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@FaithFertility: YES that's a perfect quote!
I still struggle with bitterness every day but I really hope I can get past it. Especially IRL. I've totally alienated some people out of bitterness and pity for myself. They did nothig wrong to me, but I still feel wronged. I hope I can get past it! -
@SweetiePie: I understand.....I think it is something we all deal with at times!!!Y
I do it to my own mother....she had 4 girls and could get PG on the drop of a dime...lolIt is hard for her to understand IF and she thinks she knows it all in the medical world....so I understand alienating people, because I do it to her at times, because I am selfish and don't feel like explaining why I am doing what I am doing for the 1,000 time...
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@Leialou: Sounds busy for sure, have lots of fun!
@Mrs. Polish: I hope that you are ovulating. Have you changed anything lately?
@Shutterbug: Thanks! Sounds like your stims are going well, your ER will be here in no time!
@bluestriped bee: Hope AF arrives so you can get started on your IUI
@SweetiePie: OMG, I could not stop laughing earlier....I think it is awesome that you watch My Strange Addiction!
@Mrs. Pinata: LOL, sometimes boys are sooooo silly!
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@SweetiePie: Good for you to have that perspective! I'm always working on it, but it's hard to not have twangs of jealousy at times.
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@MrsTal: Try not to worry to much just remember that even if there is something wrong it will at least provide you with some answers...
@LindsayInNY: Good luck testing this weekend
@bhbee: Wanding is the best way to spend your time right?!
You are a few days behind me, good luck with your IUI@ShayNanigans: Welcome! I hope this IUI is the one for you
@FaithFertility: Thanks!
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@ShayNanigans: Welcome! But, I'm sorry for all that you've been through. I can't imagine getting a BFP and then having a miscarriage.
I hope you're successful with IUI and don't have to move on to IVF!
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@SweetiePie: @FaithFertility: I couldn't agree with both of you more, I stay away from those threads but even when they bother me I try and remind myself that I was one of them before 25 more cycles went by.....
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@ShayNanigans: welcome. I hope this IUI is it for you!
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@LindsayInNY: I feel like I'm finally ready to move forward it's been a year and a half and nothing has happened. I know it's hard. I got my referral last April didn't go until September, did my blood work right away and then waited until now to do the HSG. It's really a process.
As for the POAS threads I feel you, I get really depressed and angry with those. I stay away but sometimes during the TWW my hopes are high and I will take a peak.
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@ShayNanigans: welcome! Good luck with the upcoming iui!
@LindsayInNY: I'm one of your biggest fans! Good luck this weekend!
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@FaithFertility: I have a hard time waiting for betas... I always end up POAS!
And the POAS threads... Like @lindsayinny I know I am just doing it to myself! Pretty sure aim one of the longer running ladies.
I'm try hard to keep up a healthy emotional outlook, but as you all know... That's not really so easy every day!
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I posted earlier today about the non stop rain in FL flooded roads and all today....well
I got a RAIN day no school in my district tomorrow....wahoooo no work for me!!!!!!!
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@FaithFertility: ahhhhh I'm so jealous! I'm working from home but it's still work and it sucks
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@ShayNanigans: welcome, and I hope your stay here is brief. How far along are you in the TWW now? I've never heard of a mispositioned ovary--does it cause you pain?
@sweetiepie: that is a good attitude, and I do think being as positive as possible is important! I don't avoid the POAS altogether--I probably scan through once every few days to see if someone I "know" has gotten a BFP. It's better for me not to participate and linger though.
@faithfertility: enjoy the day off! I feel like a kid when school is cancelled. Not a fan of the delay though--I just spend the entire day trying to remember my new schedule and it throws everything off!
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@MrsTal: I don't know when I'm really going to feel "ready" to move forward. I guess I have to stop being in denial first? I just count up my cycles and tell myself it's really only been that long instead of how many months it's been. And then I ignore the untimed BD cycles to see how many "well timed" cycles it's been. I'm insane, LOL. But, at my annual exam in September, my doctor said to come back in December or so at the one year mark. She gave me a progesterone RX so I told myself I'd go back to her when I'm out of the RX, which would be next month. We'll see how I feel then though...
@SweetiePie: Thank you
You're my POAS twin this month... Maybe that means good things!!
