I-Pad obsession « Hellobee Boards

Category:

I-Pad obsession

By charlotte Nov 4, 2017

Hey all. We have been having huge battles with our four year old son lately over the iPad. I'm at the point where I am ready to take it away for six months and then try again. Is that too extreme?

We set a consistent time limit every day and make it part of his routine, yet every single day there is a huge fight when it is time to put it away. When he isn't playing with it he talks about it and whines all day until it is time. The breaking point was awful behavior at a birthday party today, because he wanted to go home and play with it.

Has anyone else had this turn into such an issue and what did you do? We are basically just done and wish it was never invented. :bummed:

You might also enjoy...

Tags: ipad , screentime

20 comments

KT326
pomegranate / 3438 posts

Nov 4, 2017

We took ours away. It's not worth the battle to me. He gets a tv show either in the morning or at night and that's it. He becomes a monster with too much screen time (unless he is sick, then he can watch a movie).

ETA: we did have to hide it from him for awhile. Now it can be out and he doesn't ask.
cyndistar3
pomegranate / 3980 posts

Nov 4, 2017

We had some trouble with dd#1 wanting to spend all of her time on the iPad so we took it, she's now almost 9, her sisters are 5 and 3 and none of them play with it. We do some tv time in the morning or evening depending on what's going on but the dependency was more than I thought it would be and I wanted to nip that one early.
SweetiePie
honeydew / 7463 posts

Nov 4, 2017

We use the timer setting on the iPad and it basically turns off when it’s done. He rarely throws a tantrum if the timer goes off but if we just took it away out of nowhere he would lose his sh*t.
However we’ve used timers for everything (transitions) for a while so he’s very used to the concept.
He does ask for it when it’s not being used but we just try really hard to redirect him/distract. Sometimes it works better than others.
If it was a major problem, I also would have no problem cutting it out for a while. Maybe not 6 months but a month or two and see if that helps to reset things.
If you think you can manage 6 months and have no huge reason to use it (like travel) then go for it. I think for my own sanity 6 months would be too long, but that’s mostly selfish reasons.
petitenoisette
pear / 1521 posts

Nov 4, 2017

@charlotte: from what you've described I would 100% take it away indefinitely. It doesn't sound like it's a healthy activity for him at this point. I would probably be prepared with some extra/new non-electronic activities before taking it away.

My daughter is younger and she definitely get upsets when I take it away on the rare occasions we let her use one of ours. I have to distract her with something else so she doesn't tantrum. But she does not ask for it unless she sees us using it and usually not even then so I hope to continue to avoid it being a real issue.
misolee
persimmon / 1345 posts

Nov 4, 2017

We stopped cold turkey too when she was 4. Between iPad and watching shows, She was obsessed. I’m not that against screen time but she was getting so bad I had to nip it. We implemented tv Friday’s and she’s now 5. She looks forward to watching two shows on Fridays and iPad game time on Saturdays. That’s all she gets and she knows it bc it’s like a slippery slope for her.
2littlepumpkins
grapefruit / 4455 posts

Nov 4, 2017

When either of our kids has an issue like this we just go cold turkey for awhile! It hasnt been that often for our five year old, I think maybe twice? Our two year old we haven't even been able to consistently let watch short YouTube videos.. they cause meltdowns. We just had to take it away again and I'm not sure he'll get to try again anytime soon except if we are desperate (like at a dr visit alone with him.)
wrkbrk
pomelo / 5084 posts

Nov 4, 2017

@charlotte: Not there yet but I have no doubt we will be 🙄 don’t think six months is too extreme at all but you are brave if you can pull that off!! Good luck!!
catomd00
grapefruit / 4418 posts

Nov 4, 2017

We don't have this issue, but if we did it would go away. For a long time. It seems clear he isn't at a point where he can accept moderation, so I think just cutting it cold turkey is best here. Good luck!
charlotte
kiwi / 706 posts

Nov 4, 2017

I'm glad we aren't the only ones with this problem. We have gone cold turkey before and it was really nice for a couple months...but then he asked Santa to please bring his iPad back. I need a strategy for that one this year, haha. Can Santa bring back an iPad that only plays music? Somehow I think he would STILL be obsessed.

