Hellobee Boards

You can setup a Google Calendar reminder, so that it's not you doing the reminding?

I'm just commenting to I can see suggestions as well. I am in the same boat as you

i feel like I'm writing this...but he does get annoyed when I nag! I'm a "just get up and do it" kind of person, he's a "sit around and I will get to it" kind of person. Makes housework a little difficult at times.

We keep various lists online that we can both access, and he likes me to add stuff to his "chores" list. He's pretty good about getting to it, though if something needs to be prioritized, I'll bring it up.

I'm always appreciative of when he does stuff....positive reinforcement and all that. I don't nag him, though...because I am the same way. I say i will do something, and I will, but I'll be damned if i do it right now just because you say you want it done now, ya know?

And when push comes to shove, if i do feel like it's irritating me that he hasn't done XYZ yet, I do it myself.

@JessLC: I don't want to seem to minimize your feelings regarding this issue, but ultimately, even though there are some things that DH does that annoy me (like opening packages in the kitchen and leaving them on the counter instead of throwing the packages away), I just let them slide because I don't want to *litter* our relationship up by sweating the small stuff, and because when I am objective about it, there are things I do that I am sure drive DH crazy (like leave my makeup all over the counter in the bathroom, or borrow his razor to shave my legs without telling him) that he never complains/nags me about. It's just a give and take, and making the decision to let it go.

I don't mean to suggest that everything falls into this category, but when I think about the things that really matter in our relationship, the smaller things rarely fall into that category. When things really bother me, I have found that it is typically not the smaller issue/event that is bothering me and instead there is another issue that I need addressed for which the smaller issue is just serving as a conduit . . . if that makes sense.

I'm not sure if this will help or not - but there is something I used with a couple I worked with.

1) Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. For instance, "you keep leaving your laundry on the floor! I'm sick of looking at it!" is much more annoying than hearing someone say, "I feel frustrated when I see your dishes next to the sink instead of in it. Would you please just put them inside it so they can be rinsed?" Or something similar. When someone hears another person start out with, "You ---" they automatically get defensive (when being nagged or scolded..not if the person is saying "you are the best!" lol).

I've also found with my husband that I have to ask him over and over and over, he just forgets. So I'll tell him that there is a list of things on the fridge white board and to please get at least A or B done. Having a visual helps remind him. I also try to ask in a more pleasant way - I've found that instead of me saying, "UGH! I've asked you to bring your damn laundry downstairs 80 times, what the hell!" if I say, "I know you're having a ton of fun right now but could you please grab that laundry?" he's more likely to do it.

I know those sound really silly and almost insulting...but that's just what I've found to work for us. And we had a serious blowout over my nagging before I started doing that!