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@Happygal: Yeah, up until this month I was the same. Particularly because I couldn't participate in the POAS thread myself, I didn't really want any part of it. I avoided and read the BFPs with bitterness. I was just sad that all of these 'normal' women were able to just have sex and POAS. I even feel out of place on the IF boards sometimes because we actually have to ABSTAIN from sex around ovulation or use protection! For us, getting pregnant naturally is a bad thing. Whereas, in the more "traditional" definition IF, you can still keep trying naturally during or after treatment if you want to and if it happens then its a miracle and a good thing...for us it is just bad...naturally will result in miscarriage, fatally sick baby, etc. I miss having sex with my husband without being scared. I'm definitely not saying my version of IF is worse than anyone else's, its just different. And even though we're all going through IF and treatments, I still feel like I'm not in the same boat sometimes. But I still feel more at home here than anywhere else
(Sorry for the siderant).I guess that this month I am really excited to join the POAS thread because I've been unable to join since June! Even though its via IVF, I'm still happy that I can actually pee on something this month and have a BFP be a good thing
In the last few months I've had to POAS a few times and I was so afraid to get a BFP and that is just a horrible feeling @LindsayInNY: I know! We've never been POAS twins because our cycles are different, but mine has been thrown off of my usual by all of the meds. If I had to POAS with anyone, I'm glad its you
And even if I don't get my BFP I'll be THRILLED if you do!ETA: When I say 'traditional IF' what I mean is inability or difficulty to get pregnant. I think that is how most people think of IF - not being really fertile but unable to have a healthy baby naturally. That's the boat I'm in, and I think that some people would never even think of that as IF. Which is why I consider myself 'nontraditional'. Not sure if that makes sense.
Just wanted to clarify that I don't mean 'traditional' to mean 'trivial'. -
@LindsayInNY: I don't think that is insane at all. In fact, I think it's good to only count the cycles where you know the timing is right! I think that when you're ready to move forward, you'll know it. I'm hopeful you'll be getting your BFP soon and won't need to take the next step.
@SweetiePie: I'm glad you feel at home here b/c I enjoy your comments and updates! Have fun at the POAS thread. I know a lot of people feel supported there and have fun with it, and I'm glad you can do the same!
On a side note--I was thinking about starting a thread where we can share IF history/diagnosis. I feel badly when I can't remember everyone's treatment history and diagnosis and try to comb through past threads to refresh my memory. I like that this thread is focused on current updates and conversation, but think it could be nice to have a thread documenting more details....does that make sense?
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@Happygal: I think that's a good idea!
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@LindsayInNY: Oh and I also wanted to say that even though it can be scary to take that next step towards an RE/treatment, you might feel better once you do.
When I first got my diagnosis, I was in denial that I needed IVF w/PGD to have a baby. I was like "umm, no. That doesn't make sense. I can get pregnant. We'll just keep trying." But my husband insisted we see a genetic counselor and then forced me to make appointments with an RE. I was actually really resistant to it at first, it seemed so...drastic? Once I got past the fear and worry about taking the next step, it all made sense and got very exciting. It felt like I was finally doing something (after months of waiting and wondering) to get our baby.
I also think that talking to your doctor or an RE doesn't mean you HAVE to start any kind of treatment. You can just listen and then decide.So yes, take your time if you're not ready. And if/when you are, you know you have lots of support and advice here
Hopefully this is all just idle chatter because you end up with a BFP this weekend -
@Happygal: I second @shutterbug! I think that's a great idea too. Its definitely hard to keep track of each persons diagnosis and journey to IUI, IVF, etc. I know it is buried somewhere, but a thread dedicated to that is a good idea!
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@SweetiePie: good points. I was nervous to make that first appointment and it felt like such a big deal. I remember the receptionist asking why I was calling, and I stammered, "Ummm....fertility?" I know now the more appropriate answer would have been to say I wanted to set up an initial consultation! We did all the testing right away, but didn't move forward with medication for many months afterwards.
Okay, I'll get that thread started at some point today!
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I love reading these updates
@Shutterbug: @mrswin: @bhbee: I'm excited for you ladies!!
@SweetiePie: I am unbelievably grossed out by that show and all of the things you just mentioned that people could get addicted to. Ugh.... // Also, I seriously
your attitude @ShayNanigans: hi there, welcome! I'm sorry about your loss. I hope your stay here isn't long
@LindsayinNY: good luck this weekend!
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@Happygal: I love the idea of a background thread, it is hard to remember!!!!!
@LindsayinNY: I think you are doing what you feel is right with your TTC journey, everyone is different, will do things different, at the end of the day it's truly only you and your DH! I think that way a lot, this IUI around we only told our mothers we were doing it again, , because I didn't want to hear all the above or thoughts!