But in all seriousness - Like many of you I have nothing against screentime. I wish he could play 30 minutes, put it away, and happily do other things. Butttttt that's not happening and it has clearly become a stressor in our lives so bye bye iPad.

Let this be a warning to all...other lessons we have learned the hard way:
-a consistently enforced time limit is not enough to protect against iPad obsession!
-use the restrictions section from the general settings to your benefit before it's too late
-screen apps for problems ahead of time...in depth. I feel guilty about this. Of course we control the content and only let him use apps that were appropriate for his age level BUT I didn't realize how many apps have ads for OTHER games which may or may not be appropriate and lead to a "can we get this and that and this" situation. I'm pretty sure this is a huge part of my problem. In iPad world, there is instant gratification, getting new things with a click, and no boredom, ya know? Keep your iPads as boring as possible.

@misolee: love the idea of tv Friday's!! Something to look forward to!

Thanks for everyone's support. I'm hoping for happier times, and that Santa will tell him he doesn't have and iPads at the North Pole.
looch
wonderful pear / 26210 posts

Nov 5, 2017

My son's a little older, but he just got his iPad back after a month of not having it. I can't even remember the reason why I had to take it away...but we limit it in that he can only have it on the weekends. During the week, there is just no time for it.

We also tried a time limit and it tends not to work, as my son doesn't quite understand what 5 minutes means, but he does understand you can watch two more videos, or play 3 more rounds of racing (or whatever it is that he is doing).

As for the apps, I have found that most of the free ones have a ton of ads, and they're kind of good in that way as my son realizes that, and eventually deletes them.
nana87
cantaloupe / 6171 posts

Nov 5, 2017

We took it away indefinitely. Lo1 actually just got it back this week for the first time in 11 months because we were traveling and it’s going to be going away again once we get home
gotkimchi
nectarine / 2400 posts

Nov 5, 2017

@charlotte: this has been such an interesting discussion. We have a kindle kid for my 4yo and one thing I just realized is the games or apps don’t have ads which is great. We still have taken it away at times and we also tell her if you cry or whine about shows you don’t get them. It’s so hard because sometimes mom needs a break
ShootingStar
coconut / 8472 posts

Nov 5, 2017

I agree with taking it away for a while. We had to do that for a week or so with DS and it helped. When we brought it back we put more rules around it. So now during the week he can only have it after dinner until bedtime. And if he fights us on bed, he doesn’t get it the next day. Usually he’s fine though because he’s used to the routine.

We also don’t really do games. He watches PBS kids or Disney movies. He has a couple other apps but barely ever uses them.
charlotte
kiwi / 706 posts

Nov 5, 2017

@looch: the "three more rounds" example is a great idea and would definitely help with some arguing when we do give it back! As well as eliminating it during the week. It seems like lately we don't even have enough time on the weekend because of sports and birthdays and holidays so this is probably a good break point.

I will have to look into the kindle one. We love Amazon and I am so anti ad at this point. In our case ads make him want ALL THE THINGS

Another huge problem is Angry Birds specifically. A family member introduced it and we were distracted by our newborn and said "ok, fine" because we remembered it being pretty low key. NO. It has a billion games that go along with it and there's this "tower"? that opens every 24 hours or something like that. At that point he becomes insane wanting to check if the tower is open. We don't actually have time to use apps ourselves so I had no idea this was a thing. I 100% blame us for not playing the game ourselves and anticipating these issues. When our iPad does come back it will be very, very, very carefully curated. Im actually pretty embarrassed by this particular point because I feel like it reflects terrible parenting but want to share because I think it IS a very slippery slope. You need a break, you're busy with other kids, the age level seems appropriate ---- it's not enough. I urge everyone to be really careful what you allow before it takes over your household !!
hellobeeboston
honeydew / 7235 posts

Nov 5, 2017

@KT326: we were in a similar position with my older son. He was addicted! I took it away cold turkey for 3 months straight. And I only allow it now sometimes on the weekend and special occasions. It definitely helped to do it this way.

