With Xander, I probably didn't really bond with him until 7 or 8 weeks! And then I only had a few more weeks of maternity leave before I had to return to work full-time, so it was really hard. I'm hoping with #2, I bond faster!
How long did it take you to bond with each of your children?
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I don't think bonding is something that has hard start and end dates. I think it's something that develops and changes over time.
My son is three and we're now entrenched in a serious mommy phase and it's brought our closeness to a whole new level.
squash / 13208 posts
With my 1st I was definitely in a fog for the 1st few weeks and didn't feel that undying love that I was suppose to feel but with my 2nd I felt that way immediately!
Not sure why? Maybe because I was more open and relaxed since I had already BTDT??
papaya / 10343 posts
I felt immediately bonded with my lo. Which really surprised me bc I thought it would take a while to feel like she was mine or feel that love. Especially bc I had a c section. But as soon as I heard her cry when they pulled her out of me she just immediately felt like mine and I felt overwhelming love for her.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@Mamaof2: I'm hoping that I have that experience with my second!!!
GOLD / watermelon / 14076 posts
I bonded immediately with M. I remember crying on the day we got home from the hospital thinking about going wedding dress shopping with her one day...I have issues!
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
Took awhile with E. There was a definite disconnect for a bit. Just kind of couldn't believe she was mine, i guess? It's hard to remember, it's been so long. But I remember thinking I was "supposed' to feel this overwhelming feeling for her, and I didn't. All my friends say it happens faster with #2 because you know what's coming
papaya / 10570 posts
I didn't even start to bond with E until around 4 months. I loved her from the moment I saw her but I was consumed with anxiety in those early days, I dreaded every little peep she made. Between 4 months and now (10 months), I have loved her more and more every day - now I look at pictures of her after she has gone to bed and gaze at her on the monitor sleeping.
I'm really hopeful that I will bond with number 2 more quickly - or at least get to experience some of the nice feelings other people have about their newborn.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
I felt immediately bonded to N, but it took a few weeks for me to feel more bonded to J. I really feel like it had to do with my breastfeeding experience with each - with N, she latched right away and was an excellent nurser. With J, I had oversupply issues and he would latch/delatch and sputter and cry bloody murder every few minutes. Once we got that figured out I was able to enjoy him more...
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@Mrs. High Heels: I do think my breastfeeding experience with Xander is part of the reason it took me so long to bond with him. I didn't have any REAL issues besides getting him to latch correctly, but it was a miserable experience those first many weeks. After 6 weeks when breastfeeding got easily, that was when I really started to bond with Xander. But that may have also been when he started smiling and interacting more, so I'm not sure if maybe that had something to do with my bonding with him then!
I'm so curious how things go with #2. I've heard that in general, breastfeeding is usually easier the second time around, so I'm just hoping I can bond faster/more easily with #2. I hated how I felt those first few weeks with Xander.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
@Adira: Breastfeeding was more challenging for me the second time around, but I think it's because I started pumping right away, which led to an oversupply that created its own set of issues. I needed J to take a bottle, and wanted to build a good stash! Dealing with a bottle strike with N was not fun. And even though J did latch fine, I could tell immediately that J's latch wasn't as strong as N's from the getgo.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@Mrs. High Heels: I guess there's no real way to predict how things will go with #2 until it happens!
hostess / watermelon / 14932 posts
I worry about the opposite! I bonded with DD right away, but nothing so far with the second.. only pregnancy still, but i worry.
pear / 1837 posts
I didn't really feel bonded to LO1 till he was about 6 months old, whereas with LO2 we were bonded from the very beginning- it was like experiencing infatuation like I'd never felt before. It was definitely aided by the fact that LO2 (apart from the fact that he is a terrible sleeper and always has been) has been an insanely easy baby- I've never really been unable to calm him (seriously, even as a newborn, my boobs fixed all of his problems in life instantly). It was a little crazy, and I'm kind of glad that my hormones are normalizing now. But yeah, with LO1 we definitely had a very gradual bonding process and now we're best beds (he's 3 and keeps getting awesomer and more fun) whereas with LO2 the bond was right away and crazy strong and now we're both chilling out and becoming more independent of each other 
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