Hellobee Boards

I know a kid who has a similar trigger. He was evaluated by a behavioral psychologist because he was being disruptive in school (and the school required it to continue) and she recommended therapy. He would freak out during any collective performance type thing and would scream "stop" repeatedly. Even without an audience. After working through it with the psychologist he no longer does it. He was already in EI for other issues and the EI said that this was a behavioral issue not a developmental issue, FWIW. It sounds like a learned behavior -- he had one bad experience (I'm guessing) and now he's freaked out.

We've gone through stages of my son being weird about stuff (including praying). We usually just say we're going to do this and you can participate or not, but you will not disrupt. If he does, he goes to time out because he's being rude. But I think I'm a weirdo because I also don't allow my child to not say goodbye when we leave places (it's a manners issue for me - I don't care if you are shy, if you can't say bye and thank someone we won't go to places where it's required - natural consequence) and that doesn't seem to be a popular opinion. I just always try to play the tape to the end -- what you are describing is avoidable now, but if not addressed now could become fairly limiting. Like can he not attend birthday parties? What about his own? I personally would either really work with him on it or seek a behavioral specialist.

Ok, so your son is so Blue Ivy at the 2018 Grammys! Everyone has their quirks. Since you can’t police enthusiasm I’d try to work with him on how to cope when a celebration is simply unavoidable. My kid can scope out a button in a nano second and gets bent out of shape if he doesn’t get to see the garage door go down. We are working on being easy.

@LCTBQE: I'll wall you!

@LCTBQE: personally, I would probably just give it a bit of time. He will probably move onto something else weird in a bit! I also think from your other thread that this all sounds like normal stuff for his age and his daycare blew it way out of proportion, making you think something abnormal is going on with him when it’s really the daycare that was super weird about it all. I would totally do the same thing if I was in your situation so I get it.

If he’s very verbal and understands, I would just go over it with him repetitively beforehand if you know there’s going to be a celebration: ‘parties are usually fun times but sometimes they might be loud or people sing. You are safe even if you might feel scared. You could put your hands over your ears or find an adult to sit with if you feel upset’ I’ve even found that during scary things, my son does really well when we make it seem silly. Like ‘look at those funny kids clapping their hands! How funny Bahaha!’ And you could create a silly hand clap or something that he finds funny. That might help reframe it for him. I will say that at now 4 years old, my son understands things much more and articulates specific feelings (‘I felt sad when we had to stop playing that game!’) than when he was 2.5/3 but I think it’s worth a shot for you to verbalize it and talk about it. I’m not sure how you could find a therapist but maybe your doc might be a good place to start if you want some reassurance.

@LCTBQE: I wonder if maybe another student at daycare got into trouble for being way too wild at a celebration; so maybe he's worried about getting in trouble?

My son sounds similar. He just turned 4. Ever since he was 2 though, he didn't like singing time at the church nursery, the radio in the car, or us singing/listening to music around the house. He covered his ears when we sang happy birthday to him last month. My opinion is that he'll grow out of it. If it is optional, I'll ask his opinion (like radio in the car) and sometimes he'll just want a station switch and he'll be fine, and sometimes we turn it off, but if it isn't optional (like his birthday) we just power through it and let him cover his ears.

@LCTBQE: Hello friend! I can’t write much as I’m on my phone, but wanted to say yes my little boy was like this but it was only a phase that lasted six months or so (around 2.5-3ish). It was not a real issue, more of just perplexing (& a bit hilarious in other times like his daycare farewell where he was pretty much bawling the whole time ). Also feel your pain regarding real life friends who just think it’s weird. Ours resolved and he now loves celebrations and I remember him singing really nicely at birthdays etc. He says now that he was just shy ️ P.S. hope you’re well and little miss is behaving for you too ️

A little bit similar: My DD hates when people cheer her on &/or chant her name. The first time this happened she sullenly looked down at her plate & wouldn't budge until everyone went back to their own thing. After that, she often gets angry & yells "don't cheer me up!" Lol! She enthusiastically cheers other people on, but does not like to receive the cheers. This is the ONLY instance where she doesn't like attention, so it really surprised us!