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I told day care that I don't want to know what she does first there. I tell them when I see something at home. Then they can say she is doing it at day care.

It sucks though. I just try and not think about it.

I'm with @Smurfette: I just kind of jokingly tell them that if the boys do something new and impressive not to tell me until I see it! I think they kind of do that anyway. They'll sort of slyly mention something like, "Oh, those boys are trying to let go and stand on their own," and I think it's to see if I say oh, yeah, they're doing x, x, and x at home, too.

Honestly, there are just some things that hurt to miss, and there's not a lot to do about it. For instance, back before we ever heard them really laugh, their first daycare told us, "E was just cracking up today." I was sad to not get the first belly laughs, and so irritated that my kid apparently found everyone funnier than us! Hang in there, friend.

@septca: make a good point. Sometimes, especially as a first-time mom, something doesn't even click in my mind as being an accomplishment because I'm thinking of things like crawling, taking steps, first words, etc. So, it can be nice to have other eyes and ears watching the baby dudes and cluing us into new developments.

I got lucky to be around for most of them, but I've surprised myself at how well I've handled ones I've missed. My mom sends pics/msgs when things happen and it hasn't bothered, it just makes me excited for him to do it again when I get home!

In the beginning it bothered me, but now if she does something first with the nanny, I don't mind. It's just part of the territory, I don't need to be there for every first, but when I see it it's my first time and I still relish in that moment. For instance, with walking, it's not like LO just got up and started walking one day, she was taking wobbly steps for a few days, it didn't matter if her first wobbly step was taken in front of the nanny or us, it just mattered that she was doing it!

I try not to think about it too much. I know I'm not with LO 24/7 so there will be things I will miss.

Almost started this exact thread just now, glad I searched first!

Just got an email from my mom that DS took his first step for her today. Cue the tears. Then I pulled up my boot straps and emailed her back telling her that it doesn't count until Mommy sees it herself!

I love being a WOHM but this is probably the worst drawback. Hugs to all you other moms who are missing or may have missed an important milestone!

@2PeasinaPod: Thanks for this! That's definitely a perspective that I am working towards.

As a nanny I usually tell them how hard the baby is working at something, how close they are getting etc and let them be on the look out for the momentous event. They will usually announce it to me shortly after that. Very rarely did I consider something their first with me because I didn't know for sure if they had done it before. Sometimes we would team up to encourage baby to do something and then we were both there to see it. That works well!

@2PeasinaPod: yep. I have accepted that unless I'm with my LO 24/7, I will inevitably miss something whether she's at daycare, with DH, or alone in her crib. It goes both ways, though -- the first time she rolled from tummy to back, I was still on maternity leave and DH was at work so he missed it. I tried to get her to do it again in front of him before I told him about it, but no luck. So I kind of feel like I'm due to miss something myself now...

@2PeasinaPod: yes, exactly this. Unless you are with your kid every moment of every single day, and paying undivided attention to them every single moment, you're going to miss something. It doesn't make it any less sweet the first time YOU see it!!

When I was a nanny I was allowed to tell the dad what their LO did but never the mom. The dad always tried to set up situations so LO's mom could see it & she thought she was the first one to see it. Her mom still has no idea that I was the first one to see her crawl...now with a child of my own, I understand completely!! Ignorance is bliss

ETA: I SAH but I missed the first 3 times my LO rolled from back to belly because I was out of the room or had my back turned. It happens to us all!

I don't know...I guess I'm weird but I don't care. I'm just relieved she's doing these things somewhere. At home, my LO still hates sitting (she'll do it, but she doesn't seem happy). I was secretly worried she has low muscle tone or something, and then day care mentioned she puts herself in a sitting position all the time and I was so happy!

I still haven't seen her do it, but I'm glad she's doing it. I'm not super sentimental over "firsts" though.