DS is almost 4 months old and I have major baby fever. Were you really ready for number 2 when they came along? Is it really that much harder with 2 (or more)?
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So far having 2 is easier than I was expecting.
My kids are 21 months apart and it's been manageable..
My newborn is super easy since all he does is eat, sleep, poop/pee and play a little.
Toddler is the one that makes things difficult since she needs to be entertained.Sucks that I can't sleep when the baby's sleeping!
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We had a pretty hard adjustment in the first two weeks. Maybe it was the age difference (21 months) or maybe it was that we only had help for the first few days... but after the initial adjustment period (which seemed exponentially hard), it seemed like economies of scale.
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It's busier than one child, for sure. And some days I really need a break but I think that's mostly because my husband works long hours so I feel like I'm parenting solo a majority of the time. If it weren't for that, the transition from 1 to 2 was WAY better than 0 to 1! I had a hard time adjusting when my first was born because I realized, oh wait, I can't take him everywhere with me. I got over that by the time baby #2 came so other than that, it's no big thing. I keep the house clean and organized which makes life easier on me and them. DS had just turned 3 by the time DD was born so he was potty trained, could dress himself and was pretty independent (could play by himself for a little while). That helped a lot.
ETA: I actually think being pregnant while taking care of one child was harder than anything else.
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I am only on day 6 but so far it is easier than 0 to 1 for sure! The prior experience helps a ton and I am so much more relaxed right off the bat instead of being a stress case.
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It depends on how your oldest deals with having a new sibling. My boys are one month shy of being 3 years apart. The good thing about the age difference is that my oldest completely understands us and can express what he's feeling. Makes a huge difference, IMO. He does get jealous, though, and will act out. That's when having a good discipline system comes in handy. We do time outs and taught him consequences (i.e., if he bites his little brother which he has he will have toys taken away).
My parents were here for 1.5 months to help us out but after they left I had to figure out a system to get our days going. I always planned out our days the night before. It helps me mentally prepare as well. I put my oldest in preschool 2x a week when he was 2.5 (now he goes 3x a week) so it gives all of a break from each other and he also has his own thing.
It does get tough from time-to-time but, for me, I think the good outweighs the bad most of the time. My oldest will have good and bad days for sure and the bad days are the harder days when I'm constantly disciplining him and putting him in time out. But we can also go through a whole week w/o it. It just really depends.
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There's much less downtime with two... Mine hardly ever nap at the same time, so really the only uninterrupted time I get to myself is when #1 is in school (she goes from 9a-3p) and DD naps or at night after both are in bed. it's not a lot of time at all, especially because my youngest isn't a great sleeper.
I also think it's hard for me because my DH works very long hours so I fly solo a lot.
While the second baby is easier in that you know what to expect a little more, I think it's still not overall easier, because now you have two kids... I'm the opposite of most of the moms on here. I had a pretty easy transition as a first-time mom... Life was pretty simple as a couple with one baby. She went with us all over the city and our lifestyle didn't change too, too drastically.. My first baby was easy and slept great. My second was easy at first, but then became a terrible eater and sleeper, while my eldest DD had some toddler issues going on at the time too...
It's so much harder for me to run errands with two kids in tow vs one kid also... so I find myself just putting things off til I have childcare covered for one kid or it just takes 4x the amount of time to do something with both kids present.
Between me and my two kids, if we are home all day, most of the time, one of us, some of us or all three of us is bound to be somewhat hungry, tired, or in need of a bathroom break/diaper change at any given time. When you're the only adult in a situation like that, you've got your hands full!
Just trying to be real about it! Life with two kids isn't easy... But I do love it and there are so many times throughout my day that I'm super happy I have two lovelies... they complete me!
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6 comments