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@meadow: Sounds like my house but I only have one toddler! I’d do exactly what you suggest - tell them only babies who sit nicely and quietly get the story and song privileges. You will have to follow through - but I bet 2 nights of no story or song and they’ll get it!! Option 2 - sticker chart. That solves 99% of our problems (though I fully recognize it is bribery)!

We will take away parts of the routine if she isn't listening. We don't do empty threats so she learned pretty quickly that we will actually follow through if we say we are taking away a story or a song. Our normal routine is two books and two songs, so we start by taking away one book. If she doesn't start listening then we move on to one song. These things can only be taken away during the bedtime process - we don't take them away during the day or for reasons unrelated to bedtime.

I felt really guilty taking books away because I think reading is so important BUT we read a ton during the day so I decided it was okay. I think we started at 2.5 or so, and now at 4 she doesn't have them taken away very often.

We often take away storytime for bad behavior--it is one of the few "privelages" a kid that age has! It generally works. We recently had major bedtime battles and did a sticker chart for my 4yo DD. I was incredibly dubious and always thought they were stupid but omg it worked immediately. I can definitely sympathize with how frustrating it is especially since bedtime can be so sweet for everyone. It's a phase, remember that! You're doing a great job.

@cam: love all of these ideas. Get your wiggles out can be super fun part of the routine with music, etc.

@meadow: we do bath/shower befor e so that maybe is what helps calm the kids but 1) yes we have taken away bedtime story, reluctantly, when one or two kids just wasn't listening at all, and yes it worked, and 2) any kind of activity encouraging running jumping dancing etc would totally just rile my kids up.

@meadow: yeah I think bath can go any which way.. Bedtime can be chaos around here too. But mostly it's in the range of normal so I don't think it's something I need to try to change. My one year old mostly wanders around during story time, maaaaybe will read a board book with me, and my three and six year olds have outgrown that problem but my three year old can be a bit of a challenge to get him on task with getting dressed and all that.

Something you might try at this age is doing a song/chant type of book instead, just keep it at a slower pace. Or just shorten the books you're using to where they don't get much of a chance to run around. Or if your husband and yourself are both home you could even maybe separate bedtime although I wouldn't want them getting used to that personally. Or read them a book while they're in the bath (but warn them of the change first.)

Or just simply say sit down nicely/however you describe it to them if you want a bedtime story. If you don't sit down we'll just sing and go to sleep, and then follow through. Bet it doesn't take too many times doing that before they get it.

If nothing else and at all possible you may want to rotate responsibilities so you at least get a break from it!

Hope it improves. I'm sure we all go through this as moms but you have it x 2...BUT they will outgrow it!

Don't have time to read the other responses but just saying this was our exact experience now and we finally have been turning a corner at each 3. We typed out a visual schedule for him with pictures and we use that to go through the 7 steps to bedtime. After each stop we congratulate him and give high fives, any as a pretty good attitude about it. We also dropped his nap at exactly age 3 and while that is hard sometimes during the day time, it made bedtime so much smoother and 2 hours earlier.

The 1st one is supposed to be " clean up toys" but that got ripped before we put it in the frame. We play the clean up song on our phones for about 5 minutes.

I've read all of these responses with interest because I'm also struggling with bedtime for two 2.75 year olds. I don't have any great advice but I just wanted to chime in and let you know that you're definitely not alone! Sometimes I also feel like twins just makes the process even more frustrating - there are many nights when one of my girls will be cooperating and the other isn't and then we fall into chaos as the other one inevitably gets frustrated that her sister is interrupting the flow of bedtime. Argh!