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Could you send her a video about the safety issues with FF'ing infants? I would just talk to her about it. Ask why they bought a different seat. No way I'd let my kid ride FF. I still have my 31 mo RF so I'm pretty extreme about it.

@Tanjowen: Is it feasible for you to offer to buy them a base that they could just click the seat into? That way it stays in their car and they just have to plop the seat in.

What is their reason for having it forward facing? I presume the seat they bought CAN be rear facing, right? Does your mom think forward facing is safer for some reason (in which case facts might sway her)..? Or do they not know how to install rear facing (offer a lesson?)?

@Tanjowen: yea i think the why is important. and probably (as much as possible) trying to not get upset at least initially in the discussion. I think you have good responses for any possible answer. "I think it is safer" (Let me show you eleventy billion facts as to why it is not). "I don't know how to put it in the other way" (I will show you the right way). "I think baby is uncomfortable" (he's fine in our cars/too bad). "I don't like that I can't see his face" (I will order you a mirror on amazon. It will be here in two days and I will install it for you). "I think you're being overprotective" (That's my right as a parent and since you don't have a good reason not to, humor me). Ending of course with--- we can discuss it so you understand why we require this, but he is my kid and anyone who drives with him must install the car seat the way I feel is safest or they don't drive with him. Ever. No exceptions. Sorrynotsorry.

@Mae: boom!

I am so sorry you are going through this! I'm only 4.5 months pregnant and my mom and grandma are already starting on the same kind of thing, where they want / expect us to use the old baby gear they have that is very outdated and no longer safe (such as drop-side cribs and 30 year old high chairs). When I tell them that we are completely against using it, for safety reasons, they say "Oh well, the baby will just use it when he's at our house then!"

The only thing that's seemed to make ANY difference for us has been presenting them with safety numbers. They always say "You and your siblings / cousins used it and you're all fine," but when I can respond with the number of injuries and even deaths that the older, unsafe gear has caused, there is nothing they can say.

I lot of my older family thinks that we, and other new parents, are too "over-protective," and that what worked for them as new parents should be good enough for us. They don't seem to realize how much the infant mortality rate has decreased as a result of safer products.

Maybe if you point out to her that you are sure she loves your baby as much as you do and only wants the best and safest for him, and how a rear facing car seat is objectively and unarguably so much safer, she'll start to understand.

Good luck!

I would say something non-confrontational like 'hey i noticed LO has a new car seat and it's FF, but the new recommendations are that he needs to be RF until 2. Can DH re-install it for you?" and see what she says. If she starts in on the FF part, you can mention some safety points and just clearly and calmly state that this is what you'd like and that's it, period. You don't have to negotiate on this. State that she will rear face him or that X is the consequence.

We just bought MIL a new extended rear facing car seat to help mitigate the same issue we could have been facing (using expired cousin's FF seats)

Honestly I'd just state you want to keep him RF until at least 2 and that's it non-negotiable. My parents don't understand why I want to keep my LO rear facing either but they wouldn't turn the seat behind my back! If they wouldn't respect my wishes, I wouldn't want them looking after my LO. I think you need to have a serious talk with them but be prepared that you might have to find alternative childcare.

@Ash: I know - after seeing that video how could you NOT put your child RF?

@Tanjowen: My parents rarely drive my son around, but I had a similar issue with them when they bought a car seat for their car. They were okay with it being installed rear-facing, but definitely had issues getting it installed correctly. I just kept insisting and even said "Give me your manual, give me the car seat manual, I will make sure it's installed correctly so you don't have to worry about it!" My mom was all "OMG, you are being soooooo dramatic! It's amazing you even survived childhood because I was NOT this particular!" but I just stuck to my guns and let her roll her eyes at me and I felt a bazillion times better once I knew that car seat was installed rear-facing correctly in their car!

@Tanjowen: Glad to hear something got through to them, even if it is ridiculous that insurance is what it took.

These sorts of threads do make me appreciate my mom more. She drives me nuts on a lot of things, but she's 100% willing to do what we say, especially on safety issues.

@Tanjowen: I didn't read all the comments so maybe this was already mentioned but, can you take her to the local Fire department and have them check the seat and installation? Maybe they will have some input that will impact her choice.

@Tanjowen: That's great news!

I'm always that dick who, when people get on my case about being overprotective or anal or whatever term they want to use regarding how I feel about car safety, I tell them sharply that my brother died in a car accident and it shuts them up really fast.