Hellobee Boards

@grizz: This. Exactly.

I'd say around 7-8 weeks was when it stopped sucking and by 10-12 weeks, I finally started loving it! It took me 7 weeks to really bond with Xander though so those first weeks were rough.

I saw this video yesterday...it is long but totally worth watching... About happiness and parenting
http://www.ted.com/talks/rufus_griscom_alisa_volkman_let_s_talk_parenting_taboos.html

@grizz: agree 100%!

@MamaMoose: I agree completely. There are days when you feel like you're rocking at this mom thing and then days when you feel like a failure. It is simultaneously the most amazing and most trying time if your life. However, like @grizz, I was in love from that first moment. Even when I'm frustrated and tired and in tears, one look at that little face melts it all away. It is soooo hard but sooo worth it!

Oh man. It was instantaneous for me. I never thought I would love being someones mom more in my entire life. It was a seriously life-changing moment.

I did not vote in the poll... because if I had to name a point when I was TOTALLY happy being a mom, it wasn't until my second was born and sleeping through the night. And I mean totally as in only a few moments a month when it feels bad.

Until then there were ups and downs. When they were newborns, it was up and down all night and day, every day. From omg, best thing ever to omg, what have I done and I can't undo it now. I used to say motherhood is 49% bad and 51% good at the end of the day.

Then as they got older, there were good days and the occasional bad day. But I finally feel like my family and life are complete so almost every single day is awesome. But it has a lot to do with my emotional stability, not my happiness!!

Hmm, this is a really tough question for me. As tough as the first month or so was, I was prepared for it and loved it. It was a huge adjustment for us as a couple and as parents. Some moments in that first month were awesome while others were awful.

Things only became worse when outside forces (inlaws) wrecked havoc on our relationship and our places as parents of our little one. It was during that time that I really felt depressed. I felt good up until then, stressed, but happy. After my MIL's visit, it felt like our life was so upended, that managing parenthood on top of it felt like the most stressful situation ever. We went into counseling while I was still on maternity leave.

I had great moments of motherhood during his first year, but some horrible personal ones that sometimes shade how I think of last year. Things were so stressful that we didn't take a Christmas card picture or other happy first year things. I still don't look kindly to my MIL for putting our family in this position where his first year is riddled with such painful experiences of us as a couple and parents.

For us, parenthood clicked completely later when our relationship improved as a whole. I know this is a very unique perspective on it, but when our marriage improved, so did our parenthood. I have better memories and enjoyment of LO now than I did at the very beginning.

It was definitely not the traditional “love at first sight” we’re often told is what’s normal/should happen. I mean, I was in awe of LO when I first saw her, but my overwhelming feeling was simply “OMG, what happens now?????”. She was a colicky newborn who had her days/nights switched and the first weeks were so freaking hard. I didn’t feel any instant bond with her (I also had severe PPD) and everything was work. Our marriage actually got stronger from moment one of LO’s birth, which was a surprise because it was rock solid before – but having her really did bring us both closer together and make each of us love each other more, and in different ways, than we had before.

All that said, it was a good 6 months before I really felt comfortable as a mom, and happy with everything and I stopped thinking "why did we do this?"

Immediately

@littlecasita1122: I felt the exact same as you. When Xander was placed on my chest after he was born, I thought he was cute and I was relieved I was done giving birth, but I definitely didn't feel overwhelmed with love! Mostly I just felt exhausted! And that first month+, I kept thinking that we had a made a huge terrible mistake!!! It wasn't until 7+ weeks that we finally figured out breastfeeding and Xander started giving us smiles that I finally STARTED to bond with him! And by 10-12 weeks, I was in love! I definitely felt like there was something wrong with me in the beginning that I wasn't head over heels in love with him right from the get-go, but that's totally normal for some people!!

I was in love from the first second I saw her. But the first 6 months were filled with what did we do all the time. While I loved her, it was 6 months before I really loved loved being a Mom.

I was happy right away, even with her screaming/acid reflux/puking I never once had thoughts of regret/second guessing, ect. I knew my life's calling was to be a mother so when it happened I was overwelmed with feelings!

I will say that once she hit 6 months I felt like a natural and that I didn't have to "prove" she was my child. I think her interacting back and what not really pushed it that much more. It is true I love her more each day!

It took some time. I had moments of happy and moments of, "ugh this blows. I'm tired". I lived for the good moments. I couldn't wait for the bad ones to be over. Over the last 3-4 months, I've really come to be truly happy. And it's hard because I can't say in hindsight i was "truly happy" because I don't feel the way I do now. But at the time, i would have said i was. I also wasn't totally overwhelmed with all the love at first, and people kept asking me and i wanted to hit them with a big stick. I was protective, but i wasn't enamored like I am now. THAT had to grow and develop.

If that makes any sense!

When E stopped being a needy blob, that helped. The interaction, etc.

@Mae: I'm so glad you asked this. I read that other thread too and totally had the same thoughts as you. It made me feel sad but the honest answers here are very reassuring. I know entering motherhood is such a dramatic change in life and I hope that I am able to handle it well.

I've always loved F and never regretted becoming a mom, but I chose 9-12 months. Not because I was miserable before then, but because that was when I finally felt adjusted to our new routines and started feeling thrilled about being a mom. I also went through several other events that needed adjusting to (starting work again & being a SAHM over the summer) that maybe increased my stress level & made it hard for me to fully enjoy my life.
F also became more independent at that time; I stopped worrying as much about him and started finding more joy in everyday moments.

Love and complete devotion, but NOT happiness from the start- happiness started at almost exactly 7 weeks when he smiled at us for the first time. That's when I was sold that we would be ok and could do this thing. Feeding issues eased up at that time too and I stopped crying.

It wasn't horrible for the first 7 weeks, but it was certainly a roller coaster. Ultimately I felt like a zombie my first 6 months, and REALLY started to have a blast with him at the one-year mark.