DD is 17 months and threw a monster tantrum today. Her worse by far! We took away the iPad to change her diaper and omg she just started throwing herself on the floor kicking, screaming and crying. Usually when she throws tantrums I either distract her with something or just let her cry it out and she gets over it quickly. But today it was super intense and it was at least 10 minutes. I tried to hold her to calm her down but she would just arch her back and scream. I read conflicting things on how to handle tantrums. Some say to ignore and others say NOT to ignore and it's important to show your child you care. How do you deal with monster tantrums?
-
I wish I had advice. I'm reading the happiest toddler on the block and my understanding so far is that they recommend acknowledging the feelings, then suggesting a solution/telling them what's going to happen. They also suggest "toddler-ese" which is basically talking to your toddler like a toddler. The example in the book was like the LO wanted a cookie and the suggested response was "cookie! You want! You want, but nooo, no cookie. Have an apple!"
The book is significantly better at explaining than me!
-
My LO just turned 2, so she's a little older. We have found that sending her to her room to calm down works the best. Your LO may be too young for it yet though.
-
We're at about the same age and our general strategy is to anticipate what might upset him so we can "prep" him, but sometimes F just freaks out. We acknowledge his feelings, try to redirect (offer something else if possible), and mostly just ride it out with him. One of us will offer to hold him or sit nearby while he gets it out and then offer a hug when it's over.
Being a toddler is so hard emotionally. They get all these feelings and don't know what to do with them!
-
Thankfully my LO has not had a major tantrum in a while but when he did I found that he would get even more upset if I tried to walk away from him. While he was tantruming he wouldn't want me to hold him but didn't want me to walk away either. I would let him touch me as he wanted to and let him know that I was there for him. I would ask him what he wanted me to do and I found that worked better for us and ended the tantrum quicker. I think he couldn't express his emotions and needed the support.
-
Honestly, for us it varies by day. Some days it requires me holding and cuddling her to get her to calm down. Some days a sharp word or two is enough. Some days it works better to ignore her and let her work it out. Some times simply distracting her with something is the best way. I think it's important to have several methods of tantrum management in your back pocket.
I always start simply by trying to distract her. Generally, if she wont be distracted I just sit on the floor near her, so that she knows she has the option to come to me and let me calm her down with a cuddle or two. It generally works. She cries for a minute and then crawls into my lap and lets me soothe her. Every once in a while, she tells me flat out to go away, so I leave her to it and let her get it out.
My LO is 2, so what works for us now may not for you because of the age difference. Just putting that out there.
@Applesandbananas: I don't talk baby talk/"toddler-ese" to my DD, but I do try and talk it out with her. Just "I know you want a cookie. I'm sorry, we can't have cookies right now. " etc. I think it does help sometimes, because it helps them feel like they are being heard and understood.
-
@loveisstrange: I loved the concept of acknowledging lo's feelings, that really resonated with me but I'm not sold on the "toddler-ese". I'm trying to follow my gut when it comes to LO but I'm struggling with his mini-tantrums at 14m! He's still easily distracted but I'm trying to get away from distraction, at least a little!
Reply
Subscribe to our newsletter
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
6 comments