I feel like my life is chaos every. single. day. I realize that all mothers feel this way and understand that perception and attitude have a lot to do with how you handle daily life as a mom/wife/employee/person, and I feel like I'm failing! Im a do-er and now that I can only manage to get 5% of my to do list done each day, i feel exhausted and anxious all the time. How do you manage the constant chaos?? I really want to work on this!
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By keeping my expectations realistic and my goals fluid . . . 5% sounds like a pretty successful day to me!
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I agree with having realistic expectations and staying flexible with my day and try to have as much fun as possible each day that I am lucky enough to spend with my little guy. No way am I going to be as efficient as I was pre-kids, but I do have way more fun these days.
One thing we do is use our gym childcare- either to let myself finish up a work project, get some "me" time, or have my husband take him with him when he works out so I can get a few things done quickly.
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I am a big schedule and routine person, and Wagon Sr. is excellent about sticking to the routine and our kids respond well to them as well, so that really helps.
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I definitely need to work on keeping my goals fluid! I'm always making to do lists and never completing them according to the time I give myself, which makes me feel like I'm always failing. I guess I just struggle with realistic expectations - I have no idea what is realistic now! Hahaha. Thanks everyone!
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Wine. And working out. And trying to laugh a lot
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I'd say realistic goals and taking a few small goals at a time. Don't beat yourself up over not getting everything done. Motherhood has taught me to stay organized and manage my time better. I can get a lot done in shorter time with managing tasks.
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I plan to get things done on the weekends, when Dh is around to watch LO for a bit.
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@winniebee: LOL that's exactly what I was going to say!
It took me a long time to realize that I'm not, not doing things. I'm actually accomplishing a lot. I had to switch my mindset to see what I was doing, and realizing that my goals were shifted.
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@Dagny: I'm a list maker too! I have the normal list which includes things like dishes and laundry that we really need. Then I have my long term list with things I'd like to get done, organize the hall closet for example. If I can do my regular list and maybe one thing off the long term list it's been a good day. If I don't get to the lt list I try to give myself grace. Do the important stuff first and cut some slack! With motherhood, everyday is unpredictable. Good luck.
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@winniebee: yep!
I used to kind of just do things and now I plan to, even if it's the dishes, laundry, cleaning. I plan these things out and commit to it. And definitely take it one task at a time.
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Realistic goals. DD was born 13 days ago but I learned with DS that you just have to let things go. I am also a do it now kind of person and with DS, I tried to do all the normal things like clean, cook, errands, etc., and became totally stressed that I couldn't get anything done. Now that I have another new baby, I'm soaking up as much rest and relaxation as I can for now. My current goal is to get out if the house at least once a day and I am succeeding at that. The time goes by so fast when the LOs are tiny and I don't want to spend this time being stressed that I'm not getting X done. One thing we do have now that we didn't before is a cleaning lady who comes once per week. She is amazing and totally worth it and I don't get that creeping feeling that I need to clean something before I go crazy.
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Embrace it, honestly. Let go when you don't get things done. Realize that some days, you won't be productive, and that's ok!
My give a shit meter dropped pretty low
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@blackbird: Yes! My GAS meter has not been pegged out in quite some time!
@Dagny: I try to remember when making lists to always include *watching/feeding/playing with LO* and/or *work* because I think it's too easy to not include what we normally do during the day as part of our accomplishments . . . When I get LO to daycare and myself to work (usually no later than 8 a.m., even though I have not set arrival time), I feel like I have already accomplished something! Same goes for a successful day of playing with/taking care of LO . . . if I do just that, I consider it a success! Anything after that is just icing on the cake!
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Managing expectations and remembering that these early years are just a phase helps me. In a few short years our kids will be much more self-sufficient, and I know I'll be sad that they won't need me as much
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Good question! I'm having trouble getting anything done!
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We have two family policies that are working for us. First, we only commit to one event per day with LO. Playdate, party, appointment OR errands. Second, the person watching LO is not expected to accomplish anything else. It just doesn't happen so DH and I released each other of the expectation. It relieves the "I really thought you could have done the dishes/laundry/etc." Good for you if you get anything done. Obviously there's a lot to get done after bedtime before we can crash but it's working for us.
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I've gone the other way to the posters above. I have created a series of routines around me, slotting jobs - like emptying the dishasher etc - into tiny slots of time. For example, DH baths LO every night and I spend that time putting laundry away. I let clean laundry pile up as I do it bit by bit during the day knowing that I will put it away at 6.30pm.
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Thank you all! So many helpful ideas and thoughts
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Your Lo is still really little, right?
This post made the internet rounds a while ago and I try to embrace it:
http://mamaseeds.com/blog/baby-sleep-training/new-mamas-get-nothing-done-and-other-untruths/I try to make a list a prioritize what I want to get done at nap time- usually the first two items are shower, eat. While she is awake now at 4.5 months I can get other stuff done but I still try to spend way more time with her, less getting stuff done.
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19 comments