Hello, my first ever post here although been lurking for a while 
DH and I are currently on month 5 officially ttc (3 months previous to this we were just not trying to prevent) and I wondered how your sex life has changed since ttc?
We used to have sex about twice a week before ttc and now have uped our game to around 4 times a week. The only other change is afterwards I now resemble an Olympic gymnast with bum in air and legs pointed up for 10 mins after each time...attractive I know. I guess it's also lost all its spontaneous feeling as we know mon wed fri and sun we are getting some. Haha!
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Well we have lots more during fertile days and lots less at other times, bad I know. We manage quite well now and manage some spontaneity but month 2/3 were awful. I m so glad things have improved!
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I have to say our fun times were not so far and few/far between. Now it's more "scheduled" around the fertile time but we're DTD a hell of a lot more than we ever did and it's been really good for our relationship.
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It's kind of stressful because DH and I work different shifts. We regularly don't see each other for days if I am working because he doesn't get home until 6 at the earliest and that it the latest I can leave. He is usually later. The same happens in the morning, I don't get home until around 8:30 and DH is out the door before then. It makes DTD and timing harder. I just need to get a day job.
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I mean, on one hand it's better because we are having sex more often, but on the other hand, the sex isn't as good because it's much more frequent and feels more like a chore
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just bad. Being aware of ovulation days just soured everything.
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@Mrs tartan: It has actually been really good for us. Before TTC, we would go up to 6 months without having sex . TTC has really brought us closer together and our sex life has improved! Who would've thought?
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Unfortunately, it's starting to weigh on us. DH is having a difficult time finishing the job, so to speak. It's really mentally challenging due to my unpredictable cycles, so every time I think it's the "right time," it turns into a chore and he feels a lot of pressure. We've lost a lot of spontaneity and though, from time to time, we still have wonderful sex, it's just intermixed with sessions of disappointment and frustration. I feel really bad for him more than anything, and I'm not sure how to improve things.
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@sarahnicole218: that's what happened to my DH for a bit. Luckily he just seemed to get over it. I hope yours does too.
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@CatchAFallingStar: I am so relieved that I'm not the only one, we can go ages without DTD. And it's not even that I don't feel like it but I find it easier to say no then to say yes. I have no idea why it is we used to be at it all the time. One of my resolutions for 2014 is to initiate sex at least once a week, my poor DH deserves better!
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I'm probably going to be the weird one, but it has made our sex life AWESOME.
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It has changed it.
We used to do it more often just for fun, but now since we are so focused on ovulating times, then we don't as much the rest of the month.
We need to be better about more spontaneous fun times.
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We're headed into our first cycle. However, since I've been wanting to actively try since last May (and got off BC this summer in preparation), I've been charting and pretty aware of my cycle. Before now it's been about twice a week, but we need to up our game!
I'm excited about the fun we'll have, but will definitely be pushing the fun to many days in a row/every other day in the middle of my cycle:-). Hubby claims he wants to know when it's...err....recreational, and when it's for "the gold." We'll see how many months it lasts as fun instead of becoming a chore. I hope this month is "the" month for all of us!
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@littlek: share your secret haha!!
TTC made our sex more consistent, and made me try harder, but it definitely is a chore and weighed on me more than for DH. Also I wouldn't want to have sex nearly the whole TWW cause I was just so over it.
Between miscarriage and recovery, it took a solid year for a sticky baby, and I was definitely worn out, and on the verge of needing a TTC break.
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@CatchAFallingStar: @MadamBabyFever: Ditto.
But I'm hoping DH Is the one that starts initiating.
He wanted me to mark my fertile window on the calendar with hearts. -
@runnerd: ugh, me either. I feel like my body needs a break after the 7 days in a row that we did during o week.
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@MadamBabyFever: Oh my gosh. Me, too!! I usually say no and never initiate unless I'm ovulating. YIKES! And oral sex? Forget it! Bad wife.
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I'm nervous because this is our first month TTC in a scheduled way. I hope I can get into it and it wont feel stressdul or like work. My drive has been really low since having my son.
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@CatchAFallingStar: Ditto on the oral, happy enough to do it when we first started going out but now NOPE. Poor guy, I feel like such a bitch, but I really don't enjoy it.
@HolisticMama: That is so sweet, I don't think DH wants to hear about my fertility window. One of the reasons I want to make an effort and initiate now before we even get to the TTCing in two months time is that I don't want him to think I only want sex because of the babymaking -
@CatchAFallingStar: lol totally agree with the oral sex part, I am also a terrible wife!
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For us, he felt so much pressure with the "on demand" type evenings that I had to adjust things. Instead of saying, we must do it 8 days in a row or whatever, we simply started early in the month and used the tried and true every other day sexy time plan and that was the month we got our BFP. It helped us both get more excited to BD and made it feel less like a chore. And now pregnancy sex is so much hotter by comparison, so while TTC sex was not quite as fun, it has helped our sex life if that makes sense!
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At first we were really excited to take on the task of ttc. Then it slowly became a chore to DTD and my DH was turned off for a while and took a while to get the job done so to speak. We kind of had a couple of arguments out of frustration on both parties. After our visits to the RE and making a plan for IVF, we gave up on the charting, timing, temping, and the on demand stuff and got back to sexy time again.
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@princessandthebee: what is the tried and true method? Is this just every other day? Also huge congratulations.
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@runnerd: My husband works a LOT so TTC gives him an excuse to leave work.. and he's not so tired and grumpy so its a lot more fun..
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I'd say the major difference was there was suddenly days when we "had" to have sex. We have a pretty active sex life, but when you know you "have" to do it it's just much less appealing. I tried to keep my husband out of the loop of which days I was most fertile so at least he wasn't affected all the time.
just bad. Being aware of ovulation days just soured everything.
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