Hellobee Boards

Agreed that email or text is probably ideal. And she might withdraw for a while, know that it is probably not at all personal. Just really tough to deal with conflicting emotions about being excited for friends but so very sad for yourself. But considering you've been through losses (so sorry to hear that), I'm sure you'll be super sensitive and you "get it". You don't assume getting pregnant is easy and fun for everyone, which was the one thing that really upset me when I was going through IVF!

@winniebee: I would prefer text or email. My best friend got pregnant right after I found out (like the day after) that one of my fet's was a failure. I so appreciated that she emailed me to give me time to process/respond and that she told me before she told any of our mutual friends (and even then, she told our
Mutual friends in our private Facebook group versus our monthly meetup which saved me another awkward face-to-face). Not that everyone has to go that far to care about someone else's feelings, but it really impacted me how much she tried to think about how to make it easiest on me.

I would also prefer text or email. My SIL told us they were pregnant at a family dinner during my 2ww after ivf and it was really tough to put on a happy face, even though of course I was happy for them

@erinbaderin: sorry I missed your question--I certainly wasn't avoiding answering!

I'm AMA & took 10 cycles to conceive my daughter with a MC in the process & then getting the initial workup at the RE where they found I have 1 blocked tube & 1 pointing away from my ovary. We were planning 1 iui while we worked on prep for ivf when I conceived my DD. So, technically, no, I have not been diagnosed with infertility, but I feel like between my experience of getting pregnant & the fact that I have several friends who have been through long infertility struggles, that I am a very empathetic semi-fertile woman. Lol.

Eta: I want to clarify that I do not mean to sound as though my process was as "painful" as infertility, mind you. I could not fully understand what it is like, so please don't anyone take my comments as flippant or disrespectful to the pain of infertility. Rather, I have a very soft place in my heart for you all & wish babies for all of you aching for them.

Definitely email or text. Especially since you say you aren't super close. Plus, it seems like you two are very comfortable texting each other.

Yeah, a family member told me she was having her third and I had to fake being happy for her. Overall, I was happy for her but I was a bit blindsided and had to work really hard with keeping a cool head. Afterwards, when I found some alone time, I didn't cry or anything. I just had to breath and remind myself that some people are just fertile. I didn't want to cause drama so I had calm myself down on my own.

I had to do the same when I went to a different family member's baby shower. It took a lot to prepare myself for her upcoming shower.

This was while we were struggling with IF with repeated IUI failures. The baby shower I went to we were in the beginning stages of preparing for IVF (retrieval was done but transfer was not), so we still had the chance that IVF would not work for us.

I agree that in person would be harder on her. A text would allow her to respond at her own pace and time and not have to worry about you seeing her facial reaction to it