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We didn't have the conversation before we got married and had kids, but it's still worked out pretty well for us. My husband grew up with a SAHM and working dad, so his mom did all the cooking, cleaning, etc. My mom worked BUT my dad traveled a lot for work (commercial airline pilot), so she still did the majority of the at home stuff and house work was split on more traditional lines--my mom cleaned and cooked, my dad did yard work and maintenance.

However, when my dad WAS home, he was known for making us all breakfast, or making special things for dinner.

Anyway, my husband and I have made our own parenting split. We live in a condo, so there is no outside work. We split inside house work and parenting tasks very evenly. We both work full time outside the home.

The one improvement I wish we could make is having house cleaners, but since we have already "splurged" on a nanny right now, that's not in our budget.

We didn't really talk about it ahead of time. But we already had the kind of relationship where responsibilities were split. For example, we always had the deal that whoever cooks doesn't have to clean up.

Most of the time I think we have a pretty 50/50 split. I'm pregnant and struggling a bit, so DH has definitely taken on more. When the baby's born though, I fully expect for things to be very even, with me taking on the majority of stuff with the baby, leaving DH to deal with the toddler. But to me the biggest key to everything working is we don't keep track or nickel and dime each other. And if something doesn't get done (like dishes) I just let it go. It's not worth getting upset over, and it eventually does get done.

We have always clearly discussed household tasks at every new season or juncture or busy period during our marriage and it's helped to avoid a lot of stress. After 5 years of marriage we finally got a housecleaner and a Roomba which has helped take several tasks off both our plates, with a toddler and new baby coming this weekend.

DH has always taken bedtime and getting up first thing in the morning with DS. As DS has gotten older that has meant pretty much the entire period after dinner and bedtime - playing, bath, etc. I usually join for pre-bedtime snuggles but otherwise I'm usually taking that time to clean up after dinner, set up for the next day (coffee, daycare bags, moving laundry, etc.). DH also gets DS in the mornings and gets him changed and dressed while I make breakfast or take 10 minutes to wake up and play with my phone. DH does 60-70% of daycare pick up and drop off. We also tag team parent together on the weekends.

I'm not sure how everything will work with the new baby but I'm having a CSection so he will be on toddler duty and probably handle the late evening feeding and early morning feeding and any bottle/pump part washing like with DS1. I will be on newborn duty for the most part.

We didn't really discuss this, but we are 50/50 as we both work. I'm still mostly the default parent but I delegate tasks to him when I'm overwhelmed.

we never talked about it but that's because with my husband's personality I knew that we didn't really have to. He's naturally very willing and interested in helping and being part of our team so I never really worried about him not pitching in enough. He's a very hands on dad and has been involved in every aspect of raising DD.