Hellobee Boards

@Anagram: I agree with you, that it's somewhere between K-2nd grade that kids start to realize that the characters are someone in costume.

Have we ever seen an adult mouse walking down the street (outside of Times Square, lol)? Nope, but my son thought it was a real, because to him it is real in the sense that he can reach out and touch Mickey Mouse.

I think were it gets difficult for kids to realize/character versus real person is when you have a Disney princess, for example, whose face isn't obscured by a mask.

@Anagram: I don't just mean Santa, but a lot of the topics discussed on HB.

But to answer your question, no. I live in southern louisiana - the majority of people I know are Christian. I'm not ignorant to the fact there are different beliefs and customs out there. I'm just not affected by it much. My parents are immigrants from Central America so of course they had different customs. Santa was not a big deal to them.

@.twist.: every year when I see this question, I cringe. It typically turns nasty, unfortunately.

Santa is definitely not such a polar topic amongst my group of friends....

@looch: I think you make a great point about your son and Mickey. Mickey is real to him at this point in his development. I think age and development really matter when it comes to these sorts of things and how we treat them.

@blackbird: I don't even know what most of friends do IRL. I always ask their LO, "what did you get?" Not "What did Santa bring you?"

One of my coworkers was so excited when her 10 year old declared she knew Santa was not real after last Chrustmas, but was dismayed when she put on a front for her father trying to milk this Christmas for everything it's worth.

@Smurfette: I do know a few people who don't celebrate Christmas or Santa. Currently, they're adults who understand and wouldn't ruin it for our kids.

I'm not sure how I'll deal with the topic when it comes up with my own children. I'm actually kinda surprised our eldest still believes. He's 10 and I just thought someone would have spilled the beans to him by now but he keeps on believing! If the two older boys found out now, I'd be bummed, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. I'd be more bummed if L found out, but again, we'd move past it.

I'm an atheist and we still do Santa. In fact, we lie to our children all the time. About chocolate being gone, annoying toys being broken, how all those rocks you put in your pocket got lost when we were cleaning that one day....Santa just fits right in there will all those. And he makes my kids way more happy than me losing their pocket rocks.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I'm not sure I agree. I know for sure that when I was at the Santa believing age that I didn't undertand the nuances of why Santa came to some houses and not others (ie the differences between being Catholic and Jewish), I just accepted that it was what it was. I think it's the same with celebrating in different ways - I also never seriously questioned why Santa wrapped my presents but left my cousins presents at their house unwrapped. Or why the Santa doll at my next door neighbors house was black and ours was white. Perhaps I was just too accepting!

@Greentea: that's how my family was growing up. They thought Santa took away from the real meaning of Christmas. But I think that was somewhat normal for our "circle"--lots of people attending the same southern Baptist church where materialism was out and Jesus was in. We opened presents only after my dad read the story in the bible about Jesus's birth and the wise men visiting and bringing gifts (which they said is why we reenact giving gifts to each other)--and singing all of the accompanying Christmas carols.

My dad's side of the family doesn't even do Christmas trees because they are pagan in origin! Very, very religious.

@Madison43: I see what you mean; I didn't compare my gifts to my bff 's who also had Santa and I surely didn't grill her on her Santa preparations.

Wow! I never thought a thread like this would be so contentious. I grew up believing in Santa, but the focus was on Jesus. The only people I know who don't "do" Santa are super Christian. Otherwise, everyone I know does Santa (admittedly, I live in a very homogenous place, and my experience living in a more diverse place was within a very homogenous culture, though different from mine, where Santa was definitely in). I suppose many of the people I went to college with didn't celebrate Christmas, but certainly none of the people I went to college with believed in Santa

All that said, my family will take a similar approach to the one I had growing up. We will "do" Santa, but focus on the religious aspects of the holiday. If my children ever ask, I'll be honest with them, but when my parents tried to tell us when we were little, we refused to believe them--ha! So they played along.

