I have noticed a lot of my friends that have more than LO, tend to compare the 2 of them. I had lunch with my BFF and she said her one son was going to be the brain" and the other "dumb jock." Does anyone else do this?
-
@littlek: I always wonder this too! Aw that made me sad, the "dumb jock" comment
-
@stargal: I know! Especially considering he's only 20 months old. I have a few neighbors who have one of their LOs in private school and when I asked about their 2nd one being in private school to they said "no, she/he's not as smart."
-
This one lady (not on hb) has a blog and I can't even read it because she is always making negative and passive/ aggressive comments about her second child, in relation to her first one. I have read for awhile and it seemed like she forgot that the first one (insert anything here)- didn't sleep well either- or whatever and while I know it may be somewhat natural to compare and observe and I know this sort of thing happens... I can't read anymore... I feel sorry for the second kid! He just seems like a normal baby to me...
-
@littlek: wtf? Ah, people (re: negative comments/ comparisons) can't they just think it and not say it if at all?
-
I think it's inevitable to compare/contrast a little bit, but that seems a bit much! I like posts I have seen about how every child is their favorite child in a different way.
-
I think it's natural to compare, but it doesn't have to be negative.
-
We do but we definitely don't say things like that. For us it's more general observations...
-
I think it's inevitable to compare, but you don't have to do it in a negative way. We acknowledge that Noelle is more shy and cautious, and Jaren is the more aggressive risk-taker and we're going to have to babyproof the heck out of our house because of him... it's not good or bad, just different. It's just observation and fact.
-
Yes, we compare a lot but not in a bad way. Dh and I just really can't believe how different two siblings can be!
-
We compare things like when they hit milestones, eating and sleeping habits, personalities. I think it's inevitable, but doesn't always have to be negative.
-
@littlek: my best friend struggles with this bc her first son is super smart and tested into a gifted program available at a private school. Her younger son did not. She wants to give every advantage to her first son and put him somewhere where he fits in and is happy being challenged. But she doesn't want her younger son to feel inferior in any way. Her younger son is athletic - plays all sports exceptionally well and her older son is not into sports and not very coordinated...so that's another difference she struggles with. She just tried to raise her kids to be happy for each other and try their best
-
hmmm i really don't think we do because they are just so different!
-
We do but only in more objective ways - ie physical similarities/differences, feeding tendencies, sleep etc. I think it's human nature to compare current experiences to previous experiences, but that doesn't mean we have to judge our children based on those observations. The 'dumb jock' comment makes me so sad - children grow up to be what we believe they can be.
-
Ya, we compare but not like that.
-
We do, but only because I think it's damn near impossible not too. When one can sit up and the other can't, for example, it's pretty obvious. We're trying to make sure that all of our comments are positive- Ellie is so observant, Jack has been really mechanically minded recently- instead of anything negative. I can't imagine saying the dumb jock comment.
-
@Ree723: exactly. It's hard not to compare your 2+ children. It's more observation than anything and I would never do it in a critical way.
Reply
Subscribe to our newsletter
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
16 comments