I have a friend from high school who sent me a text last night asking about staying with us during the window of my due date - May 30-June 4th. I told her that's when the baby is due, but she still wants to come stay with us for a visit at some point this summer. I have no clue if and when I'll feel up to it, but I'd love to see her! Maybe August/September time frame?
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I had a good friend from college come stay very shortly after LO or her two month shots. We didn't allow anyone to stay before that unless they got a flu shot and a TDaP.
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I haven't got any experience with this yet, but my gut reaction would be not for a looooong time! Is there another friend nearby she could stay with instead? I would just feel nervous about committing to having her come when I'm not sure how long it would take me to adjust. I'm a little surprised she wants to stay in the same house as you that soon... I stayed overnight with a friend when her baby was 10mths old and even then I felt like I would be in the way etc.
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One of DH's best friends came and stayed with us for almost a week when LO was just under a month old. Our situation was a bit unique though. It was my understanding that he would only be staying one or two nights. And he just.... Didn't leave. LO and I were still having nursing issues and having to go into my room with just the baby every time he needed to nurse was not fun. DH was also working during the day so I felt like I was supposed to entertain him.... Something I didn't want to deal with along with getting used to caring for a newborn.
I think if it had been another woman I would've felt differently and definitely more comfortable.
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That is WAY too soon. A house guest is a house guest and I will feel compelled to be hostess-y. That's the last thing I want to do with a newborn especially one that potentially will only be a few days old. They will be crying/fussing and I always worry when there are house guest of baby crying.
You do NOT need the added stress. Ask her to come at the end of summer after she has her 2 month shot like @MamaMoose: suggested. Tell her it's for the baby's health and ped's reco.
If that's the only time frame she can come I will ask her to stay elsewhere.
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I had a friend stay when LO was two weeks old. I think what really matters is the closeness of the friend and how easy your baby is. Is it a friend that you'll be comfortable being topless in front of? Someone that will help out and not have any expectations of you?
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@regberadaisy: I was thinking like August or September? I have no idea why someone would even want to stay with us when we'll have a new baby! It may be a straight-up mess at our house haha!
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@oliviaoblivia: VERY good point!
@grizz: I lean towards September! Babies are no fun the first 3 months! They just eat, sleep & poop! She might as well meet baby when s/he is more fun!
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A couple months at least. I wasn't ready for my mom to leave until M was a month old, physically or mentally. We had guests come at 3 months and that had been plenty of time.
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We had a friend stay with us when LO was two weeks or so. It wasn't a big deal for us. I would say it depends on you, the baby, and the guest.
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My parents came to stay when my son was 5 weeks old, but my mom majorly helped out.
For friends, not before at least 5 months of age, the 4th trimester was just so special.
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I think it depends on your relationship. My BFF came when LO was 6 weeks old. We didn't do a whole lot, but she wasn't expecting to. She was here to see LO. It was great!
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I would not want any friends to stay right after LO was born. I was a big old hot mess (physically, mentally and emotionally) for a few weeks after LO's birth. My MIL stayed with us for about 1 week right after we came home (she flew in the morning after LO was born) and even that was tooooooo much!
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We had close friends come the next afternoon and night.
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I'd definitely wait until 4-6 months afterwards. I was just a mess for the first 3 months, at least.
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I talked to DH and he's thinking that even though she's a close friend of mine, he thinks its inconsiderate that she asked to stay with us and wants to take a 'wait and see' approach. Since I convinced him not to let MIL stay with us immediately post-baby, he wins this one. I have no idea how I'll feel, and I owe him one!
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I wouldn't even let family house guests right after LO was born. I'd give it at least 2 months, if not more.
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@grizz: I don't think it's rude of your friend & may end up being okay depending on your relationship, but I think you've right to let your husband weigh in. It's great that MIL isn't coming right away and you don't want to jeopardize that, right!?
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@mewtill: Absolutely!
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i had a close friend stay with us for a night a week after LO was born, but i waited until after she was born to see how i was feeling.
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My LO is 5 weeks old and I wouldn't want any overnight guests.
My mom and brother stayed one night and that was stressful. I EP and had to walk through the living room (where they were sleeping on the fold out couch) several times throughout the night, to wash and assemble pump parts, put milk in the fridge, fortify freshly pumped milk, make LO's bottles, etc.
Then there was LO crying and waking them up. It just wasn't all that pleasant for them or us and it was only one night.
I also pretty much slept the whole time they were here, except when I got up to pump and feed LO (he was eating every 3 hours then and I was pumping every 3 hours).
So I vote September! By then you'll have a routine, a handle on feeding, a chance to catch up on sleep, time to bond as a family, etc.
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My inlaws stayed a few nights when DS was about 2 weeks old. It was a nightmare for me. Too many PP hormones, major breastfeeding difficulties and too much sleep deprivation. I did not enjoy the visit at all even though I typically like my inlaws.
When DS was four months we had friends of DH stay with us for a week and it was totally fine. But they already had 2 kids (kids didn't visit) with #3 on the way so they knew exactly what we were going through.
I would definitely wait on your friend's visit.
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I would say hell no. I actually really enjoyed having visitors from the day I came home from the nicu, but I couldn't have predicted that feeling.
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My DD1 was born just before Christmas (had to be overnight guests at a friends cause we live an hour from the city when she was 2 days old) and we went to my inlaws for overnight 4 days after her birth for 3 days then up to my parents for 3 days. I had no problem with that so I wouldn't have an issue with guests staying over.
Especially since this is my third I would welcome guests to occupy my other two lol.
But like the pp stated you never know how you will feel and it is best to make those plans after LO is here.
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