I know this is a challenge many of us face anyway but was wondering how you're all taking time off right now, if you are, especially if you're working and parenting at the same time. This was spurred because my boss keeps encouraging me to take some time off work and I just can't figure out how to really do this. I lead multiple teams who are at the front lines right now so work is crazy busy for me and it would just pile up into the next day if I simply sign off email for the day, which means I'm then spending less time with my kid, which I'm struggling to do anyway. And my typical time off approaches in "normal" times are to take a day when my daughter is in school and go somewhere by myself or with DH - see a movie, wander around a downtown area, have lunch and read. Literally all things I can't do right now lol So "time off" would basically just be not checking email, which just would mean parenting 100% of the day, which is fine but it's hardly time off. So wondering if anyone has cracked this nut somehow (or just commiseration - I see you!)
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Employees at my level were asked to take several days of time off during the pandemic so while my workload can handle it, I feel you about it not really being “time off” Since the kids are home too.
I’ve been trying to make the random days off feel like a Saturday at home. Nothing that special, but still enjoyable and a deliberately more relaxed pace. Ordering delivery for lunch is nice when we do that too. Also, I’ve been using the time to try and get the yard cleaned up which has been nice since we spend more time than ever out there. It’s not what I would take PTO to do in the past, but that stuff isn’t an option anyway.
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My employer is encouraging the same. DH and I will probably do a local hike/picnic and if he can’t come I’ll do it alone and bring a book. Can you do something like that? I know that doesn’t solve the being too busy issue though!
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@JJ2626: we could but it doesn’t solve the kid issue lol I love my kid but 100% parenting is definitely not time off for me.
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@Mrs. Carrot: Yeah totally. We are super fortunate to have childcare now. Does LO still nap? Or can you put her in front of a movie with your husband and at least go out for a few hours? Ha i know it’s not the same!!
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I have no advice, just....me too. I’d love to take a day off but if I’m not upstairs in the office working I’m with the kids, so...no help. Actually by the end of the weekend I’m usually ready to go back to work to get “time off” from parenting. A time when I wasn’t doing one or the other seems like so so long ago.
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@Mrs. Carrot: go take a half day and go for a drive or a hike or to a beach or wherever—by yourself! It sounds so nice. And then give your husband a half day to do the same.
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Maybe pick up a treat for yourself and some local friends or family and surprise them with contactless deliveries. Not really a vacation for you but might fill your cup a little to bring other people some joy.
DH did take a week vacation to watch the kids during Spring Break. I don't know what possessed him to do it and I thought he would crack after a day but he really seemed to enjoy being able to focus on them and have a break from competing priorities. I have not done the same. I'm telling him it's because work is busier than normal but it just doesn't sound appealing.
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This is ridiculous but I got semi lost the other day driving home from a contact free pick up of a business I hadn’t ever gone to and ended up going a longer way home than usual...it was so nice to go for a drive for 30 minutes! So that’s what I would do likely: take a drive somewhere and listen to a podcast or music, probably get food or drink take out on the way.
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@Mrs. Carrot: I took yesterday off. I have a million things to do at work but I needed the break. I helped my husband with prep for some home repairs we have going on and then watched a movie with my 8 year old in the middle of the day. Then we swam and baked and watched another movie. Nothing earth shattering but being able to just hang out and be present vs trying to juggle our family needs and work needs at the same time was a mental break.
I did send like 3 emails first thing in the morning and set my out of office and then I have not touched work stuff so it was a real clear boundary for me. I am a manager so I am sure there will be catch up stuff next week but it still feels good today!
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@Mrs. Carrot: Are you inside my head? I literally just read your message out loud and it sounded like ME talking to my spouse!! We have had this exact same convo. She says, so if you’re that stressed, put up an OOO and don’t respond for a day. And I’m like, to what end?? Pissing people off at work, double hours to bill the next day, and ZERO time to myself anyway because I’m still watching a very intense four year old who just dropped naps all day long? There is no time for rest or recharging whether or not I’m “off” work. So sorry that doesn’t sound like a bargain.
