Hellobee Boards

We made it so we don't have multiple on one day now.

I am not having R spend her Christmas in the car for 4-5 hours to go see the IL's. So we are going to see them the weekend before or after Christmas each year. They aren't happy but whatever, DH and I both think it is better.

My husband works in healthcare and oftentimes has to work on holidays. Every year (even before we started dating) he requests Thanksgiving off specifically to cook for his extended family. (If he doesn't cook, they don't eat...which is a whole other issue.) Because he would always get Thanksgiving off, he usually has to work Christmas Day.

Since we've been together, we've spent Thanksgiving with his family and usually tried to do a belated Thanksgiving with my family a few days later. He's had to work each Christmas which means I spend the day with my family and without him. We're currently TTC and I'm hoping we can figure out a compromise before we have kids. Luckily our families are relatively close distance-wise and we could "split" the holiday if necessary but I know it''s not ideal or easy to do.

Due to geography, we are either at home or at my inlaws, so we don't have to split the days. If we did though, I would offer to host as much as possible and if I could, I'd have both sides of the family over to my house, is that a possibility for you?

@Bao: haha, i get it, I really do. It's not easy to mix families, but it always bugs me a lot when the older generation won't be flexibile.

We are the same with you for christmas. Each family has their slot.

For thanksgiving, my mom hosts dinner for us and my inlaws, including dh's brother and fsil. It works out great for everyone.

Thanksgiving we skip my side and go to DH's dad's side. However, that's because we skip his dad's side on Christmas and only go to my side. We used to squeeze in both but it was so much time in the car and LO was crabby about leaving each place, so we decided it's only a month apart, we will just do one on one day and one on the other.

Our parents live 5 minutes away from each other, but an hour away from us. We generally see both families on the same day for each holiday, unless they are hosting it out of town in which case it's whoever plans/invites us first, wins

Even with them living so close it always feels rushed and stressful trying to see everyone and enjoy the day. I'm really looking forward to my parents moving closer to us so that we will be forced to plan things out a little better.

We spend Easter with my family, and Thanksgiving with DH.

For Christmas we tell everyone they can come to our house but we are not leaving until 5 pm on Christmas Day, we spend Christmas Day Evening with DH family and then travel 6 hours the weekend before or after to see my family. When DH and I were dating we did Christmas Eve with my family and Christmas Day Evening with his but driving 6 hours sucks as an adult I wasn't going to make my child do it. My family is still not ok with us missing the actual holidays but oh well, such is life.

We don't celebrate Thanksgiving, but we alternate between DH's family and mine at Christmas...7 years in and it's going fine

We always go to my parents for Thanksgiving with about 30-35 relatives. Last year MIL came to Thanksgiving at my parents house and caused way too much drama. Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief when she announced that this year she'll be going elsewhere for Thanksgiving. So we may have to have a quick visit with her at some point. Luckily both sets of parents live in the same town so we won't have to drive all over.

Christmas is way busier with a bit more traveling. We have MIL come to our house for a visit/gift exchange on Christmas Eve. Later that evening we have Christmas Eve mass at my uncle's parish about 40 minutes away where he is a priest, then an hour drive to my aunt's house at night after mass for a late dinner with maternal relatives. Then Christmas morning at my parents house with my siblings, then Christmas day/dinner at my grandparents house with paternal relatives in the next town.

It's exhausting. We didn't go to my aunt's last year and she was so mad. Oh well, LO1 was a newborn and we weren't going, period. We may have to adjust our plans next year with 2 LO's, we'll see.

Christmas Eve has always been with in laws, as they throw a huge party. Christmas day, then, is always with my side. We usually alternate Thanksgiving, and then see the other family the weekend after for desserts.

Seems like I'm an outlier here. Last Christmas, our first with LOs, we told our families we wanted to spend our first Christmas with the boys in our own house. So they came to us. FIL and SMIL came for Christmas Eve and stayed til Christmas morning. Then my family came in the afternoon.

This year, MIL is visiting for the week of Christmas (she lives out of state), so my family will visit on Christmas Day while she's here. FIL and SMIL will not be visiting.

We typically do thanksgiving with my family since FIL and SMIL don't really celebrate it. Otherwise we fly to visit MIL.