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Thanks for sharing that. I feel like I just got to know you a little better

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@bluestriped bee: agreed! Thanks for sharing. It takes a lot to admit personal struggles.

I've been through a lot, my childhood was a hot mess. I don't let it affect me negatively though, I draw on those experiences and look how I can improve my future (and thus j's future) by not repeating the issues from my family. There was severe drug and alcohol abuse, physical and emotional abuse, divorce, honestly neglect, etc. I was often an after thought, my mom was hospitalized for severe depression, my dad went to rehab multiple times, etc. then they divorced, dad got clean, mom moved away to change her life...things eventually improved. I'm very independent and type-a because of it. Started working at 13 cleaning cabins at a campground to buy shampoo...socks...underwear. Things my parents didn't think about. College was on my dime, wedding, cars, anything that wasn't essential (food...?).

I must say though, I now have an unbelievable relationship with my dad and my mom and I improve daily. I forget how bad things were a lot because I refuse to focus on the past. Yet here I am rehashing it all

@LittleFox: I love how you put that!

Hmmmmmm.. there are definitely those who have had it worse (my own mom grew up in a physically & sexually abusive home) but because of my own parents upbringing our home definitely wasn't an environment to flourish. My parents marriage was never all that great (mom battled depression & my dad was addicted to pornography) but things were never abusive (they ultimately divorced after 18 years of marriage when I was 16).

Personally, I battled severe depression as a teen (15) where I spent 5 months in bed & then suffered severe anxiety attacks for years following that. I had a HORRENDOUS high school experience where I was bullied (emotionally, verbally, and mentally) after I told the QB that I was NOT going to do with him what he wanted to do... I honestly couldn't even walk down the halls without literally everyone splitting the halls & talking about things they'd heard I did (I was a virgin). I ultimately quit school as a junior & then entered an abusive relationship with an alcoholic addict who DJ'd (I didn't know he had an alcohol problem until we had already been together a year & he turned 21 & then spent the next year wasted). 2 1/2 years into the relationship I got pregnant (I quit using & drinking) and then it took another 2 1/2 to get out of the then marriage..... This was even after my ex got us (G & I) evicted from our apt b/c he broke into the apt clubhouse (while he was wasted). Yea... the 5 years I was with G's dad I really lived a life that is almost unbelievable.

After leaving him though life became amazing & a few years later I met DH, got married, and now have P & another sibling for G on the way. Usually, I just tell people I have a "colorful" past. lol

ETA: I almost forgot... After having G while I was still with his Dad my thyroid went crazy & it almost killed me. I ultimately had to have it removed when G was 8 months cause they couldn't get me stable with meds.

@sera_87: I should've OD'd countless times (never shot up, did heroine, or did crack... Only bc we had friends that did & it scared me). Glad you're clean & life is better!

In some ways, yes, for sure.

But my parents are still together, I have my dream job that makes me feel fulfilled, I've never had to go through a breakup (married my first love), and we got pregnant on our second cycle trying and had a beautiful and healthy baby girl.

For those four things I feel incredibly blessed, and they sort of outweigh the hardships.

Yes and no.

I grew up in an amazing home with loving parents. We were middle class and although some things could have been better, I can't complain.

It took a turn when I was 14 - something awful happened. It really changed who I was as a person, I guess I can say it because it's pretty clear without even typing... I was raped. I was severely depressed and too embarrassed to tell my parents. Life didn't go as I had planned even though I tried REALLY hard. I was suffering with PTSD. I dreaded every day of high school then finally, took college courses so I didn't have to be on the high school campus. I worked 30 hour weeks at 16 just to fill my time. I met DH who oddly, I was head over heels for even though every guy seemed untrusting at the time. I graduated while pregnant. I always looked at girls who were young and pregnant with disbelief that they could be so careless. I wasn't careless. I was on birth control. Luckily, I really loved B's dad and I knew I wanted to marry him. Ever since, life hasn't been that hard. DH got an incredible job the same week that we found out I was pregnant. It could have been much worse but I continued with my education. I like to think that I'm a compassionate person and that maybe being a young mom was just my calling. I put the painful past away. Our main goal is to be great parents, even if we are only 22 and 24.