ETA: My office is the opposite of encouraging about this so there’s that subtle pressure too. In fact the CEO emailed everyone the other day stating that we don’t want to end up “on his list” for not recording our billable hours every single day. It’s an impossible situation to be in and not sustainable. I have a lot of resentment. Sorry for the rant and for taking over your thread
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I’ve been dying to take a day off but I need a day to be by myself. If I take a day off it will still be just me at home with the two kiddos. And not much is really open here yet so we’d just have to stay home. If I’m going to take a day and spend with my kids I want to be able to go somewhere fun.
I try to be the one to get groceries just to get an hour to myself.
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@wrkbrk: ugh, I'm sorry about your management, that's awful. "His list"? What BS. I hope you find a way to get away. To his credit, my husband shoved me out of the house last week and forced me to go for a drive by myself (I hadn't driven since the shutdown started because he has insisted on being the one out of the house in case of exposure). I probably should do more of that to get some time away.
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@erinbaderin: ditto. Honestly the weekdays feel easier in some ways because at least I can break up the day between doing work, doing kid stuff, working and playing with her. On weekends it can feel like a real slog with nowhere to go and I end up finding things to do because nonstop Barbies is just not my jam for long.
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@Anagram: this is what I've been thinking but my biggest concern (what a world we live in!) is having to stop for a bathroom break. Where to do so, would it be safe to do, etc. It's honestly been my biggest concern with leaving the house, with or without kiddo. Her birthday is coming up and I want to take her strawberry picking and am seriously losing it over bathroom breaks.
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@MamaCate: I'm glad to hear that! I'm taking the day off the week after next for kiddo's birthday and am going to see how that goes and whether it feels like "off."
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I try to think of things to do with my kids that are enjoyable to me too - baking cookies or banana bread, going on a walk or bike ride, reading books. I'll garden while they just play outside or do an organization or house project while they play (my kids are 5 and 3). I have been taking walks by myself when my husband can watch the kids and listening to podcasts. There's not really any "time off" in the pandemic for those of us with little kids so I think it's just adjusting and making the best of the situation.
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@Mrs. Carrot: we’ve been on a lot of 4-5 hour hikes and I’m the only person that’s ever had to pee and I walked way off trail and just did it in the woods.
But we have a long drive coming up and I bought the potette travel potty with the liners and we are going to use that In a secluded area rather than use gas station bathrooms. If it were just me, I’d mask up, not touch anything, and wash my hands/sanitize thoroughly, and use the public restroom anyway. But taking my kids where they are 2 to my 1 makes it harder because I can’t guarantee they won’t touch a wall or a door and then touch their own face while I’m supervising the other kid or something. But just me? I’d take precautions and just go.
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I’ve taken one day of PTO and have another coming soon. I took time to do things at a slower pace. I got take out for me and the kids. We ate outside and spent the afternoon in the pool. Even though the water was too cool for me, I put my feet in and just paused. Getting outside and away from the computer was enough.
I don’t get time completely alone which is what I need, but I’m hoping soon things will feel safer and I will make a day of pampering.
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Parenting when we are out and doing things together always feels less stressful to me so I would take my kids out hiking or biking. We're a pretty active family and the days we are out are definitely the ones were the stresses are less - like they listen, they don't moan and mope etc.
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Our company is encouraging people to take time off now too but I totally feel you on how my workload hasn't slowed down at all. I know HR is worried about either the entire company trying to take off a ton of time at year end (if things open up) or people getting super mad about only being able to roll over 3 days to 2021 per our policy bc things are so busy.
I've taken a day or two and try to time it on a day when I don't have a lot of meetings and the weather looks good. As others have said, if I'm just able to hang with the kids and not have the added stress of work, it's a lot easier. But I have a lot of time to use in the next 7 months and not sure how I'm going to do it.
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