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I had abruption of the placenta with my first and I was such a wreak towards the end of my pregnancy with my second. The fear of having something go wrong again was overwhelming. I think it is only naturally to look back at how things have gone before and feel sad or scared when they don't go the way you invisioned.
With my third now I do have to say that I have felt much more relaxed and go with the flow in my thrid trimester then I did with my second, so I guess it is getting better with time.

i thought about it a lot the first year after i had charlie, but now it seems like a distant memory, especially since i had a pretty easy labor with olive so i know that all labors are not as difficult as mine was with charlie's.

I would say my experience was okay. I was induced 2 weeks late, in labor for 24 hours and ended up with a spinal block when my contractions were on top of one another. I still think about it now and then. I thought about it a lot more right after DS was born. He is 20 months old now, and I'm pretty much at peace with what happened.
I wish I hadn't had the spinal block and that I asked for the pitocin to be increased more slowly. I actually have more residual anger toward my in-laws for ignoring us and camping out in the hospital the entire time, my MIL tryin to sneak in my room while I was delivering, and my MIL taking DS from me to hold right after he was born. My step mom had held my leg for nearly 3 hours and had been up all night with me while I was in labor and MIL swooped in and held DS before she got to.

We are planning on another child and hopefully I'll go into labor on my own. And we are not telling my in-laws right away when we go tithe hospital or if we are scheduled to be induced!

I labored, pushed, c-section with my first LO as well. I thought about it (and cried about it) all the time. In fact, sometimes I struggle to read the beautiful birthing stories on here, I get very jealous and that happened almost three years ago!

However, I was scheduled C with my second, but water broke early. It was a COMPLETELY different experience. I wasn't as tired, because there was no labor, the recovery was faster and just a better all around experience. I wouldn't be too worried about a schedule c-section, I was so much happier with this one

I had good deliveries for the most part, but horrible anesthesia situations for both, which I've blogged about and probably scared all of you to death with. Honestly though now that I'm completely recovered from both deliveries and my babies were both born super healthy and have only been thriving, I don't think about the deliveries anymore. After my first delivery I did get sad every time I watched a delivery on TV (like on A Baby Story) where it was magical and emotional and perfect, but I don't care anymore after #2. When people mention how crazy my deliveries were I'm almost surprised to find they're talking about me because it's all behind me now. It helps that I know that I'm probably done with having children so I never have to do it again. Finally my body is my own again!

I have a lot of sadness about mine. I'd say that I'm at peace with it, but very disappointed. I have a few friends pregnant now and planning on natural birthing, and I can't even hear them talk about it. I really hope to have a successful natural birth one day.

Your experience sounds really scary - have you considered counseling about it? I've thought about it myself, but I'm managing to work through it well on my own.

@junebugmama: seriously.

I always wanted a few kids...but at this point, I can't imagine having any more. Pregnancy,labor,recovery & PP hormones are all things I can do without! As much as I want more kids...it'll take lots of time & convincing to get me on that bandwagon again.
And I had a great labor! But still : everything prior to and proceeding was just...exhausting.