How the heck do you divide holidays without getting parents (ours parents, kiddos grandparents) upset?

Our parents live very close to each other in the same town. DH and I went to the same high school. Pre kids and when we had just dd1, we would spend all holidays at both places- 2 Easters, 2 Fourth of July parties, 2 thanksgivings, and 2 places on both Christmas Eve and Christmas. It was truly exhausting. Last year I hosted all major holidays since I was pregnant and then had an infant over the winter. It was just easier not to drag my children around but it was still too much. This year I want to start splitting up holidays. I decided to spend Easter with the ILs, Thanksgiving with my family, Christmas at home by ourselves with extended family invited over for late lunch. ILs are upset that they don't get to see the kids for thanksgiving or Christmas morning.

What does everyone else do?