Hellobee Boards

I would say, "You're being rude. Is Olivia rude? No, Olivia is sweet. Next time you say something rude like that, I'll have to take away X/you'll go to your room/other consequence here."

She sounds like a sassy little thing.

I usually just ignore, or say, I knownyoure upset but we don't talk like that. You can tell me that you're sad/mad/etc.
I try not to give the words too muchc power/reaction!

@sorrycharlie: Olivia and Emme could be the same person! Emme is super defiant right now and anytime I tell her something I get "you've got to be kidding me" or "I don't think that's a good idea" or a flat out "momma I'm gonna freak out." I just try to be very clear that "mom and dad are the boss and you do what they say." She also could carelss about timeout, it works better now that we do it on the stairs instead of her room (toys) but she still is defiant. threeager for sure!

@sorrycharlie: I'd look into some RIE philosophy. It encourages respectful communication. Our LO can't even talk in full sentences yet, but she's very stubborn at times. It's taken me to learn that I need to pause, think about what she's really upset about (or asking for), and then explain why x is not okay ... or what we CAN do ... or how she CAN talk to me to get what she wants.

This article is really helpful!!

http://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/03/sassy-bossy-back-talk/

@regberadaisy: If you've never heard any RIE philosophy, I guess that might seem pretty different. I don't conform to any parenting style either. Diehard RIE parents don't use pacifiers or baby carriers -- two things that I probably use too much.

I do appreciate the RIE perspective on communication.

I ignore the RIE jargon (enlightenment, etc.), and see this: "The back-talk is getting a rise out of you. The solution is simple: deactivate this button so the behavior loses its power."

These responses:

“Well, I guess we disagree on that one.”

“Hmm… Thank you for your opinion.”

“Interesting!”

I dig it.

I pour another glass of wine........