Y'all. I am going crazy. My LO is so sweet and funny and easy and all kinds of wonderful things, but she will not play by herself. At all. Well, very rarely. And it's just getting worse. I've tried to direct her towards toys, given her books, set timers, set up creative activities, even threaten to just give all of her toys away. She does not cling to me when there are others around, so I know she can play. Part of this is classic introvert vs extrovert stuff. I need 5 minutes without talking sometimes. She's been a total extrovert since birth. Any suggestions on how to direct her towards independent play? We need to get a little better at this before her baby sister is born in September!
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Following :). We get short bursts of independent play but my son is also a total extrovert and always wants someone to play with him or watch him play. I hear "watch me mama!" Or "sit down mama play" a million times a day.
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Can you try to stretch her patience a bit? Sit down and begin an activity with her, and then say "Mommy has to XXX. I'll be back in one minute." And then do. Go away, but come back and re-engage. A few minutes later "Mommy has to YYY. I'll be back in two minutes." Slowly over time extend the period of time you're gone. And give lots of praise when you get back and she's doing what you asked.
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Can you try some Montessori techniques, I know they encourage free independent play?
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@winniebee: "Mommy, want to do this with me?" It sounds so sweet and it's hard not to just melt and say yes all the time. Momma needs a break!
@Jess1483: It's a daily struggle. We're constantly working on patience and doing different things in different rooms, etc.
@LuLu Mom: I should look into that. We're not really crazy about Montessori, but I'm sure there are some great ideas that we could use!
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I struggled with this for a long time, then I realized that my son just plays with things differently. For example, we had a little set up for play food/kitchen. Not interested. Instead, he liked to sort the food, organize it by color, put it into boxes, take it out of boxes, etc. So I went with that.
My son also LOVES play dough, he'll sit and roll and stamp for hours, literally. We go through at least 4 cans of play dough a week. Do you have a spot you can set up a station?
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@looch: Plenty! And we do set it all up for her, and make it really easy for her to access almost all of her toys (some are upstairs, others are in the basement living area where she is allowed to go by herself when I'm in the kitchen or living room - I can hear and peek down easily). We have a little success with her playing alone in the basement. Really, my struggle isn't that she can't play. She knows how, and I don't care what that looks like. I just need her to do it alone sometimes. Without dragging toys to where I am and piling them at my feet, hanging on my legs whining for me to play with her.
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@Weagle: I didn't think it would ever happen with my son, he used to literally play in between my feet in the kitchen, lol. Then around when he turned 2, he just kind of got it and he's been playing when I am not in his direct line of site.
I have a hard time, because I was always content and actually preferred to play alone. My mom tells me that she used to try to play with me and I'd basically tell her to get lost, lol.
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