Now I see the obsession starting with my younger son and we try to keep it away as much as possible. Ugh!
Ajsmommy
pomegranate / 3355 posts

Nov 6, 2017

We don't have this problem (yet). But if we did it would go away for as long as was necessary.. if that was 6 months then so be it. We're not sticklers for screen time in our house though so maybe that is why we dont' have an issue. We have Disney Jr on once we get home, cleaned up, changed and I start to get dinner together. We watch an episode or two before bed (on our tv) while we snuggle on the couch.
snowjewelz
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts

Nov 6, 2017

When my almost 3 year old starts whining, I always take stuff away cold turkey and re-introduce after a while. I don't want her to not have screen time, and this has worked out for us.
sauerkraut
cherry / 196 posts

Nov 6, 2017

Oh my goodness. My 16 month old has just recently been allowed to sometimes watch short youtube videos on the ipad and I also usually show her some TV while cutting her nails to get her to sit still. She's started getting insanely persistent about asking to see the "animals" on the ipad or TV. Thanks for the reminder that this can be such a slippery slope!
I'm pretty sure I'd take a break from the Ipad in your case, if it's causing behavior problems or just getting downright annoying. Right now I'm trying to think up some creative alternatives to my nail clipping strategy so I'm not relying on screen time to accomplish a necessary task!
maddyz
persimmon / 1270 posts

Nov 6, 2017

Hide it. Be firm, put it away. I have found that it's just not worth the fall out. If there is fussing or whining about limits it's over. DS is 2.5 which is very different then 4. But whining like that is a total no go. I can't take it. Is the 30 minutes of quiet worth the hell of whining the rest of the day? Nope.
QueensBee
pear / 1718 posts

Nov 6, 2017

We hit rock bottom with my 4 year old LO's tv/ipad obsession this summer. We quit cold turkey for about two weeks. Luckily, it coincided with our family vacation to Vermont so we were busy doing other things to keep his mind off of screen time.

When we got home, I introduced a children's dvd player to him. I showed him how to use it and bought him a few simple Scholastic book dvds to start. He uses an egg timer to keep track of his own screen time- 30 minutes a day. I love the Scholastic dvds- they are books that have been made into short animations. They are entertaining and educational but sweet and simple, not nearly as addicting as the ipad. Now he has ownership over his device and takes a lot of pride in knowing how to use the buttons and how to use his egg timer.

This set up may not work for everyone but it's been working well for us! It still gives him some screen time (and me a break!), but it's not nearly as addictive for him.

Here are the links to the set up we use:
https://www.amazon.com/DBPOWER-Portable-Rechargeable-Battery-Charger/dp/B06Y5PBC7N/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1510022895&sr=8-2&keywords=dvd+player+kids

https://www.amazon.com/Animal-Tales-Scholastic-Storybook-Collection/dp/B017S3Z1XM/ref=sr_1_2?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1510023197&sr=1-2&keywords=scholastic+dvd&dpID=51TzW5qYq5L&preST=_SY300_QL70_&dpSrc=srch

https://www.amazon.com/Sunbeam-61040-Timer-60-minutes/dp/B000I18PHG/ref=sr_1_cc_3?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1510023216&sr=1-3-catcorr&keywords=egg+timer

	Today	Monthly Record
Topics	0	1
Posts	1	3

Hellobee Boards

I-Pad obsession

You might also enjoy...

Reply

most popular tags

most recent archives

Recent Blog Posts

Recent Board Posts

Classifieds

Deals

Today's Leaders

Children's Media/Screens

Today's Posts

Site Basics

Features

Series

The Team

More