When would you pull LO out? Also, would there be certain behavioural changes in your LO (cranky when she comes home) that would make you feel like it was not a good fit?
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If she seemed to start disliking a place, I'd probably mention it to her provider to see if something had changed, and might wait a week, just in case she's going throw a growth spurt or wonderweek and is just being cranky.
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I'd give it a good long time. My LO is a total diva and takes a while to warm up to things so I feel like she'll need quite a bit of time to adjust to daycare. I know she is going to be cranky at home because I know she isn't going to nap very well until she adjusts (I'm guessing 3-4 weeks).
Best advice is follow your gut. Mommies have instincs for a very good reason!
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If the daycare wasn't willing to speak/work with me about my concerns and really listen and act, then I'd probably make a change relatively quickly. As long as I trust the daycare and they are truly listening to me and working with my child, then I probably wouldn't make a change.
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From my experience with working in child care, each child transitions differently. There are some LOs who adjust great within the first week or first few days, but there are other LOs who take a few weeks or even a month to get fully comfortable with it. If your LO has a hard time transitioning I would be more okay with waiting it out a few weeks if her caregivers seemed understanding and invested in helping LO transition. Ultimately, if I didn't feel comfortable with the caregivers and their perspective on it I would be quicker to look somewhere else. I will say, my DS isn't in childcare but my mom watches him for me. It took him a couple weeks to get comfortable with that routine and knowing his personality if he would start childcare I think, as hard as it would be for me, I would have to give him a few weeks to get acclimated and comfortable. He has a hard time with new people and transitions. But, every child is different and ultimately you need to be comfortable and trust your child's caregivers.
ETA: As far as crankiness at home... I ran an infant room for 5+years and during those first few weeks it can be hard for a LO to adjust. Everything is new and stimulating at daycare so napping might not be consistent at first and might make LO more tired at home.
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I would give LO/the daycare a month or more to transition and adjust before I decided whether or not it was a good fit. I wouldn’t base my decision at all on my LO being cranky when she returns home; many babies have issues napping when they are introduced to a new place full of new toys, babies, adults, music, sounds, etc. and crankiness might just be a function of being overstimulated, not of disliking a place.
I would also take in account LO’s age and personality. Is s/he going through stranger anxiety? If so, that would impact their behavior, but not really be an honest indicator of how they are adjusting to daycare. Is LO naturally shy? If so, they might need a bit more time to warm up to the other babies than a more outgoing LO.
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LO would be cranky coming home because she wasn't able to nap very well at daycare for the first few weeks.
I would take LO out of daycare if I felt there were problems. Luckily, LO LOVES daycare and the teachers are all so lovely.
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I would give it at least 2-3 weeks as babies go through so many phases and developmental changes so you can't be totally sure if it's just a rough transition period or your LO just being a baby/toddler.
Like pp, I'd also take into account how well the DCP is responding to concerns about my lo's transition and how well they communicate. If I'm really unhappy in that regard, then I would take my LO out sooner.
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I think it totally depends on the problem and situation.
If I felt her safety was concerned, I would have her out immediately.
If it was just her having trouble transitioning, I would give it a few weeks.
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@caffeinated: are you just starting daycare or are you talking about things happening that you don't like?
It took M a good long while to not be cranky at daycare! She wants constant attention and they just can't give we that at daycare. But as she got older and more independent things improved and she loves daycare now. She is always super happy at drop off and pick up and often pissed when daddy takes her home!
That being said there has been times we're not happy about certain things . We're going with a 3 strike rule before having a talk with the director. After that one more chance then we're switching her.
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I would definitely give it a month. My LO's first month or so at daycare was rough. We got a fair amount of bad reports as he was transitioning to the new environment. Eventually, it just clicked for him there. We got our first bad report in awhile because he and another baby were being a little loud. We took him to his 6 month appointment right during nap time. He was a cranky pants during it. Once we got him home, he slept 2.5 hours, so we threw off his schedule a bit there. I'm scheduling his appointments now around naptime.
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I would have to know why you were wanting to pull your LO out of daycare? Is it a safety issue? Not napping well? Etc. If it was a safety issue, I would take LO out right away. As for other issues, I would say give it a month or so for your LO to adjust to the new environment.
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i would give it a month. that's how long our daycare gives before reassessing whether daycare is right for a child that is having trouble adjusting. it took charlie like 3 weeks to adjust -- he was shy and watched the other kids for a while. but now he looooves daycare and doesn't even want to come home when we pick him up.
another mom i talked to said her son cried every day for 7 weeks and just as she was going to pull him out, he decided he loved daycare. it's different for every child, but if it were me i would give it a month if there were no clear problems.
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