Do you feel torn between the scars of your past infertility/difficulties and your optimism for this journey?
Do you feel torn between the scars of your past infertility/difficulties and your optimism for this journey?
nectarine / 2834 posts
Abso-fing-lutely! We are NTNP because mentally I don't want to try because of the road that led us down. Already having DD, I don't feel the same pressure as when we were TTC for her and I wondered if we'd ever have a child, but as friends start to get pregnant easily with #2 and we continue to not, it reminds me that we are just one of those couples that just has a longer journey to that BFP which is kind of tough to swallow.
GOLD / pomegranate / 3688 posts
@Tidybee: I totally had you in mind when I wrote this post.
We've only been TTC #2 for a couple of months and - to be totally honest - they have been pretty half-hearted attempts at "trying," but the whole process is making me realize just how heavily my past infertility weighs on me. When I see threads like the 6+ months TTC thread, I think, "Oh, that's for me!" and then I remember that I am only just beginning cycle 3... I feel oddly like I have no real home for my anxiety this go-'round.
nectarine / 2834 posts
@septca: ha yeah I totally agree. I'm already wondering when to start fertility treatments and I'm like - this is ridiculous, it's only been 2 cycles! it just seems like it took long (and medication) for the first one, we're just doomed to go that way again.
nectarine / 2834 posts
@septca: we can be anxious together We had each other the first go around and now we'll have each other again. cheeeeese.
cherry / 181 posts
I came here to specifically post on this topic- trying for 2nd after trouble getting pregnant with 1st- any interest in getting regular thread going on this?
GOLD / pomegranate / 3688 posts
@ParkerHaus: and @dagret: YES! Happy to join - we can use this or you can start another thread if you think that is easier. @SwedishFish also has a thread going for primary IFers now struggling with TTC #2, but it's definitely a bit more advanced than where I am (most of the women there are doing FETs or second IVFs).
grapefruit / 4235 posts
@septca: I did IUI for #1, UE IF, just getting used to the idea of "trying" again - We have 3-4 more cycles till we can go back to the RE...we aren't that advanced yet either.
cherry / 181 posts
@septca & @dagret: Yes, I was hoping for some other folks who weren't doing IUI or IVF (or not quite yet) as the journey with ART is different than when you aren't to that point or when your journey won't every include it.
What do you think- use this thread or start a new one?
nectarine / 2834 posts
@ParkerHaus: haven't seen you in a while!!
I'm still here...still trying for #2!
GOLD / pomegranate / 3688 posts
@ParkerHaus: This thread isn't very long, so it may make sense to just use this as a shell (rather than starting a new thread) - I feel like too many times people just start a new thread rather than looking for what is already out there (so kudos to you for finding this one!).
I'll start -
Cycle #: 7
TTC LO #: 2
LO(s) stats: one DD, 15 mo
Road to conceiving LO #1:
A few months after ditching BCP, started having excruciating pain around O and very light AFs. Ignored it, kept TTC. Finally saw a doctor and she and my husband convinced me to have a laparscopy to diagnose endometriosis (around cycle 10). Diagnosis confirmed, endo removed from around both ovaries and tubes. Discovered that both tubes had been blocked from day 1 of TTC. Cleared one tube during surgery, got pregnant soon thereafter (on cycle #13).
Road to conceiving LO #2:
Went on BCP to control endo shortly after DD was born - stopped taking it when she was 9 mo because I was having depressive side effects. HSG showed scar tissue and potential blockages on the bad tube, good tube is still open and clear. Had wonky cycles until I stopped BFing. Struggle to find the time and energy to achieve good timing while chasing after a toddler and working full time. Conceived on cycle 6 (last month), ended in a CP. If we don't get KU within the next few months, my doctor will start pushing IVF.
Mostly, I am having a harder time with TTC and my CP than I expected to... I feel like I already paid my dues and this just isn't fair. I know everyone feels this way, I am just venting.
coconut / 8475 posts
Hey ladies!
It's funny because MANY of you were with me on WB and HB in our "fall mommas" due date board as well as the October Boards.
Here we go:
Cycle #: 13
TTC LO #: 2
LO(s) stats: DS1 = 19M (fews days shy)
Road to conceiving LO #1:
8m natural TTC (was on metformin though but that was not just for the purpose of TTC)
Road to conceiving LO #2:
HSG, SA, U/S, B/W, max dose of METFORMIN, 5 ROUNDS CLOMID, SOME PROGESTERONE AND B/C, AND MORE TESTING with RE.
It is our 13th month and right now we are looking to move on with iui but need to make sure my uterus is clear and well shapened before doing so, so this month is chock full of vaginal and abdominal u/s & testing for me.
ETA: Sorry my text keeps going to CAPS; I don't know how or why it chose to do that?
cherry / 181 posts
Cycle #: -2 (starting TTC in July)
TTC LO #: 2
LO(s) stats: one son turning 1 in a week. EEP!