Hopeful you get your BFP :)))))
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@SweetiePie: Wow, I just read your above posts, and I wanted to say I couldn't imagine how that must feel!! I never think of IF the other way around where you most of the time you are worried about preventing it, even when you want a LO!
What I can say is that with you sharing your story you opened mu eyes and I have a friend that has a genetic disorder that her and her DH are carriers so they now to have LO#2 are in thay same boat, I talk to her abour our IF issues and never thinking since they do have a LO that they too if wanting #2 face this!!! I'm going to be more open to her if she wants to talk!
Thank you!
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@Happygal: No pain at all - my RE says my ovary is pulled really far up, so that eggs have a hard time making the jump from the ovary, into the fallopian tube. And of course... that's the ovary I usually ovulate from. I'm at 2dpo today, and I'm supposed to take an HPT on Monday, Jan 20th.
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@FaithFertility: Oh I'm so glad that my story has helped you relate to your friend
I'm not sure what their chromosomal abnormality is, but it is definitely devastating. Not to be a broken record since I've said this in other threads before, but we have extremely high odds of conceiving a very ill LO if we do it on our own. If I pass on the 'bad' part of my chromosme (which is more likely than not) we have 90% chance of miscarriage. Of the 10% chance we don't miscarry, its still a 90% chance that we either have a stillborn or a baby that doesn't make it past the first year of life. Pretty grim odds.
So, while its really easy for me to get pregnant (both times first try), it would actually be an awful thing to happen naturally, now that we know.
I'm not sure how severe your friend's condition is, but it couldn't hurt to ask her sometime how TTC is going and see what she says from there. She might not want to talk about it, so let her lead. -
@ShayNanigans: Wow, I've never heard of that! Do you know how common it is?
Good luck with POAS on the 20th - that's my beta date, so hopefully it brings good things for both of us -
@SweetiePie: I do not know how common it is! My RE says it happens sometimes. The "threads" (not sure what the clinical terms is) can be pointed in a wonky direction as a result of position, and send the newly ovulated egg off into "outer space" instead of into the fallopian tube. I had never heard of this before either - totally wackadoo.
Oh fun! It looks like you did IVF this cycle? (I am still getting to know everyone's backgrounds - I should check out that background thread that it looks like someone had been planning to start!)
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@Happygal: Good idea on that thread! I do wish HB had a spot in the profile where we could list our fertility treatments. Maybe I should suggest it.
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@SweetiePie: She is open about it, but doesnt say much about their TTC jorurney as I suspect doesn't want to hurt my feelings,
I think like I said before I'll be more open to her and let her lead the discussions and not talk about my IF but listen to her's!!!!
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@FaithFertility:
How's your "rain day"?
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@SweetiePie: Productive day...lol FINALLY took Christmas tree down with DH help and we are planning on what to this evening!
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@bluestriped bee: reading through your post on the IF history thread we really have such similar stories! We're the same age, have been trying for roughly the same number of cycles, both never seen a BFP, both our DHs have low morphology.
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@Shutterbug: Hello twin!
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Had a good cd11 wanding today - two 16ish follicles. So I'll probably trigger tomorrow night for iui on Tuesday! Yay!
I'm mostly happy not to need another early morning wanding ...
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@Happygal: Yes, I also think a thread with people's backstories would be good. I wish there could be more info on our profiles, but maybe that would be just as good of a route too.
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@bhbee: Yay, I love your term ...lol
Nothing starts the day like a good old wanding....lol...I am a week behind you I go on next Saturday for my wanding CD12!!!
When will you know if you trigger tomorrow??? Yay, to IUI Tuesday!!!!!!! -
Looks like my IUI will be tomorrow at 11am! I have 3 follicles and my lining still looks good. Plus it is a weekend so neither my SO or I have to miss any work which is a bonus!
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@bhbee: Me too! Good luck with your trigger, do you have to do it yourself or do they do it at the RE's office?
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@FaithFertility: the nurse usually calls in the afternoon to finalize your schedule and instructions. But the dr who did the wanding said she thought Sunday.
@mrswin: I trigger at home - they do 36 hrs before iui so it's late evening for a mid-morning iui. The pharmacy has great videos on self injecting which is nice.Edit - just got confirmation for Tuesday morning! I'm suddenly feeling optimistic about this one
You are a few days behind me, good luck with your IUI
I hope you're successful with IUI and don't have to move on to IVF!
I'm try hard to keep up a healthy emotional outlook, but as you all know... That's not really so easy every day!
You're my POAS twin this month... Maybe that means good things!!
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