Spinoff from another thread on positive parenting. If you use these techniques (no time outs, your child is a whole person whose emotions are valid, no yelling, etc etc.), does your SO actively use these techniques as well? Do you discuss parenting techniques together? Does he/she do their own thing?
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We do, we don't discuss it a ton but for us it really helped that I was a nanny for a long time so I'd come home and say "wow, this worked really well" or "they want me to handle it this way but I'd rather do X" etc. It was a good, hypothetical way to get us on the same page. Now it's mostly "this worked well today" or "I'm trying to avoid X for this reason." He's really good about feedback and will typically defer to my opinion or will tweak it slightly for himself. It helps that I've been modeling it for so many years.
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We aim for this... While I am more "natural" at it and "better" at it (because I'm the one that reads about it and do the research, etc), this def isn't something DH defaults to so I just have to remind him and when it's working, I make sure he is noticing.
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For the most part, yes. He has occasionally threatened time out, but I think it's only actually happened like twice. She's a really well behaved kid and typically we just need to pull her aside and talk with her a little.
ETA: he doesn't read parenting books, but will read shorter articles or sections of books. We discuss parenting very often
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Not as much as I do. And you can see the difference in how they react when he does not employ these methods.
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I think DH's natural parenting technique is probably what is considered "positive parenting." I am the one who reads parenting books and I think I've read the positive parenting one (honestly, I've read so many at this point that I forget), but either way, I feel like both of us have really just fallen into this style of parenting unintentionally. We do discuss parenting techniques occasionally (mostly if I've read an interesting book or article) but we are lucky that we have also mostly been in sync naturally.
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For the most part, we both parent this way. We each have our strengths and weaknesses with it, but usually one of us will notice the other struggling and step in to help get things back on track. I've done the bulk of the "research" (because I like to gather information and because I'm in the early childhood field), but my husband has read/sought out articles before. We talk a fair amount about tactics and what we think works/doesn't work/should change. I think my husband is comfortable with gentle parenting, just as a part of his personality. The only time we stray are times of high-stress (and then our own parent's bad habits rear their ugly heads!!)
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Yes we both do. It's what comes most natural but we both slip at times. When that happens we usually just remind each other to use a different approach, or the other parent steps in and takes over.
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Yes yes yes yes. We have a ton of conversations about it. I feel like he and I are both constantly striving to get better at it. There are some aspects of our chosen parenting approach that don't come naturally to either of us, so we are always having discussions about what we can do better.
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Yes but she's only 19 months old- so it's still mostly theoretical
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Yes. We both read "No Bad Kids" and then discussed it before implementing any changes.
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