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@Greentea: Sending you warm thoughts, virtual hugs, and love. I am so sorry about your dad's passing and have thought of you many times in recent weeks. I hope you find healing and your happy place again no matter how long it takes.

I know this post is old and all but I'all just leave my comment anyway.

Life has put a lot of weight on me aswell, my Father was very abusive and kept me inside in the house most of my life, I did go to school but wasn't really allowed to go out more than that.
He hit me almost everyday, and for the dumbest reasons, It was really bad, so at the age of 14 I ran away, and I got help from the community which is my small "state" here where I live in Europe.
They let me live in a home with some nice people and other teens that lived there for their different reasons, and they let me go to school and live normally, but during the first week shit went south just like I expected, my father came after me plenty of times, and since I lived only 20 minutes away from him it wasn't too hard, I lived in that place for 9 months and it was constant fear of being caught by my father, and I saw him many times waiting and looking for me.
So the community moved me about 1 hour away but it was in foster care, something I never wanted because I never felt like I fitted in, I always felt alone and told myself I never needed a family because the way the old one treated me, no-body in my family stood up for me neither, so I ran away from the foster care a month in, but I was never a bad kid so if the community called I would answer and talk, I was very grown up for a 15 year old, so they moved me again, and I ended up on the other side of my VERY small country, and I have been living here for 3 years, working hard, failing school twice, but this time I am very good at school, I mean I have been there everyday and do every home work and assignments, so I will not fail this time.

Anyway, the community left me after I got 18, turns out I was making them plenty money when I was a minor but not now so they have no need for me, and shit was corrupt and I got tossed on the sidewalk, now I work hard at a fast food chain and I'm really depressed, I plan on starting a little Illegal business (don't worry, I''t won't hurt anyone in anyway) and save up money because I'' really struggling out here, and I can never move back home because I fear for my life (there is more to my father and his friends than I have told here).
I often dream about finishing school, getting a good job outside my own country, just starting a new life.
I plan on making that dream come true, and right now my problems are financial, and I can't afford to drop out of school again therefore I am doing this business to only save my self and no reason over that, I will grow and sell marijuana, but quit straight after I save some money, I'' not doing it for the new pair of yezzys you know.

I wish you all the best, thank you for reading my small depressing life story.

Edit: this is a very very undetailed story, there is a lot more to everything here, so if there is anything you wish to know about, just ask, I have never really talked about this to anyone, and it's pretty refreshing to do, so if there aka anything you wish to know, just ask :).

My childhood was perfect. We've always been financially lucky and I've had loving parents.

The biggest thing I've dealt with was two months after I got married I was diagnosed with interstitial cystitis, endometriosis, vulvodynia, and pelvic floor disorder. Sex was painful, which sucks when you are just married. I was on a severely restricted diet, and just was in a lot of pain most of the time. There isn't really a cure/treatment for most of those. I was pretty depressed. It was not how I wanted my life to go - I was a big cook, had always wanted to travel and now things were very different. But mainly it was just being in that much pain all of the time.

That's been the biggest struggle of my life. There have been other smaller things - I was nerdy and got bullied growing up and didn't have many friends, my nana lived with us and had severe dementia and my mom leaned on me for support a bit too much when I was just a teenager, my uncle later lived with us while he was dying of throat cancer. I had a bout of depression in college, and also was in an unhealthy relationship for four years. I loved running but hurt my ankle really badly and had to stop permanently. We struggled financially for a bit after grad school. I had PPD after my first and then a surprise pregnancy 9 mo later. Which now I welcome, but it did mean I had to quit my job because I couldn't afford childcare and I was pretty depressed during the pregnancy. I had a miscarriage a few months ago. That's all little stuff in the big picture though, I know.