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DS1 was hard fought for after 2 losses, a major surgery, a year of recovery, 3 years trying overall, and a rough higher risk pregnancy.

DS2 was a complete surprise and we got pregnant when DS1 turned 10 months old. (And we didn't find out until just before his first birthday). So in that sense we had no choice.

We feel like if we are taking our own wishes into consideration we are done (age, energy, pregnancy being tough on me, neither of us enjoys the newborn phase, etc). However, we are devout Christians and as we've prayed about it, we haven't felt a sense of certainty that we are complete with 2. So we didn't take any permanent measures like tubal ligation or vasectomy (I can't be on birth control for medical reasons).

I don't know that if we have a third we will go through pregnancy. I'm already 35 and I don't think we'd be ready to deal with another infant for at least 3 more years - i.e. when our eldest is in kinder and the second is in preschool. But we are open to fostering or adoption so that might be something we would do, and we could get a slightly older child that way and bypass newborn hell. But again, a 3rd child would likely require a lot of lifestyle change, like a bigger house, for one, and a question of whether or not I should SAH, which would impact our finances obviously.

That said finances aren't the hugest factor for us. Saving for retirement is important and being debt free is important and that's our main goal. Not being a burden to our kids in old age is the biggest thing we are committed to. I mean ideally we would help with college, but on balance I think having an extra sibling outweighs how much college money you would get, so that's more our thinking.

Since the majority of HB'ers seem not to be religious, this probably won't make a lot of sense to most posters - but lots of prayer and asking God for direction! That's how we've ended up with our 2 kids and one on the way. We'll see what the future holds.

We both have one sibling. So 2 just seems normal for us. We won't take permanent measures until in in my late 30s, we are open to a 3rd but probably just 2.

We have waffled a lot between being one and done, or trying for a second. There are many a reason why being done is appealing to us. I had hyperemesis, was on bedrest most of my pregnancy, and ended up being induced for pre-eclampsia. Even getting pregnant was difficult. LO had colic, acid reflux, and still isn't sleeping through the night. Now that she's 1, we are just now finding a good groove. Why mess that up? And why go for it now? For us, the overwhelming desire to have another child, and give DD a sibling outweighs the desire to stop at one. There is no guarantee siblings will be close, and there is no guarantee they won't be. My brother is my very best friend, and walked me down the aisle. DH and his sister do not have a good relationship at all. He sees my brother and I, and would love to hopefully have that bond between his own children. I'm the second child, and my mom wanted to stop at one. She says I completed the family, and was the missing link they didn't know was even missing. For us, we don't want to have any regrets not expanding our family due to the first year and pregnancy being as difficult as it was. This is a small chapter in the grand scheme of parenting, and I'm sure she will sleep some time! I hope... That being said, if we didn't just go for it, I wouldn't make any permanent decisions until LO was a bit older, or if I was a lot older. We are 29, and our LO is 1, so we have time if we decide to waffle back and forth. I do think we will never feel 100% sure we are ready to actually go for it, but I'd rather have a slightly smaller gap than I wanted than waiting and needing to go through the RE again.

We spent five years trying to have our first - 8 IUIs, and 2 IVFs before I got pregnant. I wasn't interested in going through more ART so we figured we were one and done. Then when B was 17 months I got pregnant naturally. Now we're trying to decide whether we're 100% done and ready to take permanent action (vasectomy) or whether we want to leave it open. I'm 99% sure that we're done, I just need to take that final 1% step and get my husband to make the appointment.

We both always knew we wanted more than one- we both have siblings and they are super important to us, my sisters are my best friends. So we knew we would have two at least. For financial reasons we figured we would probably stop there.

Now we have our two and it's hard! I know this is a short window in our lives, but I don't think I could go through the infant stage again with two kids, a few years older. I'm 35 now and I don't think I want a newborn when I'm 38.

So we are 99.99999% sure we are done with two, but won't make anything permanent before my IUD expires in 5 years.

It's a hard one. I was naive to think we'd get to make the choice, but I don't know that we will.

Our dream was always three babies - but after spending so many years and so much money on treatment, I don't think we'll manage it.

It sucks, because religion used to be important to me - but that's definitely dimmed over the years.

I'm still hoping this baby will be #2 and we'll get to take her home with us - the anxiety is still there that something will go wrong - but this might be our last.

That said, we thought long and hard about coming to terms with G being our one and only.. and there are a lot of pros, even when the entire world seems to expect you to have more. Whatever choice you make, it'll be right for YOUR family and situation. *hugs*