Looking back, there were rough spots. My parents lost two houses, they split up of awhile when I was nine but got back together. We always had food on the table and a roof over our heads, but now I realize that they went without so that my sister and I would have what we wanted/needed. High school was awful, I was bullied for my looks/teeth and still deal with low self esteem. I married a wonderful man, and for the first three years we didn't have very much money at all, and both our parents helped when they could, and somehow we were able to repay them. Now we own a house and have a baby on the way, things that I wasn't sure would ever happen three years ago when we had $200 between the two of us and no idea how we would make it to the next payday.

I'm glad there were hard times because it makes me see and appreciate the blessings in my life.

I had quite a bit of struggles but looking back now, they were my own fault. I had parents who bent over backwards to give us everything and then some. We went on fancy vacations, had everything handed to us on a silver platter. The first time I ever did dishes was when I was 16 and work made me do them lol! My parents still are very financially supportive and I am so thankful for them.

I had severe depression and bulimia issues though. I had to see therapists and take handfuls of medicine from 8th grade on. I tried to commit suicide and experimented heavily with drugs and alcohol at a very young age. So all of my problems were my own.

@HLK208: Wow, thanks for sharing your story!! You are such an inspiration. My cousin went through something similar and I am amazed at how people who have been through what you've been through can have such a positive outlook on life after such a horrific event. I wish you all the best in the world!!

My family was definitely lower middle class. My parents are not the best pair, even though they have been married since '75. I grew up around a LOT of fighting, mostly about money. We never didn't have anything we needed but we rarely got things we didn't, which I guess I can't complain too much about.

The neighborhood we lived in was a primarily minority neighborhood and what, I guess, can be considered "the wrong side of the tracks". I grew up with racial slurs and discrimination daily. I think a lot of people will find it interesting to hear a white girl say that.

Me dad grew up with 2 abusive alcoholics, so he had a very... hands on approach to parenting. We lived in fear of being back-handed. He was verbally and emotionally abusive more than physically, thank god. Although there is nothing like having your own father tell you you're stupid and look like a slut.

I have struggled with anxiety and depression since puberty. My teen years were pretty bleak and I harbored suicidal thoughts for a few years, although I was too chicken to actually do it. My parents never acknowledged there was anything wrong with me (I was a "drama queen") until I had an emotional breakdown at school when I was 17 and they were forced to seek professional help for me. Things improved after that.

I would say I had it worse than some but better than a lot. It could have been much, much worse.

The only struggle that I've had is purely financial. My parents were horrible with money and they had too many children for their financial resources. Several times while we were growing up, we were evicted from our housing situation and even though we had a place to go, it was always incredibly embarrassing to go through that. Our cars would be repossessed as well until my dad would make a payment. We would have days where we didn't have enough money to go grocery shopping so we would eat whatever we could find in the house. My father had trouble keeping a job. I was lucky enough to be able to go to college but the financial burden was completely on me and to this day, I have those student loans hanging over my head. But I was safe and happy as a child and I was lucky that money was the only problem that we had. So I really can't say that I have struggled as much as many of you have.

Yes and no.

Yes, my childhood was pretty rough. Adulthood has been even more rough for me though (in relation to my family issues). BUT I have always, always treated my hardships as a challenge to better myself - so that my children never have to go through what I have! @littlebit hits the nail on the head - I never let it define me.

Plus, it's all relative. Every time I get a little sad and start to feel sorry for myself, I look around. There are people in the world dealing with much more unfortunate circumstances than I could ever imagine, so I'm grateful for what I do have!

ETA - thanks everyone for sharing your story!

