I know we should give what we are comfortable giving but I am curious what gets the most votes?
Our neighbors DD is getting married next weekend - me, DH and 2 kids are going - how much do you gift them?
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We haven't been to a wedding where the full family has attended - it's always only been DH and me. We usually give $200, but if it's a really close friend, we'll up it depending on if we're in the wedding or not.
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@2PeasinaPod: exact same here. We are in the northeast where I think people gift more.
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I would look at the registry, if you can find it. That would give me a clue as to what to gift in terms of cash.
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I voted $250 = $100 each adult and $50 for kids?
ETA that I also live in a high cost of living area.
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For my area - $150-200 would be considered generous on DH's family. In NYC with my family, A LOT more than that!
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Cash gift is the expected norm in my culture. I live in NYC and the absolute minimum is $100-150 per adult, which is about what would cover the cost of the plate. A little more for close family or friends, I paid $500 for me and DH recently but she was a lifelong childhood friend. I'd assume $250-300 for a family of four would be ok for neighbors.
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oh i feel stingy after reading the responses. i voted $100. i guess i was thinking of what i would give to my neighbor's daughter's wedding (we're not really close to them), so i said $100.
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@regberadaisy: same! The most we got from one person was $100. $50 is the average that people spent. We had numerous DH's friends that didn't give a gift.
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I live in NYC and the norm for our circle is $150 per couple. I would do something between $150-$200 for your family.
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I don't have a set amount because it depends on whose wedding and where it is. I would probably try to do about $150 if we were bringing the kids to a neighbor's wedding or $100 if it was just us.
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It would depend on the relationship and location/type of wedding for me.
In a "cover your plate" culture, I'd give more (but also if it's that culture, I imagine I'd have to be much closer to the person than living next to their parents to get invited)
But I don't live in a place where "cover your plate" is the norm. I think it's more usual for couples to give $100, families *maybe* a little more.
If I'm really close to someone, I'll give more than $100, but that's pretty standard.
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@Smurfette: LOL I think my inlaws were embarrassed at how little their family gave! Espy because in Chinese culture cash gifts are norm and we give a lot. So it was more stark. But we were just happy that his extended family that travelled to our wedding!
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I voted 300, that's my standard gift, assuming a sit down dinner and that I most likely didn't attend the bridal shower.
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I live in the midwest (most of my guests were NOT from a major city but smaller towns or even rural areas) and people don't give that much- like $50 might be an average from a couple but many didn't give a gift at all or I got $5-$20 from an individual. The most I got was $200 from an aunt.
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Someone that i'm not close with $100. If it's close friends, then about $200-$300. Dude, I have three kids!!! Can't afford to be giving out more than that!
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Thanks everyone!
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@kes18: Agreed. I rarely got more than $25 - $50 per couple/family. Yes, some gifts received were more than that, but the prices that people are putting out here are not the norm in our area.
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Depends on how close I am to them. But if its neighbors daughter and I'm not great friends with them it would be somewhere between 100 and 200.
For a friend we do anywhere from $200-500 depending on the relationship.
For family anywhere from $500-1000.We've never been to a wedding with DS, maybe we'd bump up our normal by $50 or so.
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We've never done cash gifts. Just a nice gift that was mailed or given at the bridal shower. And even then, I usually only spend $50-$75. I've never heard of the "cover your plate" culture. That is fascinating!
I received cash gifts from very few people at our wedding (and it was a swanky affair), and it would have been a $50 max cash gift.
If I gave $200-$300 cash gift at someone's wedding, they'd probably be calling me to ask if I'd made a mistake! Lol. That would also be a quarter of our food budget for the month, and we ain't poor!
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I'm in NY and typically give $250 at least- more for close friends or family, but cash is pretty standard around here.
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We usually give $300
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HOLY GOODNESS! I feel so cheap! I was MOH last weekend and gave about $50 for the bridal shower, $30 for the bachelorette party, and $100 for the wedding. I also paid nearly $300 for the dress, shoes and hair. But I have also never heard of this "cover your plate" thing.
