when did it finally happen consistently?
DS has always been a crap sleeper (see prior posts). When he was 9 months he finally started only getting up 1-2 times a night and that was glorious.... At that time. Now, 2 months later and almost to the ONE year mark I am just drained. When will he STTN???
A few tidbits of info: he is small percentile wise, he has a VSD (hole in his heart), he drains a 6 oz bottle during his wake up's so I do believe he is hungry, he is not a great eater during the day
My thought* is that he is just not getting enough food during the day and he is hungry. We do puree's and table food but he just doesn't eat much. We do 3- 4 oz bottles during the day too and it's a pain to get him to drink them.. he is too busy..... but he'll drain the 6 oz bottle at bedtime and during the night when he wakes up
persimmon / 1390 posts
I said 3 years but my 4 y/o still sometimes wakes up to pee. I think until close to 3 she was still waking up to pee and for other reasons because I remember being nervous for 2 kids waking up when her sister was born when she was 2.5.
20 month old usually wakes up 1-2 times crying. A lot of times I give into her requests to read a story but more recently we’ve been putting the hard stop on it and letting her cry. The challenge is I can’t sleep through her crying (sometimes I’ll go sleep in the basement). It seems like we’ll have a good 2 weeks and then she’ll wake up a bunch of times (like last night). It’s better when my husband goes in and finds her pacifier for her vs me. She’s kind of all over the place. She was a bad sleeper from the start so I just started going to bed really early so i could give myself a good span of time over which I might get in an actual 7 hours of sleep. These days I’m usually in bed by 9-9:30, but it was 8:30 at the latest when she was little.
In short, I’m still up an average of 2 times per night and my kids are 20 months and 4 I’m always tired. I also get up at 5:15 most days to run, and can’t sleep in on weekends (kids get up around 6-6:30 and it’s easier if I exercise before they’re up). If I get a solid 6 hours uninterrupted in a row I feel like superwoman.
Night weaning made a big difference for us. We had a sleep-eat association and once we broke it things were better. I don’t consider 5am a nighttime feed, and we would still do those with both our girls.
What sorts of table foods are you giving him? My kids were off purees by 10 months and eating all regular food. They were definitely sleeping better at that point but IDK if it was because they were eating more or because they were older. Maybe try more whole grain, protein-rich meals and full-fat dairy (yogurt, cheese, cottage cheese) to help fill him up (of course half your food should be fruit and veg, but if he’s eating “kid foods” like regular waffles or white pasta the switch could help). While they make a nice range of purees with grains and proteins now, if you’re mostly doing fruit and veg blends that’s not necessarily enough.
pomegranate / 3355 posts
@Becky: I feel ya!! This is exactly what I see for myself... I go to bed as early as I can, usually 830-9 but I am up at 5 am... and like you there is no sleeping in on weekends. I am just TIRED. I am a high sleep needs person so this is just killing me. I literally fantasize about the day he sleeps through the night! LOL
nectarine / 2262 posts
@ajsmommy we had to sleep train at 17 months unfortunately I didn't want to sleep train and didn't want to do CIO. My son had a lot of medical issues as a baby that really didn't get better until he was 14+ months old (severe reflux, food allergies, etc) and like you, I did not feel like I could let him CIO. His growth also fell off his curve at 9 month and he was still nursing a lot at night.
Starting around 13-14 months he STTN spontaneously like 1 night a week, so I thought "okay, we are making progress!"
Unfortunately it all went downhill from there. About 15-16 months, his sleep fell apart. It would take 2-3 hours to get him to fall asleep and stay asleep at night, which meant it would take me from like 6:30-9pm to get him to bed. THEN, he would wake up about midnight or 1am and be awake until 4 or 5 am. EVERY NIGHT. This was like the lowest point of my life. Maybe worse than when he was a newborn. I cried all the time. I almost quit my job because I could not function with such little, broken sleep. I almost got in several car accidents. I had to drive to and from work with the windows down and AC blasting to stay awake. My son was a WRECK all the time because he was exhausted.
So... we sleep trained out of necessity, because it was literally killing us. It wasn't easy, but it worked QUICKLY and amazingly well. We did Ferber-style (with checks). He cried off and on but began STTN almost immediately once he "learned" how to fall asleep on his own (that only took like 3 or 4 days). Now he is 2y4m and he STTN almost 12 hours every night unless he's really sick.
I have to say, as much as I was anti-CIO, anti-sleep training, it saved us and I won't hesitate to do it again. I feel your pain. I was so depressed, miserable, and exhausted.
pomegranate / 3355 posts
@MrsADS: thank you for your input! I'll be sure to revisit this if we get worse instead of better. I am just holding out hope that he'll get it here in the next few months. I really think if he would eat more during the day he'd be better sleeping at night, but we literally can't force feed him....
cantaloupe / 6085 posts
We sleep trained at 13m with my son - it was getting worse and we were both miserable. The night training went pretty quickly - nap training took longer but it kept him a decent sleeper for a long time (issues started back up around 2.5 but now are improving again).
grapefruit / 4361 posts
For my son, how much he eats definitely affects how much he sleeps, too. We noticed he slept better with a protein rich dinner ahout one hour before bedtime, mainly cheese and yogurt and some meatballs.... whatever he wanted in order to get him to eat enough.
