Ok, so I'm a regular on HB, just need anonymity for the sake of my friend.

So my friend's son (A) is about 18 months older than my son (H). A has been fired from 2 daycares in about a 4 month span. It is all behavior related, she was constantly being called at work to come get him because he had hit, thrown, spit, screamed incessantly, etc. she was still fairly new at work and was worried about being fired (also missing some work getting arrangements made for a new place due to divorce.)

So while they were looking for new child care arrangements I talked to my sitter and she agreed to watch him along with H at my house. Our sons had played together before and got along well. A is a very very very smart child, and I thought maybe (along with some potential issues) was getting bored or needed more one on one than centers could provide.

In the meantime she has taken him for evaluation for any kind of disorders. The psychiatrist (I think? It was at a behavioral health center), said he believes H is ADHD, but they can't? or won't? diagnose or medicate until he's 5 (few months away). They recommended therapy and a center geared towards children with higher needs.

She has applied to get him in a couple places, but haven't really heard anything back yet in the 3 1/2 weeks A has been at our house.

Well my son is not having it anymore. He doesn't want A to come over anymore, cries at night about it. Says A is mean to him and teases him, calls him names, etc. I know some of it is H hasn't ever really had to share with others longer than a long weekend with his cousins, but the baby sitter does say she has to split them up frequently over squabbles and A is relentless with H sometimes. Also my son is picking up on some of A's mannerisms, and I am not having it.

So here is my predicament. I do NOT want to "fire" him from my house. She's already struggling, thinking she's a bad mom because they've had so many issues, they're divorcing (even thought that is not the sole issue like her ex likes to make them think), and I can't bring myself to cause her more pain and grief.

BUT I can't stand that my son is being teased so much, and isn't happy in his own home. I know my son comes first. I just feel so terrible.