Hellobee Boards

I know that for me I was tentative to join at first because it did seem like a place that was primarily for moms. But once the Infertility support thread was created I felt like I had a place to belong. And it has provided me with so much comfort and support during my infertility journey. Sometimes it's the only thread I visit.

I don't think that this site can be everything to everyone, but I think you all have done a great job of having bloggers that speak about infertility. I do remember when you had the TTC bloggers and that was really great too. But I know it can be hard to keep posting regularly while going through this rollercoaster ride.

Personally, I feel like this is a very supportive site with a lot of very encouraging and thoughtful women & men on it. However, the very nature of this site (that it has a little something for everyone from waiting to TTC through raising older children) means that women dealing with IF (or who aren't TTC yet) won't necessarily be able to feel "included" at all levels. I think that's ok though. In fact, it's sort of a relief. Other IF boards/communities out there can be REALLY intense and it's easy for me to get bogged down in feeling depressed and hopeless reading there. It's nice that I can come here instead and talking about IF if I feel like it, but also read about light hearted things or see pictures of kids of couples who have been through this all before.

I do feel like the IF board has been extremely supportive and made me feel like I am at home here! However, both IRL and here I feel "alone" when faced with so many people who do have kids. To me, I don't feel HB makes me feel "alone," it is my IF that makes me feel alone. I do like to read non-IF threads and learn more about pregnancy and becoming a mom, in hopes that I will someday get to use that knowledge! But sometimes I do just have to go straight to our IF thread and avoid other threads and feeling the heartache of not being a parent yet.

I loved having TTC bloggers, guest blogs on IF topics and the Blogger bees posts on IF and adoption!!! I agree that having more guest blogs on IF would be nice. Some of us have even discussed it in the past. I am hoping @spaniellove does write one, and maybe I will attempt to prepare one for submission. Do any of you have other suggestions on topics to cover? I would love to see a series of blog posts for IF Awareness week.

I think the new IF board is a great idea. The IF thread on the TTC board was so long and complicated with so many stories. It makes more sense that people can have separate posts for their separate questions, thoughts and experiences. Thanks Mr. Bee!

@mrs. wagon: Yes...i was surprised, too! When I lost her, I thought I had won the world's worst lottery. But, I have heard from women, some I've known all my life, that they had been through this, too. I just never knew. But, it's not something you come out with on a regular daily conversation. Even now, when strangers ask how many kids I have, I just say one 5 year old son, cause it's WAY easier than saying, "one 5 year old son and one dead daughter." So, I think it's just easier, emotionally, to just not talk about it.

I personally know another loss mother, so I would compare my feelings and experiences with her. She's happy to talk about it to me, and say "yeah, I felt that way, too." So, I'm thinking that writing it out and posting on here, or wherever, could lead to another loss mother out there, looking for her feelings to be validated, to find what I'm saying and say, "oh good, that's how I feel, too...I'm not weird." It's why I'm happy for this outlet.

Thank you for your kind words.

Yay for a new IF Board!

I just posted some ideas to hopefully help make our IF stories easier to follow, easier to find info about a certain topic, and hopefully more inviting. I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas too!

http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/infertility-support-thread/page/72?replies=2876

Sometimes?

I do feel a bit out of place sometimes after our m/c and not being pregnant yet. Even though we started trying last spring I don't feel like I fit into the IF group as I was pregnant and dealing with the loss for part of the last year. I feel like I was able to get pregnant and thus shouldn't join the IF group or wouldn't be welcomed there(or wouldn't have anything helpful to add to the conversation). Probably my issue not HBs.

I also feel bad posting under the miscarriage portion of the boards because I don't want to relate all of our current TtC to that.

I do enjoy the people here and the Friends I have made/am making but I do feel out of place here sometimes.

@mrbee: Totally understandable!

I think in general this site is very welcoming and inclusive. I have really appreciated having the IF thread when I needed support. But of course it doesn't feel great when people post about how they got pregnant on the first try. Or when someone says people with REs are lucky to get such early and often monitoring in pregnancy. When you haven't been struggling the way we have, you say things that come out insensitive because you just have no frame of reference.

@MrsCastro: I agree with @bluestriped bee:, that thread is just such a behemoth it's really hard to keep up with. Everyone's posting different updates and asking questions and there's like 4 conversations going on at any one time. I'm sure any of us that are active on that thread would be happy to answer if we can. Maybe you can bump it or start a new thread and we can try to help out?

you got a lot of great feedback comments on here - but I'll just say when I first joined HB i was TTC, and it took us about 7 or 8 months, I think I was on this community for 4 or 5 of those months... I always selected the TTC filter to just get pertinent boards and I thought that was great. After I was pregnant I stopped filtering and read all of the boards - so that was a good solution for me!

I can say that I too feel out of place and in HB limbo. With 13 failed cycles & not really knowing what's going on with our fertility I feel like I don't belong in the IF threads & I fee out of place in the TWW because we've been trying for so long. Our situation is unique with DH having chronic pain, this is our main problem with infertility, is his ability to preform. I have found one other bee to talk with about this and that has been nice. Outside of that I feel very alone on HB I still try my best to fit in with others & comment on random post in other areas. I do feel that HB's focus is on pregnancy, parenting, & ttc. One of the reasons why I'm backing off HB for a while.

@MrsCastro I'm in HB limbo with you and I know the feeling. The TWW threads have just become depressing so I've had to step away. Currently I mostly lurk and then comment here and there.

When I originally signed up for HB I never used it really, but when we started TTC I joined in on I think my second cycle. At the time there really wasn't anything out there on the blog about IF that I saw and there weren't really any boards either. We continued trying and eventually two boards started focusing on it taking forever (one that is now our IF board). I didn't join at first because I hadn't been trying long enough, but once I did, it was a Godsend. Now that I'm pregnant, I'm trying to promote IF support from the other side and I've really enjoyed finally wanting to read the pregnant threads. I think Mrs. Polish's blogs lately have been great to read and I'm glad that IF has finally become a bigger issue here, as so many of us deal with it. I hope it continues to evolve as it has since I started here. I think HB is definitely moving in the right direction.

And I think I'd write a blog post about my infertility story for submittal.

Through a decent part of our IF struggle, Hellobee was interesting and helpful. There weren't many people on here who were dealing with what I was, but I still appreciated the DIY and craft posts, and reading blogger/s journeys.
That being said, when the TTC bloggers were 'discontinued', I did end up leaving for a little bit, only because there was a lot less for me to identify with.

Now that the Hellobee community is so much bigger, things may be different. (Also, now that I'm pregnant, you can't tear me away from the boards).