Road to conceiving LO #1: I have low progesterone and low thyroid. My dr also started to suspect mild PCOS- but i got pregnant before we fully investigated that. We were working on my hormone levels from day one TTC. It took 15 cycles for everything to click- with lots of work (tons of supplements and diet changes). Husband had a low morphology score on his SA around 6 months TTC. For personal faith reasons we are not open to IUI or IVF. Three months before our BFP we switched to the Creighton charting method and were going to start working with a NaProTechnology Dr.
Road to conceiving LO #2: Postpartum my hormones "seemed" to stay in a good place. I haven't been on thyroid meds since my LO was born. Recently i have started to see the signs of my hormones going back to their old "bad" ways. This week I had my levels drawn and am doing CD 3 testing tomorrow so we can devise a plan. I have been playing ostrich for the past year, anxious to get started. Ideally we will start TTC in July- that give me a couple months to get my levels back where they need to be.
And yes to when will we find the time! I also work full time and our son sleeps in our bed for portions of time every night. *sigh* Still breastfeeding, but my period came back at 4 months so that isn't a problem.
cherry / 181 posts
@Tidybee: Hi! It has been almost a year since I logged in! time flies!
grapefruit / 4663 posts
@Tidybee: I'm in the same boat as you. We are NTNP bc I don't have the urgency I did the first time around. We are also debating being okay with just one. TTC/infertility really screwed with my head last time and I just don't know if I can do it again. We definitely won't do IUI or IVF. DS will be fine if he's an only, and I go through days of being completely ok with that and then others not so much. Also I can't really say we are ttc but your post really spoke to me bc it was so similar to how I've been feeling about the whole thing.
GOLD / pomegranate / 3688 posts
@ParkerHaus: Congratulations on almost 1 year of being a mom!!!
I totally hear you on being an ostrich about this stuff. I was in such bad denial when we were TTC DD. Looking back, I really wish I had sought help earlier. But I was *so* convinced that it would happen naturally. Sigh.
Re: TTC while BFing - I think I posted this somewhere else today (but I can't remember where...): My period came back at 7 weeks pp and I BF until about 14 mo (full time until 12 mo, then gradually dropped feeds). Because of that, I thought I would have no problem getting KU while BFing, but my charts said otherwise - my hormones were just *slightly* out of whack until I weaned DD completely. It wasn't until the first full cycle after weaning that I had a "normal" cycle. And, interestingly, I got pregnant that cycle (last month). Because I m/c so early, I wonder if it was just a normal CP or if my loss was somehow related to my body not yet being quite back to normal. Who knows. There is a support thread somewhere (MrsMcCarthy started it) on TTC while BFing - it seems like a lot of women have no problem getting KU while BFing, but I am not one of them.
persimmon / 1085 posts
@CupQuakeWalk: I can't keep all the previous WB names straight, so I still forget who I already know here! Here's hoping all of us Oct. '12 Mama's and Fall '12 Mama's have our second babies soon!!
honeydew / 7295 posts
I'll come out of lurking to share the bfing link here:
http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-breastfeeding-thread
I echo Septca in saying a period doesn't necessarily mean you are ovulating or having a strong ovulation. In my case charting has revealed a later O and short LP which are classic signs of high prolactin or hormonal issues from breast feeding. You could be one of the lucky ones though as I've seen many women get KU whilst nursing including my mother. I haven't been so lucky and on month 5 I'm down to one feed a night but still seem to be having the same issue. Some women hace to fuly wean and some dont. We have a date in mind when we will go that route but till then im just praying i get lucky. Good luck to you!
And to all you ladies, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this again. It doesn't seem fair or right and if my pathetic 5 months is killing me I can only imagine how you feel. I hope you all have babies on the way ASAP!
cherry / 181 posts
@MrsMccarthy: Ahhh Thanks! At the same time- awk crap- I hadn't thought of BF adding to the mix. I was hoping to do extended breastfeeding. -UGH I guess we wil see where my levels are- Prolactin is one of the ones we are testing.
Which reminds me here is what we are testing: Monday we tested a full thyroid panel and progesterone. Thursday we are doing the following: FSH/LH, DHEA-S, Insulin, CMP, Estradiol, Progesterone, Glycated hemoglobin.
grapefruit / 4028 posts
Seeing that all of you successfully have a baby gives me hope that I will someday. I hope and pray you all get blessed with LO#2 soon!
GOLD / coconut / 8266 posts
@septca: no, some did TI or IUI. Some had monitoring but got pregnant without IUI or IVF. I'd love it if more bees joined us!
GOLD / pomegranate / 3688 posts
@swedishfish: I'm over there, too, and agree that the more places to get support, the better. Like you, I often feel like I have no idea where I belong - I know all too well the trials and scars of IF, but I already have a baby... It's a tough line to walk sonetines. And now that there is talk of separating out the IF boards, I feel even more alone because I don't know that I would feel comfortable or even be welcome in an IF-only zone. At the same time, remember well that pain and understand the desire to be separate. There are no easy answers. Sigh.
coffee bean / 34 posts
@septca: I already feel a little beat down and we've just barely started ttc #2. I'm using progesterone again and I think part of the frustration is all the hassle of temping and opk's and the progesterone is a suppository which is no fun. I'm hoping it gets better.
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