Even if it's at home, it's okay; as long as it's intentional and set aside.
What factors into that #?
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We have 3 sets of grandparents nearby...which helps!
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Baby's not hear yet, but we made sure to pick a daycare that does parent's nights out so we wouldn't have an excuse to not have some childfree time at least every few months.
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Under 5.
Not because I didn't have someone to care for her (we have family around), but more because I wasn't ready! I was super strict about her routine and sleep.
We did "dates" at home and lunch/daytime-dates when she was at daycare and we could get off work.
OOPS just realized it said including dates at home. In that case, way over 5 haha.
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We have a newborn so dates at home don't exist yet
but my parents watched L while we went to dinner...and I missed him the whole time.
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probably 1-2
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@snowjewelz: Haha you left off a poll option for 0!
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5-10...my parents looked after her for a day or an evening usually once a month once she was a couple of months old.
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I think maybe 1...?
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I voted 5-10, but it may be a few more than that. DS goes to bed early (like, 6:45pm!) so once we sleep trained we could have one of our siblings come over and sit in the house while we went out!
(realized I didn't count date nights at home! we do those often thanks to Blue Apron with a weekend delivery date.) -
Probably 5-10? My dad lives nearby and generally offers to watch LO about once a month or so. We take him up on it more now that she's older (17 months), I think our first date night wasn't until our anniversary so she would have been 4 mos then
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We tried to have a date at least once a month if not more. by 6 months we started over nights and I think had 4-5 by the time she turned 1
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@mrbee: Ahhh lol. I'm hoping everybody at least had ONE?!
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Somewhere between 5-10 official dates. But we also did a lot of stuff where we just took him with us. Concerts on the beach, baseball games, hockey game, restaurants. Stuff we would normally do just the two of us before we had him. it was great taking him out before he was mobile! He usually slept the whole time so it still felt like a date.
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I think under 5. We have family willing to babysit but she was super portable and we never really wanted to leave her because we missed her! We had dinner at 1 month for our first anniversary, did an early movie/dinner, went to a concert and went to a wedding. I think that's it for her first year. We are halfway through her second year and o think we have been on 3 dates - an anniversary dinner, a rehearsal dinner and the wedding. We are on vacation with our in laws and might go out tonight after she goes to bed!
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One. And not another for a year later.
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@Mrs D: That is great!
@MaryM: They have that?! I've never heard of any that I've looked at with that offer! But that's great if you can get into one that does that!
@mauxie: Ugh I know! DH wants to go out more (we do home dates but sometimes DD fusses so it's interrupted, or we get distracted ourselves...)
@simplyfelicity: Newborn is actually the best time to go out now that I think about it, since all they do is sleep haha! If it weren't for the around the clock bf-ing and the sheer exhaustion!
@Adira: I think we're at 1 too haha
@jape14: That is my perfect world, except DD is not sleep trained and does not sleep till at least 7:30!
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@KT326: I wish I was more confident in taking DD out then! But in the beginning we had tons of BF issues, so I did not want to deal with anything when we're out. And so true, the older they get, the more they demand all the attention haha!
@catomd00: Do itttt!
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@snowjewelz: haha, that was 1 for Xander's first year. I don't think we've had one since Logan!
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We try and go on a date once a month. We have no family nearby so we have a babysitter we use.
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@Adira: Does your DH not mind? I made this post b/c DH has been complaining! I suck at home dates b/c I can always find something to do around the house so I have to be physically away!
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Probably 4-5 with each LO. We don't have family help so we always had to find babysitters.
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@snowjewelz: Oh wait, I lied! We've been on a couple day-dates since Logan was born!!
But we never were big date night people anyway. We didn't go on many before having kids, so not much has changed.
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We 100% trust my in-laws to take great care of our LO, and they 100% want any chance to watch him, so we have done probably 10-15 or so date nights plus 3 overnight weekend away. We had a lot of date nights the first 4 months of his life because they were 5min away, but then we moved 2 hours away from my in-laws and probably have a date night every 2 months or so now.
