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He encourages me to get out and do things on my own or with my friends. He comes home for lunch most days, which helps break up my day and saves us money, too. He does the bulk of bedtime and pretty much splits other parenting tasks with me 50-50.

My kids are older, so some of this won't apply to you yet!

Usually DH is coming home right as I'm getting dinner ready for the kids, so it's really helpful for him to distract the kids (usually by doing art or playing in basement) while I finish that. Being really attentive to the kids while they eat is a big help. Meal times are so full of drama right now with plate dumping and cup throwing, so one of us has to watch them like a hawk to curtail that behavior. I'm just tired of doing it for two meals already so it's his turn. DH does bathtime entirely on his own, although I take one of them as soon as they are ready to get out. DH also does most of our grocery shopping (on his own, without the kids). He also does the dishes once the kids are in bed for the night every day.

The biggest thing that helps is for DH to be attentive when he is home. Sometimes he falls into the habit of coming home and immediately getting on his computer to work remotely. When he does that the kids get antsy and start crying for me, even if he's supposed to be "on duty" while I cook or work on laundry or something. It's frustrating to me when he says "oh they just want you," when really what they want is someone's undivided attention! The biggest way he can help pick up the slack in the evenings and weekends is giving him his attention so that I can relax a little bit. It can be exhausting and frustrating and isolating to be a stay at home parent to twins! Especially when A and B were little, we never got out of the house which can get depressing day after day. It really helps when DH is up for adventures on the weekend since I don't get out as often as I'd ideally like throughout the week.

@twodoghouse: good point on willingness to get out of the house on weekends. We usually go do something one day and stay home the other.

Totally agree with @twodoghouse on pay attention! DH can't seem to figure out that she's not a tiny preemie who just needs someone nearby anymore. And sometimes she is fine to play by herself, but not always. Sitting by her playing on your phone is not taking care of her!

Taking the baby is 100% what I need. Just being able to pump for a couple sessions per day without worrying that she's going to freak out and need to be picked up halfway through is such a relief. And to be able to eat without interruption, etc. Personally I actually prefer he not do any cleaning or anything. I don't mind doing it, and any time he's cleaning I'm still stuck with the baby.

DH comes home in time for dinner, and we eat as a family in the dining room. He pitches in and helps get the kids fed and washed up. He plays with them for a bit before starting bedtime. We try to tackle the bedtime routine together, but sometimes I let him take over as I clean up downstairs. After the kids are in bed, he helps me put away food and pack lunch for the next day.

On weekends he does encourage me to take time for myself. Sometimes it's as simple as going to the grocery store by myself or enjoying breakfast in bed.

When my husband comes home, he usually plays with DD so I can finish making dinner. Then he always lets me eat first if DD is particularly needy that day. Also, he always cleans up after dinner. That is really helpful. Then we usually play with DD together and do bedtime routine together. He does let me go out with friends every once in a while. I feel bad because he lets me go out, and the only time he gets to go out is when he goes to work.

Totally agree with whoever above said to take the kid(s) after dinner and give them undivided attention while I clean up from dinner. Whenever DH tries to help me clean up, it's actually not helpful at all because it means the kids are either in our way or irritating each other with no one watching. And yes, if he does the cleaning up solo, then it's just another X minutes that I am entertaining the kids, which I have done all day. I much prefer to clean quickly (and in peace and quiet!) while he has some alone time with the kids.

Another idea might be to ask him what sorts of things he considers helpful/valuable, since everyone's love language and ideas of a break are different. But no matter what he says, just do that from then on. Without asking! I hate that DH says he will do whatever as long as I ask (tell) him to do it. The last thing I want is another person in the house that I have to constantly manage.