Hard enough, but not forced-to-be-a-child-soldier hard. I was an isolated homeschooler for all if my childhood, even moreso during my teens. I had 2 friends, sisters, that I saw maybe once a month and my folks got huffy if we talked on the phone more often than once every 2 weeks. I stayed home and worked, was the second mother to the younger of my 9 siblings, did a lot of backbreaking work for very little pay on the farm. I was one of the kids, there was very little individuality. We had food and a roof over our heads, but no privacy, no individual needs, no individual friends, etc.
Of course, my dad was abusive in every way a person can be abusive- mentally, verbally, physically, sexually, spiritually. My mom was a victim as well, but she and their religion totally enabled him.
I "ran away" when I was 17 to live with my grandparents in another state and it was only the beginning of my healing. I was blessed to meet my sweet husband shortly thereafter and we started dating when I was 18, were married when I was 19, and had our first kid when I was 20. Yeah, probably not the most recommended course of action for a kid with that kind of history, but I don't regret it; I wouldn't be the person I am today without having made those decisions. And that was the way I was raised to do things (marry young, pop out the babies) and I was desperately looking to establish some normalcy in my life, but I wouldn't have realized how much healing I have to do without having had my kids. I'm 25 now and I'm miles ahead of where I once was. I've gotten help for my issues. I didn't realize just how depressed I'd been for YEARS, definitely since my early teens, until suddenly I wasn't anymore after a big dietary change. Now my life is pretty good and expect it to get better. Even though I had NO skills for finding a good life partner, I blessed to find him anyways and we're pretty happy together with our kids and our life. We don't have a lot of money, but we make do.
I still struggle socially a lot, have some social anxiety that flares up once and awhile, but overall I can handle myself a lot better than I used to. I'm gradually learning how to make friends, but it's hard when literally the only shared experiences you have with other people is pregnancy, motherhood, marriage, etc. I just smile and nod when people talk about high school or college or partying or pop culture references.

Wow, thanks everyone for opening up. It takes a lot to be able to share some of these stories

My childhood was ok. My parents divorced and my mom left with my dads brother when I was 3. She has always been apart of my life but she missed a lot of important events. I grew up with my dad and my brother. We were quite low income but I always had everything I needed. The hardest part was being a teenager and not having my mom close by. Because of that, I dressed like a boy and basically acted like one. I still get a little angry with my mom about it because I really had to learn everything about becoming a woman on my own. I try to look ack and see how it has benefited me. I also never had any help with university, buying a vehicle or anything like that.

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@bluestriped bee: thanks for this thread. I am reviving it because I could really use some venting

I have had a challenging life. My mum had an affair when I was 6 and took us from my dad overnight. I had no idea what was going on. All of a sudden she was married to someone else and he and she were really abusive. We left a life surrounded by family and good things and were moved across the state. My dad got really depressed. My mom ignored me and she and her new husband did drugs and had sex while I wandered around the neighborhood. I remember crying at school and the teacher made me stand in front of everyone and called me a crybaby. My mom shook me at home and told me I needed to stop crying because "they think something is wrong." I now assume she was worried about people at school suspecting domestic violence (which was prevalent)- at the time however, she made it sound as though "they" (the people at school?) thought something was wrong with me- when really my crying was totally natural. She told me things like, "if I had god in my heart I wouldn't cry."
When my stepdad committed suicide mum immediately married again and had a baby. They built a house without a room for me in the backyard and made me watch the baby. Super weird. I think perhaps the hardest part has been dealing with my mom's emotional abuse.
Mum followed me out west so I moved back to my home state. My dad, who lived nearby in my home state just committed suicide.
Anyhow, DH and I are doing the best we can- I am going to go to counseling and graduate school and he is taking prereqs for dental. LO is awesome and is doing awesome so I am happy and proud about that. In some ways I feel grateful for being challenged- I do believe what doesn't kill you makes you strong. I have done a lot despite everything.

@Greentea: oh lady Sending you strength, grace, and lots of