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5, I think? If I'm remembering correctly (all thanks to my parents/mom who watched LO at our house when she was in town visiting).
5 weeks - went to see a movie in the afternoon. RUSHED THERE AND BACK. Gone less than 3 hrs bc I had to pump
3 mo - Afternoon lunch/movie date. Gloriousness.
5mo - Quick lunch date for my birthday
6 mo- Quick movie date in then afternoon (we really like movies, its the only thing we really miss having a kid).
9 mo - First dinner/movie out since baby! First time anyone other than us put her to bed. So much happy dancing.
12 mo- Weeknight after work movie date when my mom was in town.
And I find the fact that I can name all of them pathetic. Need more dates!
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Our daycare in Philly did a Mom and Dad's Night Out one Friday a month through the school year. Grandparents made a couple trips, but the daycare thing was clutch. We made it a point to take full advantage of that!
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In the first year, we probably did 5-10 times with babysitters and friends nearby. Our first year with LO #1 was super stressful and not pleasant, so dates were rare. This time around, we're going on our second date since LO #2 was born on Friday with both kids being watched by a sitter.
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Our current daycare has a parent's night out (PNO) once per month and we try really hard to do it. It's often just dinner, but it's a dinner we can enjoy without the kids. C's original daycare didn't have this and I had a lot of issues leaving her so maybe once when my sister came to visit and forced us to take a date night.
I wish I could be comfortable with a babysitter since we don't have family nearby, but I'm just not.
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My DD is about to be 8 months old, but 3 months ago we instituted an out-of-the-house monthly date night. So, for the past 3 months, we've had one night where one of our moms puts her to bed and we go out to dinner. It's kind of sad how early we come home, lol....but it's nice to be out and alone, even if just for a couple of hours. I hope we'll be able to keep this up in the future!
ETA: We didn't really feel comfortable doing this until she was going to bed without a fight. Still, she goes down much easier for my mom than for MIL, and so I'm much more relaxed when my mom puts her to bed.
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I'd say typically once a month, sometimes twice, but less right at the beginning. We also have grandparents in town.
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@snowjewelz: it seems to be the norm around here. Not all of the ones we visited mentioned it, but when I went back and asked, they said it was included. They happen more or less often depending on demand (some centers do it monthly. The one we chose does it every 2-3 months)
But it's $25-30 for 3 or 4 hours on a Friday. That's so much cheaper than a babysitter!
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Less than 5 in the first year. We have my parents in town and they are wonderful. But LO was in the NICU for an extended stay and had some feeding challenges so we just weren't ready to leave him. I don't regret it, but I do want us to do a little better over the course of his second year!
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@snowjewelz: I
the early bedtime, but I think we just lucked out that DS responded really well/easily to sleep training.
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Less than 5 out dates..
But TONS of in-home dates!
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A lot - we were lucky to have very willing parents. Our first was to celebrate a friend's bday maybe a few weeks after she was born. My MIL stayed over, so it worked out. When M was 4 months she started sleeping at our parents homes and it's been great for everyone ever since!
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Once and that was just for a quick dinner on our anniversary so less than 2 hours. We don't have any family nearby so that makes date nights hard.
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Under 5. A large reason was that I was on such a strict elimination diet that we couldn't even consider eating out. Plus we only really have two grandparents we can ask, and the one I trust more lives about an hour away.
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A big fat zero in the first year. We have no family nearby and we didn't feel comfortable using a sitter yet.
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10?
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We were fortunate to have family nearby and friends we could call on as well so we had a date night about once per month.
I would say that we had an "in home" date about once a week if you count eating ice cream and watching Netflix!
As soon as we moved, I started wondering how in the heck we would do it?! I asked a mom I met and she said she had not had a date night with her husband since her first child was born... and he's 4.
but my parents watched L while we went to dinner...and I missed him the whole time.
the early bedtime, but I think we just lucked out that DS responded really well/easily to sleep training.
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