Hellobee Boards

I haven't gone through IF myself, but I can definitely see why all three of those statements as well as the one you added above would drive anyone crazy. I really don't think people should offer any commentary on someone's IF struggle, other than something to the effect of, "I'm sorry you're going through this." I think when people hear about something as difficult as IF they struggle to find something to say to make it better, and end up saying something that is irritating and possibly even hurtful.

ETA: And "maybe it wasn't meant to be" is just the worst. It's almost like the people who tell you a death was "God's plan." I don't find that kind of stuff comforting.

OMG if anyone ever told me "maybe it wasn't meant to be", I'm pretty sure I'd slap them.

Anything that begins with "Have you tried--" is always a bad question. A slight change in word order ("What have you tried?") and asking an open-ended question can make such a big difference! BIL (younger than us, unmarried) asked me if I've tried "this temperature thing" which seems to work for everyone he knows. I tried not to laugh.

@ineebee: ack, did she have pregnancy induced amnesia or something??

My MIL liked to remind me that her goddaughter had it worse than I did even though we both had to go through IVF. Her medical problems were different from my issues and my DH's issues. She wasn't able to get pregnant and ended up adopting but I still didn't want to hear about how someone else had it worse than me. We both had difficulties and obstacles to overcome.

I am so tired of being told that since we've adopted that I'm probably already pregnant. It happens, but adoption does not change fertility.

@ineebee: Yes! To "don't stress about it". When I'm talking to my mom she says that. Like you I'm just casually doing the IF roll call of activities. Knowing what's going on with my body shouldn't count as "stressing".

I'm tired of people who got pregnant in 3 months with easy, healthy pregnancies telling me about random people the know who have taken longer than me to get pregnant. I realize that many people have gone through much more than we have, but that doesn't make our struggles any easier.