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LO was 3 when my MIL passed last fall. At the funeral I mostly kept her distracted so she didn't see a lot of the emotion. I was just honest with her. I did tell her that she can always talk to nana and while she won't answer she would hear. Explaining through tears why we couldn't open the casket was hard.

@MrsF: maybe you could just say you don't know? Tell her no one really knows what happens when you die but you do know that grandma isn't in any pain and she's happy now...? I'm sorry My grandma is in her final weeks of life as well and while I'm so so sad that my daughter won't remember her, I'm grateful I won't have to deal with this issue with her.

I'm so sorry. I'd try something like:

"Granny died last night. That means we won't be able to see her or play with her anymore, but we can still love her. Sometimes when someone dies, it makes people very sad. I have a couple of things I like to do when I'm sad. I like to draw pictures, and I like to talk to them, even if they can't talk back. Does either of those things sound like something you'd like to do? Or is there something else you'd like to do?" And also "It made me very sad when Granny died. It also made a lot of other people (like...) sad. When people are sad, sometimes they cry. That's ok. We can give them a hug if we want and tell them we love them."

Obviously, I wouldn't blurt all that out at once. I'd pause and ask if she has questions or how she's feeling. Honestly, I don't think you have to do a lot of explaining about death. At this age, it's more about how things affect the child (they can't think much beyond that). I'd focus on concrete actions they can take.

We had a thread about this not too long ago. I think it was called "talking about death when non-religious". There was lots of good advice.

Sadly my friend just had to tell her 3 year old her father passed. She was direct, honest and to the point. She ended up saying daddy was sick and sometimes when people are sick they can't get better and they die and we cant see them anymore. She said ok that makes me sad and then went and played. She had a few questions over the next few days about when she or mommy would die. She did get a little scared that any time someone gets sick they will die and wishes she had left the sickness part out somehow. You are fortunate in a way since she is older you won't nexessarily have to talk about sickness. So sorry for your impeding loss. It's so hard.

My father died right before my daughter turned one, so she was not able to understand it. She did really seem to notice my feelings, though, so I limited my grieving around her. About a year later she got very interested in her Opa, and I had to explain that he'd died. She went through a long period of wanting to talk about it, often mentioning it out of no where. It was hard for me, but she clearly needed to do her own grieving process.

We talk about death not infrequently, now. I've explained that after you live a long, full life, you die. That's the end of everyone person and every animal's life. And it's sad, because we'll miss that person, but that it's a natural part of life.

Be prepared for your kid to have her own process, and know that it might not be easy for you. She'll probably want to talk about it over and over. It might be really hard to handle while you're grieving, but do your best to let her get it all out.

@MrsF: First I am sorry!!!
I really don't have advice, but know you will know exactly what to say when the time comes!

This sesame st episode might be helpful. I think there is also info about talking to young children about death related to this episode out there somewhere.

@MrsF: So sorry for your loss

@MrsF: I'm so sorry for your loss