and how old are they?
And just for consistency's sake, I'm going to define tantrum as being extremely loud and defiant (screaming or crying) and maybe kicking or stomping feet and lasting more than 2-3 minutes.
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Very rarely, maybe once or twice ever. But we buy his behavior with screen time, lol. And he's 2.5 and only just started really tantruming like this at home.
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So far, she hasn't...but now that I've said that, I'm sure she'll have an epic one next time we leave the house.
ETA: she's 2.5.
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Last week she laid down screaming in the middle of Target because she wanted to stand up in the cart and we wouldn't let her, so I told her I was putting the Paw Patrol sheets back. I was in the next aisle.
Today I football carried her out of Target because she threw a fit when Daddy tried to pay for the new blu-ray player.
Maybe we should stop going to Target.
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Knock wood... not yet at 26 months. She screamed through the grocery store once but it turned out she had an ear infection. Luckily when it is just me and her in public she always seems to behave fine. When my husband is there she sometimes flips out if he tries to take her away from me (like if I want to try on clothes alone). So if she freaks we just let her come with me rather than deal with the tantrum.
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@PurplePeony: ditto for us!
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@avivoca: DD loses her shit at Target every time.
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WHO are all these "never" people, and what is your secret?!
It's a few times a week for us--lately, often after camp pick up when he is hungry and tired, and doesn't like any of the lunch choices i brought.
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I said once a month but it's more clustered than that- and it's always when she has an ear infection (which has been about half the time for 2016
). I left a chiropractor appointment carrying the infant car seat in one arm and my screaming kicking 2:5 year old under the other arm, down the stairs, and out to the car. It. Was. Awesome.
We have also left the playground like that a few times- I learned to always bring the stroller even though it's two blocks away, so I can force her in there than carry her home with the baby strapped to my chest.
But again, this only really happens when she has an ear infection. I finally figured that out and get to the doctor faster now!
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Never, but she's only 2.
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@hilsy85: my kid was wicked colicky and difficult as an infant. I joke she's still making up for that period of hell, even at 4
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I didn't vote because it definitely clusters-- sometimes it's a LOT and sometimes not at all. we commute via public transportation and that's usually where it happens. I actually stopped walking w her in the stroller to/from daycare bc she would throw fits that she wanted to get out but she actually wanted me to carry her (it's 1.2 miles, she def can't walk that far!).
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Never, but he's only 21 months. His fits only last 30 seconds or so, whether in public or at home.
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I voted once a year, but really, it's only been once. He's 3.5. No secret--just a kid with remarkable self-control. I don't know where he got it. Wasn't from me...
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My 3.5 year old has only had a few in public, but plenty at home. Last weekend, she acted insane in a Burger King. We went through the drive through just to get milk after a parade. I think she was super tired. She told me she wanted to go inside to use the bathroom. So we went inside and she started crying. She would not say why and refused to go either back to the car or to the restroom. She stood there crying for a solid 20 min, despite me feigning going to the bathroom and to the car without her when she refused to follow. She wouldn't budge and I was carrying her sister, so I wasn't sure what to do. Luckily nobody was there except for a nice old couple who even tried to talk to her to distract her or figure out the problem. Finally, I managed to pick up both kids at the same time - my 44# 3.5 year old and 25-30# 13m old and take them to the restroom. It turned out all the crying was because she wanted to be picked up - but really I think she was just exhausted from the parade. Usually she's good at communicating what she wants.
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I was originally thinking never because we haven't had the classic grocery store or restaurant tantrum. However, DD (3) has lost her marbles on many hikes and around the neighborhood when it's time to come in from playing.
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I know I'm beyond lucky - she's 4.5 and she's never thrown a tantrum - she's just always been a very easy-going child. At 4.5 she's having much stronger emotions and strong preferences and she has cried and expressed that she's super upset maybe a handful of times but it's crying maybe 30-60 seconds and she's pretty easily comforted
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Never thrown a tantrum, only 15 months though. We will see what the future holds. We're trying very hard to practice RIE though so fingers crossed that groundwork will pay off in fewer tantrums down the road.
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I'm amazed how many people are on the lower/never end! I picked once a week - although for us 2-3 minutes would be a very long one. He usually moves on pretty quickly. Although I do remember one particular occasion going well over 30 mins! He's 2.5.
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@PawPrints: we do our best to practice RIE too - but I think for us at this stage that means more tantrums! (Though usually v quickly moved on from) As he is generally encouraged to let out his feelings, and there is no way I will use bribery or give him his own way to avoid a tantrum! He's a fiery little guy though
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It's happened occasionally. It just happened yesterday when she didn't want to leave Buy Buy Baby because of the toys displayed at the front.
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Oh yeah, she also threw a fit at the car lot yesterday because she didn't get to look at any cars (we were in the wrong place). Talk about embarrassing as you carry your screaming kid out of the Honda showroom.
