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To answer your questions, yes, it affected me, but I also got over it as more and more time passed and we moved past the liquid diet stages. Now, I don't even think about it any more (my son is three), but I did shed a lot of tears over it.

maybe you should hide her from your newsfeed for a while?

I'm sorry but I find it very strange that she is posting to Facebook that her LO drained both boobs. I breast fed for 14 months and never felt the need to share that information with the world. Try not to let it upset you. E is a happy, healthy beautiful baby girl who was very well fed by her mama no matter what form that food came in!

Well....i was never able to BF. At one point, even the LC said it was going to be extremely difficult and i may just be "one of those moms that couldn't". So i pumped. For 3 months. Then i wasn't making enough (7 oz/day) and it was draining the life out of me, so i quit. It bothered me for a week? But my quality of life drastically improved after I stopped. It hasn't bothered me since. E is happy and healthy and growing fine. I just don't really give a shit anymore, lol.

I would have issues with that post because i dislike bragging in general...and that's what a post like that feels like. Big whoop, your boobs work, lol. But I also realize that some women put all their weight of being an excellent mother in their ability to breastfeed. I can't relate to that. Breastfeeding doesn't make you a good mother! Not breastfeeding doesn't make you a failure. I took a lot of satisfaction in watching DH feed E so often. It warmed my heart in ways that me breastfeeding her likely never would have

@anagram, I will not EP again. No fucking way.

I couldn’t/didn’t breastfeed (milk never came in, despite LC consults and pumping every couple hours, etc.) and it’s never bothered me at all (sorry!). I never felt less bonded to my daughter when I held her close to me and bottle fed her, her little eyes staring up at me and her little fingers gripping mine. We didn’t need a breast between us to create the attachment we had for each other. I’ve never felt like *I* wasn’t providing my LO food, because *I* always have provided her food; it just happened to come in a little bit different format, that’s all.

Plus there were plenty of upsides in the end; including seeing my husband carefully cradle and feed his tiny daughter from day 1. That view was even more beautiful when it was 2am and I got to go back to sleep! LOL

I felt 'guilty' until my 6 week pp appointment. My OB asked me if I was breastfeeding and I quietly said no. I thought for sure i was going to get a talking to about why I should be. But he just looked at me and said 'it's ok if you're not. It doesn't work for every one and that is nothing to be ashamed of or quiet about'. I instantly felt better, because he was right. It wasn't something I should be ashamed of.

I put guilty in quotes because I don't think I really felt guilty. I think I made myself think I did, because i told myself that I should feel guilty. With my second, I had no problems breastfeeding...but I realized i didn't enjoy it, or really like it. I didn't feel any more bonded to her than I did my first. I only ended up breastfeeding her for 2 weeks because I realized I'm a much happier mama when formula feeding.

@blackbird: I your second paragraph! So true

@Cherrybee: Just wanted to chime in on the bonding/cuddling. Xander was breastfed and he didn't seem particularly attached to it and/or like cuddling me! He didn't seem to care if he was being nursed or given a bottle - it was apparently all the same to him. So breastfeeding doesn't automatically equal any special bonding!

@Cherrybee: I totally get mourning something you don't have; but it's also easy to build up things you didn't have in your head, too and make them more than they are/were.

What I described I only had a couple of times in the early days (except for watching my husband with LO, which was always lovely from day 1). I had severe PPD and a colicky baby; so the really beautiful, quiet times definitely stand out to me in my memory. It definitely was not always, or mostly even, happy like I described but there was also nothing to guilt myself over, either for not breastfeeding. Bf wouldn't have changed our circumstances.

I tried to BF for a while but after a few weeks I was EPing and supplementing with formula. Once she was 6 months I switched to formula exclusively.

I had a lot of guilt in the beginning, but mostly because society told me I *should* feel guilty. I cried and cried because I was hormonal and emotional and my "baby friendly" hospital was making things very difficult on me and my DD.

Once I made the decision to stop, I haven't really looked back. I know my dd is healthy, strong, and bonded to me. She defies all of the "breast is best" logic that people spew out... She hasn't been sick a day in her life, she has a healthy weight, she is happy and bonded, she meets all her milestones on time...etc etc

So seeing her grow so well has helped ease the stress I first felt. I also tried to focus on the positives of bottle feeding (DH loved feeding her ! I could take mini vacations with DH while my parents watched her overnight, I never had to worry if she was getting enough, she sttn early, etc etc).

I already know I will not want to Bf #2. I will either FF from the beginning or EP again, depending on what works for our family. I am admittedly worried about how my hospital will react to this plan though and do stress about this often enough. Apparently they send a psychologist to talk to all mothers who choose not to BF. Sigh.

*hugs*!

@Cherrybee: I hope that when you have another LO you get the best newborn experience possible, whether it includes BFing or not you, and every mom deserves it

Also.... I love love love this article so much. It takes the shift off of breast vs bottle and focuses on giving each mama the support they want and need. If our hospitals were set up like this I think we'd all be a lot better off!

http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2014/05/22/the-politics-of-breastfeeding/happy-mom-happy-baby

I'm still not completely over it and we are at 5 months. I BF for a month but had to supplement after every feeding and also pumped to try to make more. My husband was in the middle of a stressful job interview and I had zero family support on the breastfeeding (my whole family formula feeds). After blocked ducts, sleepless nights and a constantly hungry baby, I eventually crashed and burned emotionally & physically and gave up. It took a while for me to realize I needed to be a happy, healthy mom for my baby, but I still feel lonely as everyone I know BF's and it's like a shameful secret I admit to no one. I cried a LOT of tears and would tell my husband how I was a terrible mother.

I'm starting to get over it a little now, and I feel as we move past the liquid stage I will get over it more. It's nice to know there are others out there and to see the sweet support people give to mom's on here! There is a lot more to being a good mom than formula or breastmilk...

And @photojane, I love that you talk about the "new squishy" you will have in the hospital. I tell my son all the time the line from Nemo, "You are my Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."

I am grateful that I was able to breastfeed, and we are still nursing. However, I can relate to you a little bit because I was ever able to exclusively breastfeed. We supplemented with formula from day 5 & at 7 months we are still supplementing. It's not the same at all, but I will tell you I still have sad days where I feel guilty that LO has had formula and not a "virgin" gut. I still get self-conscious bottle feeding in public from time to time, though it's much easier now that LO is not a newborn.

Hugs to you - you are a fantastic mama

I'm so grateful for this thread today. I'm pumping in the nicu for my LO who is 4 weeks old. He's only been at the breast twice & was unable to latch. I'm only getting about 6 oz per day at this point so he's getting lots more formula than breast milk. I'm sad because we haven't been able to breast feed and sad that my body is not producing the amount of milk that he needs. But you ladies have reminded me that everything will be ok no matter how we end up feeding!