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I am a pretty pragmatic person who is also hoping for a natural birth. If I wind up with a c-section, I expect I will be disappointed, and I might even feel the way you do a bit. But I would probably, knowing me, focus on the fact that (1) If a c-section was not available as an option, mom and/or baby might not survive the birth; (2) I can't go back and change what happened, so I may as well focus on bonding with my baby now; (3) the baby is still your genetic child* and nothing can change that fact, regardless of how s/he made his/her appearance in the world.

*This will be the case for me, and for a vast majority of moms. It's NOT a commentary on surrogate moms, egg donors, adoptive parents, etc., but it might help the OP with her feelings which is why I mentioned it.

@2PeasinaPod: I may have seen your story before but forgotten.... minus the NICU (instead we had a jaundice baby, she was on light blankets for two days) this is exactly what happened to us, stuck head and all.

I pushed for three stinking hours before my c-section. I nearly gave birth both ways! It was a sucky, traumatic thing, and I do not look back on it fondly, but I'm only 4 months out. To be quite honest I don't think of it much at all...but when I look back at pics, I can see how happy we all were despite the trauma and pain. So yeah, I may not refer to it in happy terms, or even use the word 'give birth,' when I talk about it to others, but I know us c-section moms are *not* failures!!

@BabyMats: Are you me?!! Wow, we had the same exact birth experience!

@daniellemybelle: Congratulations, I didn't realise you had the baby. I am sorry you are struggling, your feelings are perfectly valid.

I must admit that this isn't something I struggled with. I was just glad the baby made it out and we were both okay. I was born by c-section myself and so I always knew that it was a possibility.

The recovery from c-section plus insanity of milk coming in and gushing everywhere whenever DD cried was more than enough to remind me that I gave birth hahaha.

Almost 17 months later and I still don't feel like I can say I gave birth and I find my self automatically correcting people that say I gave birth. I'm not even sure why, I am not that upset about it anymore but it feels more accurate to say that she was surgically removed.

@daniellemybelle: I hope you are able to heal in time and you most definitely gave birth to her. Don't ever doubt that. She grew inside of you, she's a part of you. I had a scheduled C-section because my baby was semi-breeched and I just had to have faith and trust that I would be in good hands in the process. I am so thankful and feel so blessed for modern medical technology that helped me become a mommy. My desire to be a mother exceeded any expectations I had for a smooth delivery or recovery. I was hoping and praying for the best but expected the worst really.

Although I had a great experience with my C-section and recovery, the very important thing is I have a healthy baby to hold, love, and care for. For 9 months, 39 weeks to be exact in my case, I knew she was growing inside me, felt her movements and kicks, and knew she depended on me for a safe haven to grow. On my toughest days, even with lack of sleep, I just look at her and think how amazing it is that she grew inside my womb. Our bond as a mother and child will last forever through time and space. Nobody can deny me my euphoric state of mind and ultimately the most important role of my life which is being her mother. I gave birth to my daughter via c-section and I am ecstatic that I am finally a mom.