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It's unusual for me to buy a registry gift over $100 or give more than that in cash. I think that's standard in the area. Most weddings over the last few years I've traveled for- Mexico, Hawaii, Central Oregon, we are going to Mexico for another wedding next year. I shot my uncles wedding as a gift last month.
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In the past we've done $100 which has been on the low end for our area but what we could afford. We could do more now and we are actually going to a family wedding this weekend. I think I'll do $150 and we did a $50 gift for their shower. Would have done $200 if not for shower. Though I'm going to check with my siblings first to make sure we're not doing way more than them!
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I usually give anywhere from $50-$100. That's about what I got from people too, at my own wedding. I'm in the Midwest.
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Around here 50 is the norm for a couple
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I would say at least $150. For your situation, if it was just you and you DH maybe you could do $100, but since you are bringing two kids (and assume they have to eat, too). I said $150.
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I didn't know people based cash gifts on how many people from their family attend the wedding. I always thought of wedding guests being....well, guests! I always buy from a registry and would match the typical amount we spend, which is around $100-150.
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50 is the norm here, thank goodness! We couldn't afford more than that with great frequency - and get invited to lots of weddings.
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We got married in Atlanta where we are from. $50 was the norm from couples, and some of the older couples/family friends gave $100, which we thought was really generous!
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@Happygal: For my wedding, I really didn't care about gifts. I just wanted their presence as a family or friend. But as a guest at a friend's wedding, how expensive things are and that they usually pay per person for food and drinks. So I guess I would like to give back by way of gift and also give them a nice gift to start their marriage. But yeah, my expectations for my wedding was completely different. Would I be shocked if some of my guests felt they HAD to pay their way? Yes. I would hope that that we were close enough and knew that I'm not about gifts.
I guess if I invited my neighbor to my wedding and it was causally mentioned (versus a formal invitation mailed to me), I would probably tell them to come and bring the family and don't worry about bringing a gift. I think that's how I would take the gift expectations off their shoulders.
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Honestly, it never occurred to me to give money at the wedding on top of any gifts at the shower/wedding. But in your case, I would give $50, as you aren't really close.
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@bluestriped bee: I think we're on the same page here, but to clarify--I always give a gift (just hasn't been cash). But I don't base the amount spent based on how fancy the wedding is, if I'm with my spouse, husband, etc. We spend more for closer friends and family.
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@Happygal: Oh, ok. Yeah, I've been to wedding where I was invited to the shower so no gift was given at the wedding and I have been to a wedding where I missed the shower or wasn't close enough to be invited... so in this case I gave cash at the wedding.
Also, I usually don't know how fancy the wedding is before I arrive. I just know that when I was planning my wedding the cheapest I found was food was $75 per person and beer and wine bar was $30 per person. I ended up avoiding the alcohol charge and still supplied alcohol but without the per person charge. So given that I assume the average per person cost is about $75-$100 per person.
Oh, I agree. I give more to closer friends and family.
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We usually do $200 but that's just if DH and I attend. Haven't gone to one with our son.
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@kes18: Yep, a standard gift where I am is a $30 item off the BBB registry! It's rare to "cover your plate." I think I'd have to RSVP no to most of the weddings in other areas, but that said, looking at the options listed and what is seen as normal where you are, sounds $100-$150 would be okay.
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Wow these answers are a lot more than I usually give, and we're in NYC too (used to be in dc so also hcol!). We usually gift something from the registry between $75-125 depending on how close we are to the couple, and that was standard for couples in our age range at our wedding. The only people who gave us more than that are our parents' generation or older-- when we're like 50+ we'll give $200 but not before then.
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I don't think the "cover your plate" idea is that prevalent in California, but maybe I'm wrong? Things tend to be a little less formal here. We haven't been to many weddings lately, but we typically give $100-$150. When we got married, our philosophy was that we were treating our guests, and we felt grateful that people would go out of their way to attend. Weddings are expensive for everyone involved!
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