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Um, yes, lol. I SAH so naturally I do more around the house. I don't know when the last time is that DH cleaned a toilet or swiffered the floors...? We do have a bi-monthly cleaning lady which is huge. And he does offer to go grocery shopping, but it's easier for me to do it, since I do all the cooking. He does help clean up the toys at the end of the day and helps with the dishes. And he does 100% of financial responsibilities, which is HUGE and I would hate hate hate to do--so it's even. The one area where I wish he would help more/change is just NOTICING messes--like he'll help clean up toys, but he'll leave random ones scattered about, which to me is not really doing the whole job, Or he'll put away a few pieces of laundry but leave the rest. Or wash teh dishes but leave the counters a mess. So I feel like I always need to add on to what he's doing.

@mrsjyw: yeah...I feel like that is the exception rather than the rule, and TBH I'm really okay with it. In my downtime, I'm at home, so if there's a mess to clean up I'd rather do it than leave it for DH and have to look at it all day. I think for us, the bigger issue is our different standards for mess and recognition of when things need to be done--so I think he'd be willing to help out more, but I"m not willing to accept his standards!

As a side bar, there are so many SAHMs on a local mom group I belong to that think their DH should do ZERO housework because they "work" and they *just* stay at home with the kids. That mentality drives me CRAZY.

DH works 60 hours a week at a minimum and I work more like 15.... So yeah, I do so much more around the house. On the week nights he does dishes when I nurse DD before bed and he takes care of the yard work on the weekends. Everything else is on me. I'm ok with our balance though! Taking care of DD is my #1 priority during the day and housework comes next. DH is very understanding and never complains about the state of the house. If I need to drop DD off with my aunt and take an hour for myself, or get us both out of the house and that means the laundry doesn't get folded it's NBD to him. I would rather do more during the day so that we can all spend the time he is home together as a family. There are too many days where he doesn't get to see DD at all because he's gone before she wakes up and isn't home until she's asleep.

I only work very PT right now. I do most of the daily stuff and laundry. DH does a lot of the cleaning actually. He does the dishes right now too. I'd much rather do chores during the day than not. I go stir crazy trying to just play all day with DS and leaving a messy house. I had to do it for a week after having hand surgery and DS and I are much happier now that we can do house stuff together again.

So I don't think I *have* to do it all since I am home, but I'd rather do a big chunk of it and allow DH and I to have time to other things when he is actually home. And DS is at an age where it is fun to do it together.

I WAH, and DH WOH but with reasonable hours. I would say normally it's something like 70/30 on household, 60/40 on childcare. But I'm pregnant so he is doing as much or more than me around the house, and a lot just isn't getting done!

@regberadaisy: @mrsjyw: Meh, if it works for them I don't really understand having a problem with it as an outsider. With both kids, when I was on maternity leave I did all of the home stuff, because I had the time. I would rather do it while I was home all day and leave our weekends free for family time. That was the best part of maternity leave to me, not having to fill the weekend with chores. If I had decided to SAH full time I would have been fine with continuing that set up. When you SAHM you can multitask childcare and housework, but when you WOHM, you can't... so it's not really comparable to me.

I am a SAHM and my hubs works 50+ hours a week and often picks up side jobs as well (probably three or four times a month). I do all of the cooking, and most of the cleaning and laundry as well. He takes out the trash, vaccuums, and cleans out the cars. He will help me out when he is home if I ask, but his schedule is crazy (as a kitchen manager, he does a lot of split shifts and late night shifts). My toddler still naps 3 hours in the afternoon so I have lots of time to take care of our small apartment and cooking for three. I am currently pregnant with #2 (due 11/1), and have been SUPER sick- like in the emergency room, losing tons of weight I have been doing pretty much nothing around the house for the past month and my husband has totally picked up all the slack without complaining.

@mrsjyw: I will say that CURRENTLY I feel like I "owe" it to my husband to take care of the house, because he is the only one financially providing for us and I only have 1 baby to take care of so balancing house + baby while SAHM is pretty easy. It would definitely be different with 2+ kids. Plus, he does so much childcare when he gets home, it motivates me to finish any household tasks I didn't get to earlier in the day.

Yeah I do most everything inside the house. I do count that as a part of my job as a SAHM. I don't think that's 50s mentality at all. Taking care of lo takes up most of my time but I make time to cook and clean and all that because I consider it part of my job. If my husband helps that's awesome, I'm not like, pushing him into an easy chair with a cocktail in my hand for him

I WOH and DH is home during the day. He works short hours in the evenings/weekends.
I pretty much do all the housework (cooking, cleaning, etc.) and take care of J (baths, putting away his clothes, etc.). I will say that DH drops off and picks up our laundry (we don't have laundry in our building) and does most of the dish washing.

I wish it were a little more balanced but we're both comfortable with different levels of organization and... well, I just can't deal with a dusty counter top or dirty rug, so I end up cleaning it.

I sah and during the week, I do most of the household stuff, when I can, but we are still very much adjusting to life with two and I can't say I'm doing a great job of housework. On the weekends DH has actually been really great with cleaning and organizing to make it easier during the week. Hopefully as things settle down I'll be able to take care of more during the week though.

However I made it clear before we even had kids that my number one job would be taking care of our kids, the house work stuff would come second.

@mrsjyw: @regberadaisy: I also don't understand when moms say their husbands don't need to help overnight at all because they have to go to work. It's one thing if you have one kid and they nap and mom can nap with them, but with two, I never get to nap or a break during the day. At this point night wake ups are pretty much just nursing and back down so I handle all that but if she is up and screaming and won't settle, yes he helps. He gets to leave during the day! But that's just us and he agrees so there you go.

We have sort of a weird work balance. I WOH part-time (3 days a week in the office). DH works 2-3 days a week outside the home (12 hour days with a 150 mile roundtrip commute), and then works from home 3 days a week, plus he works in his office most nights from 8pm until 11pm or 12am. We pretty much take Sunday off as a family.

I end up doing most of the household stuff in terms of keeping things rolling on a day to day basis. I meal plan, shop, cook, do the day to day cleaning, laundry, daycare bags, etc. DH has some more flexibility in terms of schedule on the days he works from home, so he'll handle things like letting handymen in, or dropping off packages, or daycare pickup and drop off. He's also on his computer like all day long, so he handles all the bills. He helps me keep up with the house with some set chores (garbage, recycling, gassing up the cars, car maintenance), but mostly by taking DS to the park or playing with him when I'm trying to do stuff around the house or cook. I would say most nights DH takes over most of DS' care from dinnertime to bedtime. It not only helps me immensely, but they have a pretty consistent father-son routine every day where they can spend quality time together despite DH working 100+ hours a week.

Its working really well for us, but I'm due with our 2nd in a few weeks, so we'll see how this all ends up working with a 2nd baby in the mix though!

@SweetiePie: "He's not proactive" Yeeeeessss! I have some of the same exact frustrations. I work full time and DH is a stay at home dad to our twins. I know he works his ass off all day, they are exhausting. However, I've also worked my ass off all day too and hate that often to get him to do something, I have to specifically ask him. And it isn't like I'm asking him to read my mind. For instance, if it's time to put the girls to bed or we're going somewhere and need to get out of the house, he knows all the different steps it takes to make it happen. I shouldn't have to direct every action. I feel bad griping because he's an amazing dad and does so much, but, a little bit of proactiveness would go such a long way!

@mrsjyw: But staying at home isn't the equivalent to a work out the home job. They differ in so many ways, what is the point of trying to equalize them? In my opinion, all that happens when you start trying to compare is that you do a disservice to both groups.