Hellobee Boards

Gosh these types of things are SO HARD!

A lot of my friends don't have kids yet... BUT a lot of my friend's freinds have kids and some of them started inviting me to their kid's birthday parties to break the ice I think, then I started inviting them to my kid's birthday parties and so on. Now I'm pretty good friends with all of them.

Maybe you could invite them to something like a fair or party?

I find it's easier in small groups!

At preschool, it was the same 12 moms at pick up and drop off. Over time, three of us became close and it's expected to about six of us.

Just talking, introducing ourselves, and initiating play dates!

I find it pretty easy to chat to other mums at playgroups but never really initiate play dates or take it further than "see you next week". Do you want to just chat to her at church or be friends outside? I usually start by asking about their LO and conversation usually flows from there, especially if they're at a similar age because they usually face similar challenges so we can laugh about them throwing food around the house or commiserate about sleep, etc. If I want to see them outside of that though, I usually have to just be really brave and suggest a play date, usually meeting at a park or somewhere neutral. I find mums easy it chat to casually, but not necessarily to build lasting friendships with.

I have a group of about 7 moms and 1 dad that I meet up with regularly and most of us met randomly. My friends joke that I am the recruiter/social director that brings in new members. DH jokes that I'm trying to date every mom in town.

I just talk to everybody I meet that has a kid around my LO's age. Usually we talk about how old the kids are and how things are going.. And we almost always end up talking about activities we like to do with our kids. I also like to talk about great places to eat in the area or great parks for little kids. Then when it's time for one of us to leave I end up saying something like "I'd love to give you my number or get yours and I'll let you know the next time we're headed to X (zoo, park, play gym, story time, etc)". I've exchanged numbers with so many people and sometimes you hit it off and after meeting up a few times it becomes routine to just invite them to outings. Some people I don't necessarily click with right away and won't exchange numbers or call to follow up until I've run into them a few more times. I would say most everyone I talk to is open and friendly and want to form friendships with other parents. Some may have busier schedules that make it hard to meet up but if you enjoy spending time with them and their kid it is possible to form a solid friendship. Several friends I met at swimming are WOHM but we text and meet up when they have a day at home. I would say don't be afraid to put yourself out there and be as welcoming as you would want someone to be towards you

A friend of mine she is awesome at this. She has already exchanged numbers with a few of our daycare's parents! What she does is, she simply walk up to them and say, hey do you want to do a play date some time? Let's exchange phone numbers and we should do something together ? And it works! Of course she only does this to her son's friends' parents. Personally I would gladly exchange numbers with my son's friends' parents because I am dying to know more mothers!

There is one case though, which cracked me up - she ran into another family in the zoo for 2 times (again we all go to the same daycare together). Her son and their son (both 2 years) know each other via daycare since 4 months, and our daycare is pretty well known and established so most parents are professionals (ie. so you kinda know it is very unlikely you'd be exchanging numbers with criminals or the likes that's what I am saying). After a bit of chatting she says, hey, great minds think alike (ie running into each other in the zoo for 2 times), do you want to exchange numbers and we'll do something together in the future? These parents completely got awkward, ignored her, and said a few things and said bye. So there are people who are a bit more reserved, but doesn't hurt to ask.... only if I had her gut I would ask everyone

I've found you just have to put yourself out there and make the first move. I met a really great mom friend at My Gym. We started out chatting and talking about our LO's. Then I just went out on a limb and asked her if she was interested at doing a park play date. She said yes, and we exchanged numbers and met up later that week. We hit if off really well and now text all the time and hang out at least once a week.

@irene: lol that's funny about your friend! Soooo awkward. I was at My Gym class and a mom was telling me how she was looking for other kids close to her LO's age for her to hang out with. I thought maybe she was hinting at something, so I told her that another mom in the class and I meet at the park frequently and that she should join us some time. She ignored me and walked away shortly after. .... I felt awkward but oh well!

I initiate, lol. I am not shy and I find that most people are open to it..except in Europe. This is not cool behavior with the locals.

@looch: It's seen as a bit weird here in the UK - but if you have an American/Canadian/Australian accent, we will probably just accept that you don't understand "our ways" and let you off for being "over-friendly"

That said, if the person is at your church, you're basically friends anyway, right? I mean, how big IS your church? (we struggle to fill the seats over here). Just march up to her and act like you're already friends - that's what I'd do!

There are a few moms who have returned my friendly chit chat on a few occasions, but there are several who were (and still are!) completely rude to me. Honestly, I think it's due to their social awkwardness, and not mine . . . and that I may be interpreting their behavior as rude when it's really just socially awkward penguin type stuff! I'm certainly no *Neal Caffery*, but I will always make the effort to say hello and to learn someone's name (I know all of LO's daycare classmates' names, that's for sure . . . 4-5 of them always swarm me when I arrive to pick my little lady up!). But I don't let that stop me. I just try to remember that most people aren't super outgoing, so I try to make an effort because you never know how it's going to turn out!

I am friendly with a couple of neighbors and a couple of colleagues at work (who have littles around the same age), and thanks to HB, I also have two local mom friends as well. So, I feel really lucky in that regard. BUT, it is hard to find time to get together often . . . everyone is trying to carve out family time, couple time, etc.