We tried sleep training at 5m, 8m, and 10m with varying degrees of success. He'd learn and STTN for like 3-4 weeks, but it never lasted very long. Around 12m he started STTN on his own without training.
I think for us, key factors were protein rich dinner closer to bedtime, followed by full bottle of milk and brushing teeth, and then being consistent about leaving him alone to fall asleep.
ETA: he STTN 12-19 months and then went through a rough patch for 3 months in which we were inconsistent due to life factors, but now we are back on track based on those three aforementioned factors.
honeydew / 7463 posts
@Ajsmommy: It might be that he’s getting too much milk overnight so he’s not having much during the day. But really he should be done with bottles all together around a year anyway so not sure how that plays into things.
One thing you could try is to do less in the night time bottles. Can drop like an ounce every couple/few days. This will help you figure out if he is hungry or comfort feeding. And it will also hopefully try to shift more ounces to daytime/waking hours. 3-4oz per bottle seems really really small for his age. But I guess you did say he’s a small baby. My son was on 6/7oz per bottle around that age. How often does he take a bottle during the day?
pomegranate / 3355 posts
@SweetiePie: it's seriously difficult to get him to take a full 4 oz bottle during the day! He really is just not interested. It's really annoying honestly.
I have been thinking of reducing the amount in the nighttime bottles to see what happens.... and I was also thinking about how we are supposed to be done with bottles in less than 2 months and I just don't see that happening. This kid is soo different from my DD, she ate like a champ and weaned herself from over night feedings and bottle by herself and early. She was done with bottles at 11 months but here is DS still needing one at bedtime and 1-2 overnight. ughhhhhhh
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
I think by 18 months it was like 50/50 if we would have a night wake up or not. I think shortly after the second birthday we were more consistent with STTN. Last night all three kids were up.....
pear / 1728 posts
My daughter was a terrible sleeper until she turned one and didn't STTN consistently until 13-14 months. Once I stopped nursing it was like a switch flipped and she started sleeping 12 hours straight and still does at almost 22 months. I have no idea if sleep improving was related to stopping nursing or if it was just a coincidence.
pomelo / 5509 posts
I'm still sort of in the thick of it but DD, now 2 weeks out from being one, is starting to sleep through a bit more often. She's also really low in percentiles and though she nurses a lot, I'm not sure how much she takes in during the day. She's really inconsistent with solids. Honestly, I've found it does make a difference in her sleep when she eats more before bed. We have started trying to make her dinner the most filling meal we possibly can and something she will definitely eat, and we save the trying new foods stuff for other times of day. So her dinner is often oatmeal with almond milk, peanut butter, chunks of banana, and chia seeds. Nights she doesn't eat well she's almost guaranteed to wake up.
We did do a little CIO to go from 2 wake ups to 1 wake up because the first one really seemed to be more out of habit than hunger. I set a time limit in my head, where if she woke before 4 am I'd let her CIO. Anything after and if she was awake for 15+ mins I'd feed her.
Like I said we are still working on it but hopefully you turn the corner soon! I'm high sleep needs as well, so I get it.
grapefruit / 4291 posts
Both my kids started STTN at around 12-15 months but didn’t do it consistently until they were 18 months. It wasn’t something I did, it was just how they developed and I’m pretty sure it coincided with them eating more food during the day which meant they no longer needed the calories from a night feed.
I will say though that once they STTN they continued doing it and we’ve never had to “re-train” them and most of the time bedtime is pretty peaceful.
pomegranate / 3355 posts
@Becky: I give him everything we eat. Pasta, pizza, veggies, chicken, ham, tortillas, pb on bread, bagels, fruit... everything.. and he barely eats it.
persimmon / 1114 posts
No option on the poll, but it finally (mostly) happened when my lo hit 4 and went to summer camp. that was when he suddenly had no nap and a full day of physical activity (we’re talking swimming 2x a day, full outdoor activity for about 6 hours). Suddenly, bedtimes were a dream where he fell asleep before the 1st book was finished and finally finally slept through the night. Thankfully even with the return of school/colder weather, he managed to keep those habits for the most part.
His younger brother is 20 months and only just started because I finally decided to do CIO. However, it is still not consistent.
clementine / 935 posts
16 months when I weaned her. She's been pretty consistent since then.
pomegranate / 3127 posts
DD got there between 16 and 18 months. We did a combination of weaning and lite sleep training at 16 months.
grapefruit / 4455 posts
Not sure if this is really late because he did off and on (like I think there was a month he did?) but not consistent until I think it was 20 months? Mostly we were at one wake up just to be held for months at the end.
My other one I sleep trained at 16 months. But she sttn off and on from a young age.