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I voted once a month, but thinkig about it more, maybe once a week is more accurate for DD. DS rarely has problems in public, but if we are anywhere for too long, DD will melt down. I make it my goal to watch for the signs and get her into the car and on the way home before things get really bad. If we are doing anything that might run into naptime, bedtime, or mealtime we are guaranteed a breakdown from DD, so I just do my best to avoid messing with her schedule too badly. Off the top of my head, she's had meltdowns at soccer, the zoo, a family members' house, another zoo, the dr office, and a coffee shop in the last week. But she was sick with a cold this week so that certainly didn't help! We're pretty sure this is just DD's personality. She feels everything very strongly and has since the day she was born! It's so interesting to see the differences between DD and DS (twins) because one is very easy going and one is...not.
@PawPrints: @Bubbles: We practice RIE too, and it definitely doesn't mean zero tantrums for us! It does help DH and I react to the meltdowns, though.
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@twodoghouse: mine aren't twins, and the baby is only six months, but it's already so interesting to see just how different their personalities are. I can only imagine seeing them side by side like twins. You are also giving me hope that maybe my more chill baby will continue to be a chill toddler than big sister.
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Just better comment to make the other parents of tantrum-throwing, strong-willed children feel better!
can't believe all these never responses! Probably around 18mo it was weekly, now it's probably every 3 weeks at 2 yr old. (Only because we've gotten better at our snack distractions and bribe game)
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I didn't vote because it varies. He is 4 and we've had our fair shair of tantrums in public since he was about 18 months. I've football carried him out of many places.
Most recently (like a couple weeks ago) he threw a screaming fit in the shoe store because he was goofing off and lost the lid to his shoe box under the rack and couldn't get it. He was on the floor and it seemed to last forever but was maybe 5 minutes before I convinced him the world was not going to end if he didn't have the lid to his box.
One time when he was 3.5 and just potty trained we went to Target. He had to go to the bathroom but refused to wash his hands and started screaming. I finally just picked him up and carried him out. My husband said everyone could hear him screaming. It was awful and then we spent about 20 minutes just trying to get him in his car seat (he wanted to go back into Target and started throwing a fit about that).
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Seriously hesitant to answer this question and jinx myself, but at 3.5 he's really only done this once or twice.
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Never, for my older daughter. She's almost 5, and she's never had a tantrum like that anywhere. I'm expecting my 11 month old to be terrible about it, just to balance it out.
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In recent memory, my 3.5 year old only has once. If my 1.5 year old starts crying I wear her which nips it in the bud.
That is NOT to say they don't have epic tantrums at home. They just save them for me
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Some of this probably has to do with how often the kid is out in public for an hour or more - for some parents it's everyday, for some it's just on the weekends or less. Also the activity, some parents can do most of their errands alone and some multiple kids are brought along for every chore that needs to be done.
Both my kids have been most unreasonable bw 1.5 - early 2. I'm not sure how often it was but it wasn't great fun but at the same time I think they both learned some lessons that have stuck with them and make parenting now a bit easier. -
It's a few times a week with us and our 3.75 year old. She is so sassy and will not listen when we tell her not to do something! I feel like I am doing something wrong
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@yellowbird: you aren't doing anything wrong!!! It's tough, but you can't compare this kind of stuff with other parents. It's so personality driven, as @twodoghouse has beautifully represented. You can parent two kids the exact same way and one can throw lots of tantrums and one not. One day that strong will is going to serve her very well!
@runnerd: strong will parents unite. He doesn't tantrum much in public, but that's just because I have the luxury of not having to do errands with him usually (perk of work out of home parent I guess).
This thread made me think of this meme:
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3.5 yo - probably once or twice a year. It's rare, she's usually calm. She does have whining crying moments but rarely tantrums. And if she is starting to get worked up we are outta there and head home asap.
Almost 2 yo - no epic tantrums yet although he will whine and cry when he gets bored. So we usually head out soon after.
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@LBee: haha yes I love that meme!
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My kids have cried briefly in public places, but have never had tantrums.
DD is 5 and DS is 3.5 -
@LBee: hahaha! Thank you! Sometimes I'm just like , what the hell am I doing wrong!?!?!? I always try to talk to her about it and I rarely lose my cool, but sometimes I just want to die while everyone is staring.
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@yellowbird: I totally agree with what @LBee: said. It's really personality-driven, not parenting-driven. My son is generally super chill, goes with the flow, and is pretty easily distracted. I can already tell, at 5m, that my daughter is going to much more difficult. She's much more opinionated and fussy that D was at her age. I imagine that will continue into toddlerhood and beyond (God help me in the preteen years!).
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Never yet. She doesn't really tantrum at home either though.
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DD1 (3.5) is way to conscious of her surroundings to throw a tantrum in public. She does not like attention on her.
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Luckily, never. LO is 3.5.... He has mini meltdowns, usually at home, but doesn't really tantrum like you're describing.
). 
can't believe all these never responses! Probably around 18mo it was weekly, now it's probably every 3 weeks at 2 yr old. (Only because we've gotten better at our snack distractions and bribe game)
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