit. My son was 11 months old when my daughter was born. Our approach was very relaxed. Idk it was different but not hard for me at least. I put my son down first at night and then tended to my daughter. My son doesn't have a long bedtime routine. We just change diapers, put on pjs, brush teeth and I lay him down and that was it. We have bedtime at 6pm. Early I know but my kids wake up at the crack of dawn no matter how late I lay them down. My son has always been this way.

I've noticed the more rigorous and stritch I made my schedule the harder and more stressed I was so now I have a loose one. It is subject to change. You'll get the hang of it. The first two weeks were the hardest. I had a few days where I let dh not help as much like if he was at work to see if I could do it alone. He would be there as a safety net in case I needed help.

Biggest thing is give yourself grace. Your house and dishes can wait. There will be toys on the floor at night and sometimes the laundry will pill up some but it all balances out in the end. Sometimes both kids will fuss and cry. This is hard part. Thats okay though. You only have two hands. They will get what they need. One may have to wait a maybe an extra 15 minutes. However they will have their needs met.

I'm about to have my 3rd. I will have 3 under 3. So I understand the feeling of stress. I'm due on the 4th of August.

Also letting my son watch movies and have a snacks helped save my sanity. It's okay to have extra screen time in the beginning. You'll have a newborn.

Following! We just came home with #2 a few weeks ago and I'm still trying to figure out how to juggle two (DS is almost 4.) I am hoping it gets easier because it definitely has been quite the challenge for me. We had my mom stay with us for 3 weeks which really helped. Hope your transition is easier than mine! @cyoung: Great tips! Totally agree about the extra screen time happening with snacks. This has literally saved me the last few weeks with a newborn!

I’m 9 months into having two and it gets easier every day. We kept bedtime the same for DS1. DS2 didn’t really have bedtime for the first while. We had quiet activities I could do with DS1 in the couch while I nursed in those early days. Some days there will be lots of screen time and that is ok.

Mine are just about two years apart.

For what it’s worth, I found going from 1 to 2 WAY easier than going from 0 to 1. Partly because I was already in the trenches and at least I kind of knew what to expect. I also think I was so scared it was going to be awful because so many people live to share their horror stories!

I mean two is definitely harder than one, but I really didn’t think it was as terrible as I feared.

As you probably know I’m a stickler for schedule and routine and healthy sleep habits. So that’s where I’ll focus.

1) start newborn on a loose routine/schedule from day 1. It helps EVERYONE. Even LO1. I don’t know why people say newborns can’t be on a schedule, both of mine were. No, not a watch the clock kind of schedule. But keeping track of wake time, being vigilant about putting them down after a certain amount of wake time (newborns it’s honestly like 30-45 mins max) and putting them down to sleep on their own from day 1. People think babies can’t be spoiled. Or that they are only content when being held. So they hold them all the time for sleep and naps. And then they’re surprised when the baby will only sleep when being held and can’t do drowsy but awake. Do it from day 1, trust me. Also keep in mind that sleep specialists say infant bedtime should be between 5-7pm! Which sounds bonkers but it’s true and it works. “Witching hour” is actually the baby being tired and wanting to go to bed.

2) We instilled a 6-7pm bedtime for the baby from day 1. Depending on how naps went. My then 3.5yo went to bed at 7pm at the time (and still does at almost 5). So that was tricky for sure. But I did find that since the baby has night wakings and the overtired and wired thing applied more to him than the toddler, i was better off letting DS1 stay up a little and watch a show while I put the baby to bed. So baby to bed first then toddler. The toddler already has a schedule/routine and even if you stray you can always get back on it. The foundation is there. The baby NEEDS the foundation to be built. So I felt it was more important to focus on him at this stage.
I also moved some things around. Instead of say 5pm dinner for my big boy and then a 6pm bath, I did a very early bath, during one of the baby’s late afternoon/early evening naps. That way it was out of the way early and he was in PJs, even before dinner. So really once dinner was over and baby was in bed, I literally just had to brush DS1s teeth, read books and put him to sleep. It was much more manageable than trying to feed him and then bathe him while trying to put the baby to bed or while the baby is screaming because he’s over tired. And I was able to focus on big brother and give him the loving that He needed. He had some normalcy. Then during the 20-30 mins or so that I was doing final feed and putting the baby down for the night is when he got to watch an extra episode of his fave show. All bathed and in PJs. So yeah, he watched tv from 6:30-7 and went to bed closer to 7:15/30, but it worked really well actually. Mine was older so maybe he was just more flexible at that point than a 2yo would be.
You can move around things that you’ve done the same way for 2 years. I guess that’s a big tip of mine - it’s ok to scramble things with the big kid for a little while till you’re all adjusted.

3) don’t plan to cook meals every night for a few months. Just don’t. Unless cooking is like your passion or you find it crazy easy. I don’t. So I didn’t. Lots of easy meals, delivery, etc. Everyone lived to tell the story. That 4-5pm time will feel much calmer if you aren’t worrying every night about cooking. You’ll see, the evenings are the most bonkers time of the day.

4) some days will go to crap. And that’s ok. Just remember what worked and what didn’t and tomorrow is a new day. Start over.

For what it’s worth, I found 1-2 wayyyyyyyyyyy easier than 0-1. It was hard for sure. But your life is already adjusted for kids when the 2nd one comes, so to me I didn’t feel the changes that had to happen were that drastic.

For me it was easy when lo2 was newborn but actually got harder as lo2 grew/got older. Lo2 is way more needy and clingy than my first and also way more whiney. I find it hard to get things done when lo2 is around and it's difficult bc lo1 was so chill and easy that lo2 seems "worse". To this day it's still not easy. But it's doable. I think the biggest thing for me was to lower my expectations... and to admit that I can't do it all. I had a harder time going from 1-2 than I did from 0-1 but I attribute that 100% to my kids personalities.

For me the hardest time is bedtime. Bc lo2 is so high needs I have to focus on him and he sometimes takes a LONGGG time to go to sleep while Lo1 is sometimes alone (bc daddy works late).. I hateeeeeee this but I haven't figured out how to change it. Sometimes if it's taking a very long time lo1 will sneak in and lay on the floor while I rock lo2 (seriously the best kid I tell you lo1!!!)

I would start by just giving yourself some time/freedom to figure things out and not be too worried, it will be a transition and some temporary solutions may need to happen when the baby is super new to get through that phase.

If your older LO needs a little extra movie/ipad time, then it's OK if it helps you out for a bit! I had sent my older son to daycare while I was home with the new baby (mine were 3 years apart)... and it helped so much for him to have his same routine, and me to get some time alone to bond with the new baby.

Nighttime was always tricky. It was compounded by the fact that my husband was traveling a ton for work when I had the new baby, so I ended up getting a mothers helper at night for an hour or two every so often so I could get the baby down, then be able to spend time with my older child to do books and bedtime. She would help him eat, bath, and play while I got the baby down. Much easier when DH was around to help, and I tried to make sure to have QT with my older son when I could.