The title sums up my question.
My husband and I are still about a year away from starting this process, but trying to figure out a discreet way to arrange everything seems next to impossible since the dates are not set in stone. How did you do it? Which days did you take off? Did you ever call in sick or go to work late?
persimmon / 1085 posts
My boss knew about my entire infertility battle (over a period of two years, including a miscarriage and three surgeries) so she knew all about IVF and that I'd miss a lot of work. I scheduled all of my blood tests/ultrasounds first thing in the morning, so I wasn't too late for work (about an hour late) most days. But she knew in advance that I'd need off two days for the retrieval and transfer and that I wouldn't know which two days until just before the trigger shot. If you aren't going to tell your boss, I would just say you need to have medical procedures and won't know when until last minute. If not, you'll have to call in sick, I guess. Hope this helps!
coffee bean / 48 posts
Jenn23 - Thanks for sharing you experience. That's great that you were able to be that honest with your boss.
Unfortunately I do not feel comfortable sharing that information with any of my supervisors, but your suggestion to refer to it as a "medical procedure" isn't bad. Thanks for the suggestions!
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
@cityliving: I think Jenn23's idea to be vague about it is smart! It's really none of their business anyway.
honeydew / 7968 posts
i didn't tell anyone at work. the blood work and checkups were always done in the morning. got to "work" (come back home) by 9/10. i took the whole week off the week i did the retrieval and transfer - i did day 3, so worked out well. even if i did day 5, it would have been on my day off....since i work part-time. (you should know ahead of time when the retrieval is - you just won't know if you're day 3 or day 5)....
persimmon / 1085 posts
@cityliving: Yes, I consider myself very lucky in that I could share everything with my boss. But I understand why you can't and that most people wouldn't, so just keep it vague and keep referring to everything as medical procedures, tests, etc and I bet it'll turn out great.
pear / 1723 posts
I didn't tell work either, but I work from home mostly, so it was less of an issue. My husband just listed his time off as medical or vacation, and nobody had any idea. I suppose you could also lie and say you have family visiting for a week or two, as an explanation for coming in late, leaving early, long lunches, etc. because you're trying to spend time with or tend to them?
Most IVF clinics will schedule your monitoring appointments very early in the morning - some as early as 6-7am - so that you can go in before work without being late. Or you can try to schedule around your lunch hour. The clinic will also give you a tentative schedule, so you'll at least know your monitoring dates, and will have a good idea of when your retrieval and transfer dates are.
I would recommend taking a full day off for your egg retrieval and embryo transfer date. Remember that the retrieval is actual surgery, so I think taking that day is a must. And if you're able, scheduling a week off work that encompasses both days is a really nice way to let yourself recover and relax, because there will be some uncomfortable days.
Good luck!
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