DD has been having some issues lately. She's been going through a separation anxiety phase and cries every time we try to leave her (at daycare, at night to go to sleep, etc...). On top of that, she has become almost unbearably whiney. She cries because she has to get dressed in the morning; she cries because she has to go potty; she cries because she has to put on her shoes before she goes outside or because she has to put on her seatbelt before I'll start the car. It's becoming exhausting.

Generally, she's pretty independent and autonomous for a 2 year old, but she doesn't want to do anything by herself, lately. We'll ask her to do something, she'll break down in a tnatrum, and we end up having to do everything for her while she cries and begs us to stop. Sometimes SHE doesn't even know what she wants: we'll ask simple questions like, "Do you want oatmeal or a smoothie for breakfast?" and she'll break down crying without actually making a decision! She'll ask to be held and then cry when we pick her up, and then cry when we put her down! We remind her that we can't help her if she's crying and that she needs to use her words, but that doesn't help at all.

We're mostly able to stay calm and patient with her, and we always start by validating her feelings. We give her opportunities to let us talk her through the tantrum and we give her opportunities to self-soothe by walking away/ignoring it. We've tried redirecting and distracting, and it seems like nothing works. The only thing that calms her down is to hold her for a while, but as soon as we need to put her down or ask her to do something else, she breaks down again.

Does anyone have any insight as to what's going on? Or any tips to share on how to get through this? I really hope this is just a phase because it is really hard to deal with day in and day out.