When I was teaching, I'm pretty sure all my 2nd graders believed, and Santa even came to our school and delivered gifts (surely the older kids didn't believe, but appreciated the gifts anyway.) If any of my kids had started such a conversation, I would have squashed it (but of course, they could have had it without me around.) We also celebrated Kwanzaa as a school.

If someone tells my child Santa isn't real, I'll probably ask him how he feels about that and take his lead. If it feels like the right time to spill the beans, I'll ask him if he had fun celebrating Santa, and if he thinks we should let younger kids have that same fun by not telling them (he will have at least one younger sibling). Focusing on empathy for others and respect for their beliefs is a solid foundation for keeping the "secret."

Ultimately, it's no one's responsibility but my own. Of course, I hope kids aren't wandering around the playground saying "Santa isn't real" because their parents told them to or anything, but kids say crazy things! I know lots of families where older siblings believe and play along with younger siblings.

If my son ever asks why Santa doesn't visit someone's house, I'll discuss various beliefs and why some people choose to celebrate Christmas and other people don't. But we will have already had lots of conversations about varying beliefs, so we'll have a foundation to go from.

I always think it's weird when people say it's a "hellobee land" thing. I grew up with dozens of kids who didn't do Santa, and now I'd say maybe 30% of my mom friends don't do Santa with their kids either. It can't be that uncommon IRL.

I did not grow up believing in Santa (immigrant parents, totally different culture). So I knew he was not real.....but I also never blabbed to other kids who did believe in him! And my parents never told me not to tell other kids that he wasn't real either.

@Arden: I think people are saying this is only a "hot topic" in hellobee land.

My son is turning four in a couple of days and I feel like this year is probably going to be the hardest, because he goes to school and talks a lot BUT does not quite yet understand how to be sensitive to others' beliefs. So we are really in the danger zone right now. Honestly it is really hard for him to believe that Santa DOESN'T exist, even though we don't do Santa, because of what he sees and hears in popular culture and his life. I did get a perfect entree into the subject when he learned about Hanukkah at school, so we talked about how Jewish people don't believe in Santa, period. How lots of people have different beliefs. We have also talked a couple of times about how Santa is fun for some people to pretend, so we shouldn't say anything about Santa to the other kids because we don't want to spoil it. So far no one has accused us of ruining Christmas, so fingers crossed!!I feel like next year will actually be easier because he'll be a bit more mature.

We don't do santa and DD hasn't asked about him so we haven't had to explain! She can recognize him from seeing him on TV, books, my wrapping paper, etc though.
Will figure out how to approach it when she does ask. Definitely don't want her spoiling it for little ones who do believe!

@HabesBabe: My 2 .5 year old doesn't get it yet either. Like she doesn't realize what Santa is or does or care about presents much for that matter. She's such a chill kid. #1 plays along nicely for my sake

@anonysquire: just jokes to lighten the mood. Maybe most people don't remember the Church Lady on SNL... But I do and it makes me chuckle.

I am so totally with you! I always thought I were going to be anti-Santa-believing - I didn't grow up believing Santa was real, and I think it was cruel to lie and build up a dream for the little person you love the most in the world, and build them up for heartbreak down the road when they find out Santa is not real. However, now he is almost 3, I found myself lying too out of desperate attempt for him to behave (as in Santa knows if you are good or bad, and if you are not good you won't get gifts this year... etc). Sigh, so I may be giving into the franchise.

Back to your question I really don't know the answer to it! I guess I won't literally tell him if Santa was real or not. I just let him believe in whatever he thinks? I don't know!

Ultimately, I don't feel like it's my responsibility to have my kids keep Santa a secret for others. The parents who "do Santa" will have to come up with a way to handle it if their kids start hearing that Santa isn't real. However, I'm neither confirming nor denying Santa when DD asks. I am being vague because I don't want her to spoil it for her friends either.

On the flip side, it does irk me a bit when people ask my kids what Santa is bringing them. It shouldn't be assumed that every family has been participating in this tradition!